06-15-2017, 03:40 AM
(06-09-2017, 12:47 PM)Harlan Higgs Wrote: I have a batch of conceptual supers that I think need some peer review.
Tier 1 Utility: Mayaparitsatya
Concentrating the full force of his chimerical might, Harlan brings a location from his imagination to life. The immediate area surrounding him, up to the size of one city block (1000 square feet), transforms into another environment constructed entirely of realistic illusions. It can be any setting Harlan chooses, typically somewhere cluttered with objects and hiding spaces he can use to take advantage of his Obfuscate ability. Everything feels real and is able to be affected normally, with the exception that attempting to destroy an illusory object makes it burst in a cloud of smoke. This setting cannot include harmful accoutremonts such as traps and lethal objects, although it can be constructed to appear that way.
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Also, would the following move require telepathy or just debuff?
Tier 1 Utility: Lovecraft in Brooklyn
Weaving Tremere Blood Magic and the Malkavian discipline of Dementation into his own chimerical power, Harlan physically touches an opponent's head. He must maintain contact for three seconds or else the move fails. Once the requirement is fulfilled, the opponent immediately experiences a drastic change in their state of mind. They become overwhelmed with paranoia, fear, and suspicion, hallucinating their own personal nightmares and failures. These apparitions will actually appear as fully formed illusions, and act out behaviors that would most unnerve the victim. They have no power to harm and cannot be banished, although each individual manifestation disappears within ten seconds at the most.
If they are fighting with someone, their allies are regarded with just as much suspicion and discontent as Harlan himself, to the point of refusal to fight together.
The altered mental state results in a heavy penalty to TEC and SPD while the victim watches shadows and mumbles justifications to themself. The effects last a full two minutes, after which the debuff and hallucinatory illusions go away but the paranoia and fear remain for another 10 minutes.
Tier 1 Utility: Mayaparitsatya I'm not sure about this one. It sounds like it would have too many possible applications, especially if the illusionary constructs can be destroyed that easily (imagine someone climbing say, a building, then having Harlan destroy it to make them fall). Also, allowing Harlan to shape the illusion in any way he likes... I'm not sure if that's too variable for a single move. Plus, there doesn't seem to be any way to prevent or block the move outside of escaping its area of influence.
But like I said, Super Moves are a complex thing that I have trouble with, so I can't help a lot with it.
You should also note how long it lasts!
Tier 1 Utility: Lovecraft in Brooklyn This one I think is far too powerful for a T1 Super Utility.
-2 minutes of illusions that penalize SPD and TEC plus 10 minutes of paranoia (if I understand correctly, this has no stat debuffs?) is easily going to cover the full duration of 99% of the fights if Harlan successfully uses it right at the beginning.
-Depending on how strong the SPD and TEC penalty is the strength of this utility would be comparable to a Power-Up with just the debuff, but there is more effect on top of that.
-Influencing not only the original user but also their allies makes the move even stronger.
-There is no appearant way to block or "purge" the debuff outside of escaping Harlan's grip before the 3 seconds are up.
I'd probably say that it requires Telepathy since it messes with one's mind. Furthermore, it should be blockable/purgeable by a Super Defense (maybe using one automatically purges the Debuff?), tone down the time (by a lot! Maybe 30 seconds of illusions and 30 seconds of paranoia or something to that effect), note if Harlan expends any SP if his opponent escapes his grip before the 3 seconds are up, and be more specific to how the penalty applies. Does it reduce SPD and TEC by 50%? By a fixed number?
You could also make it a sort of "reverse Power-Up" which expends SP every post to keep up the debuff. This would balance the move somewhat more. But as it is, I don't see it getting approved.
(06-10-2017, 10:13 PM)Cirno Wrote: Snowball (300) (requires ranged proficiency, debuff proficiency)
Cirno will summon a stack of snowballs by her (they stay in battle until all five are used) to make all five it takes aproximatly five seconds to make five. The recharge is about ten seconds. the concentration is about half, and her energy consumption is fairly minor (like making a actual snowball). The snowballs are a couple inches in diameter. They don't really damage but they do cause the person who is hit to be slowed down by 5% (no matter how many is created 5% is the maximum debuff for this move) anyone can use said snowballs on anyone and the effect will apply. The snowballs move at the speed of 15 mph.
Ice aura (300) (requires area attack, ranged proficiency, debuff)
Cirno has a simple ice aura that will passively affect anyone that is within five feet of her. effects are shivering, frostbite (this is prolonged effects of being near her), etc. This aura will slow and damage the person (slowly I might add so a battle over three rounds might rack one or two damage with this move if there a melee fighter) This move has minimal concentration and energy consumption (like breathing easy). The debuff slows anyone down 4-5% while inside also but that slowing stops once someone has left the circle of effect.
Snowball
I bolded a part where you made a writing error!
-When does Cirno start recharging for 10 seconds? After finishing the summoning or after throwing all snowballs?
-Can Cirno summon multiple stacks over time?
-5% and no real damage is very weak! Of course, you can keep it that way if you like but I would say that raising the slow a bit would be no problem.
-How long does the 5% debuff last?
-I don't think that it's permissible to let other people use your move, unless maybe you combine it with Buff proficiency to give it to allies, and bump the cost up to 600.
Ice Aura It should be a little more energy-consuming to use this. And is the aura visible in any way?
(06-10-2017, 10:57 PM)Dante Wrote: Trying to create something different. This weapon has always been unique in Dante's arsenal, and I wanted to see how well I could implement it here. The cost reflects 4 different ways of playing the guitar, plus a melee option. I want to know if there's any details that should be elaborated on or functions that aren't proper.
Nevan - 1500 OM (Requires Physical Strength, Ranged Proficiency, Area Attack, Homing)
A Devil Arm imbued with the power of heavenly electricity. Dante can summon/dismiss this weapon at will with a couple seconds of concentration, but cannot effectively use it in tandem with any other Devil Arm. Though most Devil Arms take the form of a traditional sort of weapon, Nevan instead assumes the form of an electric guitar, standing at 3 feet long. Strung with strands of lightning, the tunes produced by this electric instrument are capable of summoning radical power when played in certain ways.
The guitar abilities can all be used as quickly as Dante can played them, and in rapid succession of each other, but as long as Dante plays we will gradually drain his own stamina. Playing for a whole minute will tire him out too much to keep going, for instance. While Dante uses Nevan in any of these ways, he cannot run, jump, dash, or use any other weapons, requiring a still body and use of both hands.
The guitar abilities are as follows:
- A simple strum of the guitar generates a single electric bat the size of Dante's chest. It instantly flies at the speed of a bird from the head of the instrument towards a target Dante designates, like a homing projectile. The bat will burst in a thunderous shockwave if it is damaged, impacts a target or obstacle, or reaches its maximum range of 20 meters.
- A pluck of the electric strings shoots a short-range burst of lightning, directed from either the head or the neck of Nevan. The bolt is practically instantaneous in its speed, but only reaches out to 5 meters. Additionally, it is unpredictable in its movement, so it will not often hit exactly on the mark Dante points at- if he's aiming for the chest, the bolt might instead hit an arm, leg, head, or even something else entirely.
- Playing a riff on Nevan will begin to generate multiple electric bats, like those from a strum. So long as he plays, Dante can charge up one electric bet per second, up to a maximum of 5. These bats will orbit around Dante as the riff plays, acting as an impromptu barrier against attacks- bats destroyed from attacks will be regenerated if Dante keeps playing the riff. As soon as Dante releases the riff, all currently existing bats home in on a single target, identically to a strum maneuver.
Finally, separate from any of the guitar's features, there is a hidden function in the instrument. Dante can instantly fold the fin of the guitar into a four-pronged scythe, allowing for lightning-charged melee slashes. While in its scythe form, Dante is not limited in his movement, but Nevan cannot perform any of its guitar abilities.
- Dante can grind on the strings to generate harsh reverb, which unleashes a pulse of electricity in a 5-meter spherical area. The attack deals less effective damage than a regular bolt, but produces a shockwave that can force away enemies with weaker defenses.
I would say that the "riff" electrical bats acting as a shield and homing in on an opponent as soon as the riff is finished would need Area Shield, and another 300 added to the total cost. Other than that, I think that the move is okay as it is!
(06-14-2017, 11:31 PM)All Might Wrote: Passing on One For All - 300 OM - Buff Proficiency
All Might gives an ally some of his DNA, with intent to transfer his power to them.
As opposed to My Hero Academia, the effect here is both immediate, and temporary. For about three minutes after taking in All Might's DNA (usually in the form of a plucked hair), the intended recipient will gain some of All Might's powers, specifically, temporary stat increase of 1 in ATK and SPD, as well as temporary use of Burst Movement and Master Super Jump.
The underside of this is that during those three minutes, All Might temporarily loses 1 point of SPD and ATK stats, and will not have access to any of his other moves. In addition he will also be unable to use any of his powers for the duration of those three minutes.
Once his powers and stats have returned at the end of the three, for approximately an hour afterwards he will be exhausted and in pain, which will hamper his ability to fight.
I'm not sure if the stat transfer is okay to use - you'll have to ask Move Approval staff! I also see the issue here that if you use the move you are effectively making yourself unable to participate in the fight for 3 minutes (outside perhaps of incidental moves or punches/kicks, but are still a target. 3 minutes is going to be longer than most fights last.
The one-hour drawback is unnecessarily strong, I think. You can tone it down to a few minutes, or replace it with a less brutal disadvantage. That's your personal choice though, if you want to keep it if you think that it's necessary.
Finally, please add the Powers that you want to transfer to someone else to the move requirements. With that you should be good to go.
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