Dante's Abyss['17] Fan Mail

[Clownpiece]

To: Clownpiece
From: Billy Joe
Your doin your country proud son
Show them commie bastard’s how its done!
#AMERICA #USA


To: Clownpiece
From: Jed
THANK YOU for representing the GREATEST COUNTRY on EARTH at this year’s DA
God bless you, for going as far as you did, and GOD BLESS AMERICA
#starspangledbanner #USA


To: Clownpiece
From: Anonymousse
You fought so fearlessly. I can’t believe a little girl’s got more balls than half the contestants at DA this year. Can’t wait to see how far you go at next year’s!


Dear Clownpiece,
My name is Chevy Winchester, founder and owner of Bullets, Banners, and Bibles Inc. I watched you closely during Dante’s Abyss this year, and I just have to say, you’re the kind of fresh talent we’ve been looking for in the Omniverse. We need a cute, God-fearing face to be the mascot for our brand and we think we’ve found it in you. If you’re interested, come by our Headquarters in Tier 4 of Coruscant, at [ADDRESS REDACTED]


Hey, Clownpiece
Hi I rlly enjoyed watching you fight. You kicked total ass this year. You’re an inspiration and I hope you do better next year. There’s just one little thing I’d like you to do differently. You know that dress you’re wearing? It’s rlly problematic. I’ve got a much better design for you that doesn’t carry shitty, capitalistic connotations. You’re a prime, so you should be able to make it even if you don’t know how to sew.
[Attached to the fanmail is a shitty photoshop of Clownpiece’s dress changed into the patterns of the Soviet flag]