Quote:I'm choosing to nave Red not remember the Omni meeting. That's why it's not included.
You're probably wondering how I got here, and there's a totally legit explanation: I have no fucking clue.
Previously, I was in the midst of completely destroying a bug catcher kid. We met in a forest (the only place those fuckers seem to hang, like emo kids loitering Hot Topic) somewhere between Viridian and Pewter. He wore the typical “I like bugs” outfit—khaki shorts, older brother's loose tank-top, and one of those stupid ass hats—while hiding behind a tree.
Dude probably assumed I didn't see him, but I did; I walked passed his dumbass on purpose, because I knew it would entice him to challenge me. Little known fact: I already had seven gym badges—that's right, I bucked the goddamn system, got them out of order (Hollywood will probably create a vaguely accurate movie about my success, replacing my name with some retarded condiment pun).
I took a sadistic pleasure in torturing his line-up. Each Metapod he called upon to fight on his behalf received the punishment of my Charizard. I specifically ordered my servant to roast them with his tail flame; the helpless fellows all tried to harden, but slowly bubbled like marshmallows until showcasing those familiar 'X' eyes.
Bug catcher Tony (I think? Who cares, he was bug catcher my bitch currently) began quivering like the frigid pussy he was. His eyes were all bold, and glossy—it was a mixture of fright and disbelief. I guess his theory of Metapods being the best Pokemon had been proven wrong that day.
It was the perfect opportunity to add insult to injury. “Suck my nuts, bug boy,” I shouted.
I opened my flap to say more, but a weird sensation started to claw at my brain. Then I whited out.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
When I regained consciousness, my surroundings were vastly different. Regardless of which direction I turned my head, my eyes caught the same scenery of empty white plains, which extended as far as my vision permitted; if not for a small contrast in shade, rimming the horizon, the sky could have seamlessly blended into the earth.
Was this heaven? Couldn't be. I didn't have a doctrine in religion, but even a retard could tell you my ass had no business in a place like heaven . . . at least not the biblical version. Hell, perhaps? Not enough people doing meth and practicing sodomy. No people at all, actually.
I was alone.