06-25-2017, 10:09 AM
“Fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck-fuck!'” I exclaim, the familiar burn of electricity all but forgotten under a wash of adrenaline and pain. And here I thought we were gonna have a nice, easy time slapping around Joel and Ellie. But, NOPE! Dude's played us hard and now me and my caucasian pal are stuck dodging a veritable downpour of laser blasts. Well, TRYING to, at least. Individually, the crystals ain't much more than annoying, but together they're huge pains in my tail.
Soooo, right now we are getting fucked worse than Karl at the Dante's Abyss after-party. We gotta get into some cover like yesterday. An idea comes to me and I grab hold of Archer's belt in one green hand and grin.
“Tighten your ssphincter, pal!”
“Wait... wha-AAAAAAAA!” my pal exclaims as I kick it into overdrive, crossing the rocky beach in a blur, making a bee-line for the copse of trees nearby. Sure, the Boogey Man and Conny the Bra-barian are over there, but so is relative safety from the laser-shooting prisms dick-weed summoned to attack us.
Brambles explode outward in a shower as I crash through shrubbery lining the treeline, and my perception grinds to a crawl. My head turns, my one good eye catching sight of ol’ Blacky (I swear I'm not racist) and his Generic Fantasy pal. Ki coalesces in my free hand, a sinister smirk twisting my beak.
Suddenly, face full of tree!
“Ow! Goddamit!” I shriek, holding my beak and growling. “Fuucking depth precception!”
Sonuvabitch… so now, not only am I missing an eye, but the bitch put a knife in my face and my viridian blood is obscuring my vision. I can't fight like this. Archer groans on the ground next to me. Fortunately, he avoided smashing into anything, but the fall to the ground wasn't kind to him. Even less kind is the fact that the prisms are STILL shooting at us. Apparently FUCKING TREES ain't shit to these things, their beams tearing holes through the foliage.
“Uh... they're literally SHOOTING THROUGH THE TREES!” my pal, shouts scrambling to his feet.
“I KNOW!!” I reply in frustration.
“Okay! Time for Plan B,” I interject.
“...What's Plan B?” Archer asks nervously.
“Improvisse!”
I wrap my tail around his waist, hoisting him (with quite some effort, I might add) onto my back as I assume a quadrupedal gait.
“Fuuck! How much do you weigh, Lard-Ass?” I grunt irritably.
With a wry grin, Archer retorts, “I'll have you know that I'm a lean, trim American machine, buddy.”
“Yeah, and I'm NOT a weird bug-man.”
“Shut up, man! That kinda thing could hurt a guy's feelings!”
“Fuck your feelin-”
I'm cut short not by the tingle of electrical energy passing through me, but by the sudden appearance of a bitch-ass crystal. For his part, Archer shoots me a glare while the black dodecahedron shoots him a burning blast of light. I literally leap into action, the attack singing the spy's gorgeous brown hair instead of putting a hole in his skull.
“Ha! Natural one, biiiiitch!” I screech in triumph.
“Huh?”
“Nothing. It'ss a nerd thing. You wouldn't undersstand.”
Archer let's it go and asks the super obvious question, “So... your plan is to let me ride you? I mean, that's cool and all, but at least buy a guy dinner first.”
“Look pal,” I begin, weaving to and fro through the sparse (and quickly growing sparser) stand of trees. “Right now, my vission is proper fuuucked. And you're sslower than Goku adding two and two. Sso, ass much ass I hate to ssay it, yess. I need you to ride me. Those aaaaasssholess think they got ssome dope teamwork? Well, wait til they ssee thiss shit!”
We burst from the trees back out onto the beach like some bad-ass white knight. Except, you know… I'm not a horse and Archer definitely ain't no knight. Secret Agent Fatso is slowing me down, but I'm still pushing as hard as I can. Can't keep it up for long though. The strain is killing me.
“Cover me!” I shout to Archer. Dual machine guns spring into existence in his hands, the dude laying down suppressive fire on the floating crystals. They might just be some kinda magical rock, but they're smart enough take evasive action under the downpour of lead.
“I take it back!” Archer says gleefully. “You can let me ride you any time!”
Unfortunately, I don't have time to join him in his revelry. I spot our foes again, barely visible through the murky blood clouding my vision. Time to end this. Crouching so that I can use my hands without bucking my partner, I hold my hands out to the sides and gather ki in each palm. Bringing them together, I launch my attack.
“FINAL FLASH!!!”
Soooo, right now we are getting fucked worse than Karl at the Dante's Abyss after-party. We gotta get into some cover like yesterday. An idea comes to me and I grab hold of Archer's belt in one green hand and grin.
“Tighten your ssphincter, pal!”
“Wait... wha-AAAAAAAA!” my pal exclaims as I kick it into overdrive, crossing the rocky beach in a blur, making a bee-line for the copse of trees nearby. Sure, the Boogey Man and Conny the Bra-barian are over there, but so is relative safety from the laser-shooting prisms dick-weed summoned to attack us.
Brambles explode outward in a shower as I crash through shrubbery lining the treeline, and my perception grinds to a crawl. My head turns, my one good eye catching sight of ol’ Blacky (I swear I'm not racist) and his Generic Fantasy pal. Ki coalesces in my free hand, a sinister smirk twisting my beak.
Suddenly, face full of tree!
“Ow! Goddamit!” I shriek, holding my beak and growling. “Fuucking depth precception!”
Sonuvabitch… so now, not only am I missing an eye, but the bitch put a knife in my face and my viridian blood is obscuring my vision. I can't fight like this. Archer groans on the ground next to me. Fortunately, he avoided smashing into anything, but the fall to the ground wasn't kind to him. Even less kind is the fact that the prisms are STILL shooting at us. Apparently FUCKING TREES ain't shit to these things, their beams tearing holes through the foliage.
“Uh... they're literally SHOOTING THROUGH THE TREES!” my pal, shouts scrambling to his feet.
“I KNOW!!” I reply in frustration.
“Okay! Time for Plan B,” I interject.
“...What's Plan B?” Archer asks nervously.
“Improvisse!”
I wrap my tail around his waist, hoisting him (with quite some effort, I might add) onto my back as I assume a quadrupedal gait.
“Fuuck! How much do you weigh, Lard-Ass?” I grunt irritably.
With a wry grin, Archer retorts, “I'll have you know that I'm a lean, trim American machine, buddy.”
“Yeah, and I'm NOT a weird bug-man.”
“Shut up, man! That kinda thing could hurt a guy's feelings!”
“Fuck your feelin-”
I'm cut short not by the tingle of electrical energy passing through me, but by the sudden appearance of a bitch-ass crystal. For his part, Archer shoots me a glare while the black dodecahedron shoots him a burning blast of light. I literally leap into action, the attack singing the spy's gorgeous brown hair instead of putting a hole in his skull.
“Ha! Natural one, biiiiitch!” I screech in triumph.
“Huh?”
“Nothing. It'ss a nerd thing. You wouldn't undersstand.”
Archer let's it go and asks the super obvious question, “So... your plan is to let me ride you? I mean, that's cool and all, but at least buy a guy dinner first.”
“Look pal,” I begin, weaving to and fro through the sparse (and quickly growing sparser) stand of trees. “Right now, my vission is proper fuuucked. And you're sslower than Goku adding two and two. Sso, ass much ass I hate to ssay it, yess. I need you to ride me. Those aaaaasssholess think they got ssome dope teamwork? Well, wait til they ssee thiss shit!”
We burst from the trees back out onto the beach like some bad-ass white knight. Except, you know… I'm not a horse and Archer definitely ain't no knight. Secret Agent Fatso is slowing me down, but I'm still pushing as hard as I can. Can't keep it up for long though. The strain is killing me.
“Cover me!” I shout to Archer. Dual machine guns spring into existence in his hands, the dude laying down suppressive fire on the floating crystals. They might just be some kinda magical rock, but they're smart enough take evasive action under the downpour of lead.
“I take it back!” Archer says gleefully. “You can let me ride you any time!”
Unfortunately, I don't have time to join him in his revelry. I spot our foes again, barely visible through the murky blood clouding my vision. Time to end this. Crouching so that I can use my hands without bucking my partner, I hold my hands out to the sides and gather ki in each palm. Bringing them together, I launch my attack.
“FINAL FLASH!!!”
Quote: Somewhere close to 800 Words, according to Google Docs.
Cell used Burst Movement to get the the trees to hide.
Cell TRIED to use a Ki Blast on Tearen, but he used Temporal Jaunt and I was sent into a tree. Cell blames it on poor vision, not knowing the truth.
Cell and Archer are faux-Fusing by letting the dude ride my back.
Burst Movement back into the open since trees are not-laser proof.
Archer summoned 2 MP-40s and is laying suppressive fire on the Aspects of Divinity.
Cell used Tier 1 Super Move: Super Ki Beam on Tearen.
1/2 SP remaining
![[Image: Jacksig.png]](http://www.cytokineindustries.com/chevereto/images/2018/04/13/Jacksig.png)