Getting Too Deep With Reasoning

[Gamzee Makara]

I feel like one of the only reasons I excel at and enjoy writing Gamzee is because I rarely ever feel comfortable or any level of self confidence unless I'm intoxicated or under some sort of influence.

As a writer, I enjoy writing his moments of sobriety for the sake of a scene, development, etc etc. But as a person, I hate it. I hate depicting him as a psychotic, sadistic, masochistic person, because I really hope that's not who Gamzee actually is. I really hope he's just a fun loving goofball of an alien. I really hope he doesnt need some sort of soporific substance to keep him that way.

And even more than that, I really hope I don't ever feel the need to be high to be happy with who I am. I really hope I don't need alcohol or weed or whatever to not be an anxious, awkward mess.

I really hope a lot of things, man. Writing is pretty cathartic for me, especially when I can relate to a character. Maybe not the "kill all my friends while sober" aspect of Gamzee, but more of the "fear of being a better person while under the influence" part.

Hope that wasnt too edgy or self deprecating. If it was feel free to slap me ;*