Zone D -- The Foam

[Handsome Jack]

In the end, I just can't help myself. I turn the phone back on because having access to this guy's phone is probably going to be WAY more entertaining than any number of dude getting hit in the dick videos. Immediately, I notice he has like three more texts from his Mom. Gonna just ignore those for now, unless I can't find a better way to troll him. And, thank god, I do. The dude ACTUALLY has a Twitter account. I flex the ol' fingers and get ready for some fun.

First tweet out and it's hilarious. Well, in regard to who I'm tweeting as. A few minutes pass and I see I got a reply. I check it and... oh goddamn it. Of, fucking, course the dude is bisexual. Why wouldn't he be? You know what? Fuck this! I start wiping his phone clean. He ain't getting this back. I'm just gonna keep it for myself. He can buy a new one, for all I care. Lessee... block his contacts... check. Delete all his applications (especially Grindr)... check. Aaaaand, since this phone is mine now, I'll make me a new Twitter account. Because, as much as it pains me to have to do those product placements, people NEED to know what perfection is like.

First things first, gotta get me a neat picture and a cool nickname. No one will read my tweets if I look like ol' Stevey boy and have a bad name.Well, no one but my Mom, and she's currently... You know... I'm not sure what's going on with her. I kinda got sucked outta reality. Hope she's doing ok... In any case, 'Cell' was already taken. I mean... how the fuck did THAT happen?

Anyway, after a few minutes I got my Twitter handle all set up and I start hitting the online world with my brilliance and magnificence.

Moving from D3 to C2