Zone D -- The Foam

[Handsome Jack]

Well, well, well... what do we have here? Honestly wasn't expecting THIS, not after all the time I'd been spending walking around without seeing a single other person on this whole damn island. But, lo and behold, I stumbled across some people. Or, rather, they stumbled across me. See, I was busy trying to decide whether getting thorax deep into the ocean was worth grabbing an item over (a dip of my toe into the water had confirmed it was pretty fucking cold), when I saw a couple people heading my way from the south. Weren't more than a couple specks on the horizon when I spotted them, didn't even know if they'd seen me yet. SOOOOOOOOOO, I went ahead and hid myself in the treeline to wait them out.

As they step out onto the shore, I get a better look at them. First one looks like Eighteen took a dip into some blue dye and threw on some Freeza Force duds. Ok then. Second one is basically your stereotypical space dude, robot suit and all. While the chick seemed to be moving pretty well, the guy looked like he'd injured his leg. Or had a dick in his ass. While the former was more likely, I couldn't exactly rule out the latter. I smirk as I watch them move towards my hiding place in the jungle. All I gotta deal with is a girl and an injured man? Easy peasy, living sleazy.

They approach and BAM, I slide out from behind the tree I was hiding behind.

“Boo!”

Dude looks like he's about to, or already has, pissed his space pants. Either someone who's been exposed to too many jumpscares, or a pansy. I write him off and focus on the girl. I spot a flash of recognition in her eyes and it looks like she's gonna say something. Can't let THAT happen. I cut her off quick.

“Firsst rule: no talking.”

This time Spaceman looks ready to say something and I shoot him a glare.

“Shhh! I ssaid no talking. And believe me, you REALLY wanna lissten to me on thiss one.”

He looks to be weighing his options for a second before he closes his mouth. Good boy.

“Sso ssorry to interrupt your couple'ss walk. I know you're eager to get back to ssmoochie timess with the Blueberry Majin over there and she with her Sspace Protagonisst...”

Both of my new companions seem to be hitting that perfect stage of super pissed and confused that I love so much. I continue.

“I promisse I won't take up too much of your time. I jusst need...”

My eyes narrow and I crouch into a predatory stance.

“The item you picked up on the island. You two hand it over all nicce and eassy and I'll be on my way. Put up a fight... and I'll drink you both,” I say with a chuckle.

Do they actually even have an item? Fuck if I know. But they're coming from the right direction. And if they don't... well, at least I have a good meal.

Challenging Future Warrior and Isaac for the Item Drop FW has. If they let me have it, consider the Challenge void.