Zone D -- The Foam

[Deadpool]

The ripe heat of the afternoon had mellowed as the sun danced over the eastern mountaintops; clouds chased it, transforming the humidity into a light rain, and casting it over the floodplain. Deadpool thought of #saltbae hovering somewhere in the clouds, rolling droplets down his forearm.

”Rain drop, drop top, making my way to the item drop; give your favorite character a head knot,” the mercenary sang as he emerged from the safehouse.

He reentered the water and began to make his way towards the item drop. He had wrapped the strings of his backpack around his neck to prevent it from being soaked again; the tablet had turned on before while drenched, but it wasn't something he wanted to gamble a second time.

The marshlands had become harder to maneuver in as the day concluded; not because it resisted him any more than before, but because the temperature had dipped. It felt like the water was violating him—one hand tickling his scrotum while the other pinched the head of his penis.

”My money maker is totally going Antman right now. I hope I still have an impressive bulge by the time I get back to solid ground—that's what the viewers really care about.” Deadpool looked up at the sky and winked. ”Right, audience?”

A drone hummed through the sky, glossed in a layer of moisture. The lens on its belly narrowed in on the mercenary, then expanded.

”What's wrong, readers? Thought I was talking about you guys? I don't always break the fourth wall,” he quipped.

Then a brilliant idea blinked in his head: ”Speaking of fourth walls, and audiences..

The mercenary dug a hand into his bag, and shuffled it around until he pulled out a cellphone. He opened the Omnitwitter app, and searched for the hastag 'Dante's Abyss'. An assortment of recent tweets filled the screen, accompanied by a few high-profile people associated with it; Karl headed them, wearing a velvet blazer in his avatar that would have made Prince jealous. The second person was 'GodEnel'.

Who the fuck is this guy? Deadpool extorted. ”He's never been in Dante's Abyss. He must be one of Karl's butt-buddies. I'm gonna give this guy a piece of my mind.

He opened the man's profile and went for the first tweet he could troll.

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Deadpool
Replying to @GodEnel

- LOOK AT MY TITS