The Odd Couple

[Jim Raynor]

The thick stench of rotting flesh surrounded Swann and filled his lungs as he took his first conscious breaths. Almost vomiting from the stink alone, he laboured to his feet, using the curved and spongy wall as a support. A few shafts of light shone into the darkness from far away, but Rory couldn't even see his hand in front of his face. His boots squelched in some slimy, viscous liquid which he surmised had to be either saliva or stomach acid. Since he didn't smell his leather boots dissolving, he was hoping it was saliva.
 
"Karax!" Swann shouted, his voice booming in the fleshy cave. "Where the hell are you?"
 
Two balls of blue ice coalesced from the dark. <Rory Swann. I am here. Have you sustained any injuries?>
 
"I'm in a friggin' giant worm!" he yelled. "What does it matter?"
 
<Calm down,> Karax said as the balls of blue hovered higher. <We will find the beacon, disable it and be on our way.>
 
Rory frowned and dropped his jaw. "Be on our way? I don't know if this has escaped ya notice, Karax, but we're in a friggin' giant worm! How the hell do ya think we're gettin' outta here that doesn't involve us gettin' squirted out the back end?"
 
Karax's eyes vanished, then swung into view. <This way. Once the beacon is stopped, we can turn our attention to our escape.>
 
"Well we ain't doin' much of anythin' in the dark." Swann patted his chest until the stout cylinder became obvious through his jacket. He slipped it free and tore the lid off. A blinding white flame bloomed atop the cylinder, gradually cooling to fill the intestines of the worm in red-white light. Swann grasped the flare with his claw and held it up.
 
Karax's crimson body took the lead, his two-toed feet splashing in worm fluids. Swann traipsed past splintered crates and twisted chunks of steel and concrete. Damp sand clung to his boots; unsurprisingly the colossal burrower ingested mounds of the stuff when it feasted. Swann pinched his nostrils as he passed by a ruby hunk of meat.
 
"We gettin' close?" Swann said.
 
<Very.>
 
Karax stopped and knelt in the disgusting worm water. He plunged his bony fingers into the dark with a splash and jostled around.
 
"Ugh. Hope you're diggin' for the beacon. Don't think the stink'll be off ya hand for a month."
 
The protoss phase-smith plucked a curved disc from the muck. A pale blue light blinked on its apex. <Here it is. The beacon.> Karax pressed the light and it extinguished. <My duty is done.>
 
"Great. Now how about a way outta here?" Swann said.
 
Karax deposited the distress beacon on his person, still kneeling, and picked up a grimy crystal. <More khaydarin crystals.> He looked further into the gloom. <Move closer, Rory Swann.>
 
The light of the flare advanced down the worm's insides and glinted in the crystals that peppered the viewable area. They pooled around a steel plinth with curved arms rising from the base.
 
"What am I lookin' at here, Karax?" Swann asked.
 
<A portable protoss teleportation device,> Karax said, moving closer. He ran his fingers along the plinth.
 
"It don't look too portable to me. Has it been used?"
 
<I believe so. Though I can't tell by who or when.>
 
"Can we get outta here with it?"
 
Karax poked the metal base and retracted his hand as if he put his finger in the mouth of a zergling. <Yes. The khaydarin crystals here should be enough to fuel our ->
 
The fleshy walls rumbled. Pallid green liquid oozed out and dripped from the rounded ceiling.
 
"The hell is that?" Swann said.
 
A droplet spattered on a nearby piece of metal and ate through it entirely.
 
<Digestive juices,> Karax said.
 
More leaked just north of Swann's boot, hissing on impact.
 
"Then get that thing activated and let's get outta here!"
 
Karax bent down and scuttled around the base of the plinth like a crab, his fingers moving like he was typing on a keyboard. Swann swung his head around, hopping out of the way of the falling acid as it rained down upon him. The walls pulsed and throbbed as more of the digestive enzymes pumped out, faster and faster until they were slick and shiny in the flare's light.
 
"Karax! It's gettin' wetter in here by the second! You worked it out yet?"
 
The floor of khaydarin crystals lit up like stars and the curved arms spun around the plinth. Fingers of electricity zapped from the arms' apex and into the centre. The air shimmered at the collisions, showing a desert image that waved like ripples in a pond.
 
<Now, Rory Swann! Jump through the portal! The khaydarin crystals are almost completely drained!>
 
"Ya don't have to tell me twice!"
 
Swann scampered through the sizzling rain and hurled himself at the portal. He collapsed on the dusty ground, the sun blazing in the naked sky. Scrambling to his feet, Swann turned back to the rip in space time to see Karax tumble through. The portal flickered once or twice and shrunk into itself.
 
"Hey, it worked!"
 
<As I thought it would.>
 
Swann turned his attention ahead of him. Nothing but golden valleys of sand greeted him. His throat tightened.
 
"Uh ... while I'm grateful we're outta the worm and all ... you have any idea where we ended up? Looks like we're kinda ... far from home."
 
"Not as far as you think, buddy."
 
Swann spun his head. Buildings filled his vision; the tavern, Sheriff Roland's office ... and Jim Raynor.
 
"Cowboy!" Swann yelled. "We made it back!"
 
Karax's eyes crinkled. <Of course, Rory Swann. I calibrated the teleporter to take us home. Apologies for the misdirection.>
 
"Come on, Swann," Jim said, beckoning him towards the tavern. "Bet you got a whole mess'a stories to tell me."
 
"Oh, the things I've seen, cowboy," Swann said, flicking a globule of worm saliva from his boot. "The things I've seen."