Zone E -- Highlands

[Sterling Archer]

“Wuzzah...wha’s goin’ on?” I felt my body floating roughly through the air supported by something hard and unsteady across my ribcage. I blinked hard against the water dribbling past my eyes and down the tip of my nose. “What happin’?”

“Oh good, you’re awake,” a raspy voice muttered before I met the ground with a heavy thud. “We’re going for another item.”

I got to my feet uneasily, grabbing at the insectoid leg by my side and using the divots between the scales as fingerholds.

“Ugh, don’t do that. It feelss weird,” Cell muttered, grabbing me by the armpits and hoisting me the rest of the way. “C’mon, no time to wasste, Captain Morgan.”

“That’sh Captain Archer Morgan,” I slurred, ignoring how nonsensical the sentence was. “Just call me Cap’n.” I smiled, imagining myself wearing a large brimmed captain’s hat, knee bent over a large barrel of rum. Delicious rum.

“For f-UUUUCK sake,” the bug replied, forcing me into a slow walk. “I’ll call you Ssuper Ultra Mega General Archer if it keepss you moving. SUMGA.” He paused. “I can’t think of a word that beginss with Y, but trusst me, I tried.”

“Oh shut up,” I said, rubbing my bleary eyes. “God, and here I thought I would blunt my headache a little. Apparently this is not the hair of the particular dog who bit me.” I reached into my cargo pocket and pulled out a couple of miniature bottles of gin. “Maybe these will work…”

“Uh-uh,” Cell snapped, tugging the bottles from my hand and stuffing them into his khakis. “You can have it when we get there.”

“But moooooom!” I whined, pouting as I walked.

“But nothing,” the roach asserted. “Now let’s go before some sshmuck gets there firsst.”

“Fine,” I muttered. “But you’re lucky I’m already drunk otherwise you’d be in BIG trouble.”

“I’m ssure.”

Team Perfect Agents is moving from D2 -> E11