I Kill For The Trees!

[Sans]

lucky bastard…

If he hadn’t been sobering up from all the ketchup-flavored soda he had been drinking, he would have definitely been crying at that moment. A small part of him was bitter, envious even. He had been looking for Papyrus for what must have been a year, and some random polar bear managed to find his own family just by sitting around and talking. Perhaps the world just had a wish to screw up his own life so that everyone else could be happy like he was some kind of hero sacrificing himself for the greater good. If this was what a hero had to go through, he would rather just throw in the towel and go home. He wasn’t a hero. Monsters like Undyne were heroes.

Yet, at the same time, a wave of hope washed over him. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one he hadn’t experienced in a while, even after Frisk had informed him of her loss of powers. Papyrus had to be somewhere. If the people of Ambrosia could stick their necks out like this for some bear that likely no one knew, then he too, potentially, could find Papyrus.

He fantasized about the possibility for a few moments. A small, pink car covered in multicolored ribbons, sparkling glitter, zooming into town with a massive dragon as its noble carrier. And there, sitting in the driver’s seat, miming a racer in first place, would be his tall, skeletal brother. He wasn’t certain what he’d do if he saw that. He could shut down; he could cry; he could become so happy that it would put Undyne’s reunion with Alphys to shame. Either way, he was certain that, no matter what, he’d take Papyrus far, far away from where anyone could touch him again. Build a house on an island somewhere, perhaps. Be a family again.

It was just a matter of finding him first.

Undyne turned to face Sans. “So… why do you smell like someone dumped a vat of ketchup all over you?”

“Sans is drunk.” Ice Bear said, brandishing some candy bars. “Ice Bear has been sobering him up.”

“ive been tappin’ into my hedonistic side!” the skeleton said, the drunken drawl in his voice having dissipated.

Undyne shot him a raised eyebrow. “You mean sleeping and lazing about?”

Sans shrugged. “who wouldn’t want to sleep and laze about all day?”

“Those of us who want to grow big and strong, obviously!” She stood tall, maintaining a posture of dominance with a big, toothy grin on her face.

“yawn.” Sans said. Undyne rolled her eyes before sitting down next to him.

“So, why exactly are you here? Not that I don’t mind seeing a familiar face, but you don’t strike me as the kind of monster to be hanging out with soldiers on a mission.”

“tibia honest...” he said, pausing to allow his pun to sink in. Both Ice Bear and Undyne groaned. Satisfied, Sans continued.

“tibia honest, i was hopin’ i could tag along, ya know. the princess is comin’ with, right?”

"...while drunk?"

"not-quite drunk. i'm sober. just ask ice bear."

Undyne nodded and looked at the polar bear. Ice Bear shrugged his shoulders.

“...right. i wanted to ask her some questions while she’s in the area.”

“I see.”

“speakin’ of questions, what exactly are you guys doin’?” Sans asked.

“Guu wants Ice Bear and Undyne to help her with a bad tree.”

“a bad tree, huh? what's the root of the issue?”

“We basically have an evil tree causing problems for these people called elves,” Undyne said, deciding to ignore his pun, “and Guu wants to take us to deal with it.”

“elves, huh? pointy-eared people?”

“Yeah.”

“dark, wood, or high?”

“Um…”

“how many rings do they got?”

“I… don’t know?”

Sans shrugged. “guess we’re gonna find out.”