07-01-2017, 01:32 AM
“We need to head south,” I muttered, popping open a cabinet and scanning the shelves. Spam, baked beans, potato flakes. I closed the door on the world’s worst breakfast and turned back to my companions. “Like, yesterday.”
“No, we don’t,” Cell replied, rubbing his good eye. “What possible reason would we have to go there?”
“Maybe you should ask yourself that question,” I snapped, leering at the humanoid bug.
“Look, I needed that gin worsse than you did, buddy,” the one-eyed roach asserted. “My f-UUUCKing hand iss practically a wad of usslesss meat. I need ssomething to kill the pain.”
“And I’m just skipping on this fucked knee of mine,” I said bitterly, rubbing the bloodied joint. Given, I didn’t exactly have the high-ground in terms of Most Pitiful Injury, but still.
“ZEDD!”
I looked away from Cell just in time to see Graw shoot off like an azure torpedo toward the open doorway, colliding with a familiar-looking person. The bubblegum abomination struck him with enough force to knock the pair back through the doorway and onto the waterlogged earth.
“Remove yourself from me, ridiculous creature!” The visored man managed to, with difficulty, raise himself to stand, despite Graw’s aggressively friendly bear hug. “RELEASE ME.”
“Aw man, Zedd, I’m SO glad to see you again,” the gummy gal said, beaming. “You did a really good job up there in the Colosseum. You won, right?!”
“My conquest of the levitating arena was successful,” the chrome-plated man replied, finally shaking Graw off and holding a Z-topped staff at her chest to allow him some breathing room.
“And I thought I looked terrifying,” Cell muttered in my ear, his polar bear eye twitching as he sized up Zedd. “He doessn’t...have sskin, doess he?”
A cringed at the comment, noting that he, indeed, seemed to be without dermis. “No, I don’t think he does. I can’t tell if that’s horrific or awesome. Or horrifically awesome.” I shook the thought from my head. “So, terrifying skinless chome man. Wanna hang with us?”
Zedd turned his attention from Graw, who had at last settled on merely grinning at the rest of the group with an almost vacant look. “Feeble humans and strange bug men are not my first choice in companions, but I am acquainted with this creature,” he growled, jabbing the blue woman’s shoulder with his staff. “As she regards you two as allies, I will likewise. For now.”
“Capital,” I responded, taking out my tablet. “I say we head south toward the resort and get some REAL food.” I zoomed in on the area in question and set a marker. “Hopefully that creepy asshole and his handmaid won’t be lurking around.”
“Fine,” Cell sighed, “we’ll get you your liquid lunch if it’ll shut you up.”
“No, we don’t,” Cell replied, rubbing his good eye. “What possible reason would we have to go there?”
“Maybe you should ask yourself that question,” I snapped, leering at the humanoid bug.
“Look, I needed that gin worsse than you did, buddy,” the one-eyed roach asserted. “My f-UUUCKing hand iss practically a wad of usslesss meat. I need ssomething to kill the pain.”
“And I’m just skipping on this fucked knee of mine,” I said bitterly, rubbing the bloodied joint. Given, I didn’t exactly have the high-ground in terms of Most Pitiful Injury, but still.
“ZEDD!”
I looked away from Cell just in time to see Graw shoot off like an azure torpedo toward the open doorway, colliding with a familiar-looking person. The bubblegum abomination struck him with enough force to knock the pair back through the doorway and onto the waterlogged earth.
“Remove yourself from me, ridiculous creature!” The visored man managed to, with difficulty, raise himself to stand, despite Graw’s aggressively friendly bear hug. “RELEASE ME.”
“Aw man, Zedd, I’m SO glad to see you again,” the gummy gal said, beaming. “You did a really good job up there in the Colosseum. You won, right?!”
“My conquest of the levitating arena was successful,” the chrome-plated man replied, finally shaking Graw off and holding a Z-topped staff at her chest to allow him some breathing room.
“And I thought I looked terrifying,” Cell muttered in my ear, his polar bear eye twitching as he sized up Zedd. “He doessn’t...have sskin, doess he?”
A cringed at the comment, noting that he, indeed, seemed to be without dermis. “No, I don’t think he does. I can’t tell if that’s horrific or awesome. Or horrifically awesome.” I shook the thought from my head. “So, terrifying skinless chome man. Wanna hang with us?”
Zedd turned his attention from Graw, who had at last settled on merely grinning at the rest of the group with an almost vacant look. “Feeble humans and strange bug men are not my first choice in companions, but I am acquainted with this creature,” he growled, jabbing the blue woman’s shoulder with his staff. “As she regards you two as allies, I will likewise. For now.”
“Capital,” I responded, taking out my tablet. “I say we head south toward the resort and get some REAL food.” I zoomed in on the area in question and set a marker. “Hopefully that creepy asshole and his handmaid won’t be lurking around.”
“Fine,” Cell sighed, “we’ll get you your liquid lunch if it’ll shut you up.”
Quote:Getting back together with Zedd. The horrifically awesome foursome are heading out from Safehouse C to C21.
![[Image: sterling-archer.jpg]](https://hollywoodhatesme.files.wordpress.com/2015/03/sterling-archer.jpg)