07-06-2017, 11:14 PM
“Whoa whoa whoa! Hold the fuUCK up!” I shout irritably, rubbing my neck with my hand and trying to power through the swear-induced electrical feedback.
“Not gonna work a second time, Frog Face!” replies my silver-haired Edge-Lady as she continues to bring the pain. And I mean that seriously. Whatever the bitch did, she picked up some speed to her. Even focusing purely on avoiding HER blows hasn't allowed me to dodge them all and my carapace is splintered and gushing purple ichor from the few blows she's managed to land. The shitty thing was that focusing purely on Emily Rose had opened me up to the other two taking potshots on me too. My body was covered in gashes from Bedelia's blades and even Legolas managed to get in a few good hits (you know, after that choreographed dance number we did). Why couldn't these bitches just let me go? They got THAT big a murder boner for me? I don't even KNOW them.
Anyway, back to the action. So, HerCUNTles is swinging away at me while the Tweedle Twins take their cheap shots. Which brings me back to...
“No, sserioussly!”
I shoot a glare over at Emo Stan and continue, “Did you sserioussly just choke me with a goddAMN electrical cord?”
The boy looks a little abashed, his eyes shifting a bit as he rubs the back of his neck.
“Uh... yeah?”
I duck under a skull-shattering swing and continue while Tamsin drags some knives out of my back, “Wow. Really? That hass GOT to be the lamesst shiiIT ever. You get all your combat movess from ninetiess videogamess, or just the awful oness?”
Now the guy REALLY looks ashamed, even going so far as to look at his feet. Now, on to...
“And you!” I shout, taking a glancing blow to my head-crest which cracks my chitin. “Little Misss Sstabby-Sstabby! Ain't you jusst a fuuuuUUUCKing piecce of work: stabbing a guy in the back when he'ss already outnumbered. Kami H Chrisst, you are just an awful human being, aren't you?”
Chick has tears in her eyes once I get done berating her. Hell, so do I. Well... in my EYE. But that's mostly cuz I hurt all over. Tail gone. Hand gone. Body wrecked worse than Karl the morning after Boy's Night Out. I'm about done.
Blondie is screaming at her friends not to listen to me; that I'm just trying to get under their skin. She ain't wrong. But, for all her anger, she has ONE weakness. The one weakness everyone has. The one weakness that will give me the opening I need to escape. I peek past her should, my eye going wide and point.
“Iss that Donkey Kong!?”
She looks, because who the fuck DOESN'T love some classic Dee Kay action. When they trio look up again, I've ghosted. Their only clue as to whether I was there at all is the echoing sound of, “LATER SSUCKERSS!” coming from outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, THAT didn't last long. I hadn't even made it a block before they were on my case again. Jeez... couldn't they have just played some damn videogames and left me the hell alone? Worst part was they were going about this shit a lot smarter this time: while Tits McEdge chased me down from behind I guess she sent her lackeys out to block my escape routes. Seemed every other street, one or the other was blocking an exit. And soon enough, they caught me. I turned onto a street only to find myself blocked in by Maid in China and Angst Incarnate. A glance over my shoulder is enough to confirm that Coldsteel has closed off my other escape route, the chick actually laughing like one of those anime antagonistas.
“Nowhere to run now, bug,” she taunts me as she closes in. “Just die already.”
“Ok, firsst off,” I reply as I scan for any possible salvation in this situation, “RUDE.”
I spot an alleyway nearby, far too thin to walk down normally, but...
“Ssecondly, shouldn't you be ssitting in some dark corner brooding?”
Okay, THAT pissed her off. She lunges for me, and that's when I take my chance. I crouch slightly, my legs bending outwards as I raise my arms and make a claw with my remaining hand. With all the agility of a frightened crab escaping an angry Jamaican, I scuttle sideways into the alleyway, letting loose a hearty “Woop woop woop-woop-woop!!” as I go. It's a good thing they cut off my tail, cuz I wouldn't have fit otherwise. An angered shout from the other road is my confirmation that the plan was a success... at least for now. Time to get back to running!
“Not gonna work a second time, Frog Face!” replies my silver-haired Edge-Lady as she continues to bring the pain. And I mean that seriously. Whatever the bitch did, she picked up some speed to her. Even focusing purely on avoiding HER blows hasn't allowed me to dodge them all and my carapace is splintered and gushing purple ichor from the few blows she's managed to land. The shitty thing was that focusing purely on Emily Rose had opened me up to the other two taking potshots on me too. My body was covered in gashes from Bedelia's blades and even Legolas managed to get in a few good hits (you know, after that choreographed dance number we did). Why couldn't these bitches just let me go? They got THAT big a murder boner for me? I don't even KNOW them.
Anyway, back to the action. So, HerCUNTles is swinging away at me while the Tweedle Twins take their cheap shots. Which brings me back to...
“No, sserioussly!”
I shoot a glare over at Emo Stan and continue, “Did you sserioussly just choke me with a goddAMN electrical cord?”
The boy looks a little abashed, his eyes shifting a bit as he rubs the back of his neck.
“Uh... yeah?”
I duck under a skull-shattering swing and continue while Tamsin drags some knives out of my back, “Wow. Really? That hass GOT to be the lamesst shiiIT ever. You get all your combat movess from ninetiess videogamess, or just the awful oness?”
Now the guy REALLY looks ashamed, even going so far as to look at his feet. Now, on to...
“And you!” I shout, taking a glancing blow to my head-crest which cracks my chitin. “Little Misss Sstabby-Sstabby! Ain't you jusst a fuuuuUUUCKing piecce of work: stabbing a guy in the back when he'ss already outnumbered. Kami H Chrisst, you are just an awful human being, aren't you?”
Chick has tears in her eyes once I get done berating her. Hell, so do I. Well... in my EYE. But that's mostly cuz I hurt all over. Tail gone. Hand gone. Body wrecked worse than Karl the morning after Boy's Night Out. I'm about done.
Blondie is screaming at her friends not to listen to me; that I'm just trying to get under their skin. She ain't wrong. But, for all her anger, she has ONE weakness. The one weakness everyone has. The one weakness that will give me the opening I need to escape. I peek past her should, my eye going wide and point.
“Iss that Donkey Kong!?”
She looks, because who the fuck DOESN'T love some classic Dee Kay action. When they trio look up again, I've ghosted. Their only clue as to whether I was there at all is the echoing sound of, “LATER SSUCKERSS!” coming from outside.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Well, THAT didn't last long. I hadn't even made it a block before they were on my case again. Jeez... couldn't they have just played some damn videogames and left me the hell alone? Worst part was they were going about this shit a lot smarter this time: while Tits McEdge chased me down from behind I guess she sent her lackeys out to block my escape routes. Seemed every other street, one or the other was blocking an exit. And soon enough, they caught me. I turned onto a street only to find myself blocked in by Maid in China and Angst Incarnate. A glance over my shoulder is enough to confirm that Coldsteel has closed off my other escape route, the chick actually laughing like one of those anime antagonistas.
“Nowhere to run now, bug,” she taunts me as she closes in. “Just die already.”
“Ok, firsst off,” I reply as I scan for any possible salvation in this situation, “RUDE.”
I spot an alleyway nearby, far too thin to walk down normally, but...
“Ssecondly, shouldn't you be ssitting in some dark corner brooding?”
Okay, THAT pissed her off. She lunges for me, and that's when I take my chance. I crouch slightly, my legs bending outwards as I raise my arms and make a claw with my remaining hand. With all the agility of a frightened crab escaping an angry Jamaican, I scuttle sideways into the alleyway, letting loose a hearty “Woop woop woop-woop-woop!!” as I go. It's a good thing they cut off my tail, cuz I wouldn't have fit otherwise. An angered shout from the other road is my confirmation that the plan was a success... at least for now. Time to get back to running!
Quote:797 Words according to Open Office.
Cell insults Jak and Tamsin, dealing 90 Self-Esteem Damage.
Cell distracts Erika with the joy of nostalgic gaming and skedaddles away.
Erika and the crew wise up and use tactics to trap me on a street, but I Zoidberg my happy ass through a narrow alley and get back to escaping.
![[Image: Jacksig.png]](http://www.cytokineindustries.com/chevereto/images/2018/04/13/Jacksig.png)