06-12-2017, 07:31 PM
Tearen shuffled up to the attendant by the massive Fields gate to the Nexus. He could tell that the small man running the desk had drawn the shortest straw in a long bundle to be given this post, of all places. His mind was rife with self-pity and gloom, and as he saw this bedraggled figure walking towards him, the Syntech associate half rolled his eyes. Tearen liked him already.
"Hello, yes, hi. I'd like to enroll please." The Shadow said, smiling quaintly over the lip of his shawl. The Syntech grunt was slightly incredulous, but nothing had happened for the past several hours. A breach in the chilly monotony was welcome.
"Oooooohkay. If you think you're up for it, sure!" the man quipped, sliding a form over his desk to the Prime. For all intents and purposes, the guy looked like a hobo. I mean, most Primes basically WERE hobos, but they usually had laser armor and stuff. Tearen didn't respond as he penned in the token disclaimers and rights-to-broadcast. It was quite liberating to know that he wouldn't be in the Omniverse long enough to suffer whatever downsides had been weasled into the contracts. The legendary Prime slid the paperwork back to the attendant, who let out a long sigh, followed with a sharp sniffle.
"Hokay. Now I just need to conduct a small interview for all the betting and TV spots and stuff. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Name?"
"Tearen Wover. Formerly known as Nealaphh."
"Nealaphh, eh? How is that with a...how uh...do you spell that?"
The Prime said nothing, simply writing the names down on the back of the forms. The Syntech man blinked and drew his mouth thin. Real personality on this one.
"Feel like I've heard that name before."
Tearen mumbled something wry, but inaudible.
"Alright then. How long you been Omni's pet?"
"Eternity."
This was starting to get weird, but the employee was under strict orders to take every answer seriously. Even if they didn't make sense.
"Deee-lightful. Now Mr. Wover, what do you do here in the Omniverse?"
Tearen turned this over in his mind for a moment, then decided to go with what could arguably be called the truth.
"Blogger."
"Sounds interesting! We'll have to find a way to promote your website!" the Syntech man chirpped. Tearen could taste the confusion and indignity wafting out of his mind.
"That won't be necessary." the Shadow said, with a mysterious smile. The Syntech man, who will now be named Bob, hated the smile.
"If you say so. Next...what was your home universe like? Hm? How did you spend your days?"
This was, honestly, a question Tearen didn't have an answer for. The ex-enigma opted for the shortest answer possible.
"Infinite."
Bob smiled softly.
"Your home universe was infinite?"
"Indeed."
"In-deeeeeed." Bob said, scribbling something on his notepad. Thank Karl this was almost over.
"So final question,Tearen. Why join Dante's Abyss?" Bob asked with all the enthusiasm an impending lunch break could generate. A very serious tone fell over the Prime's face and speech.
"I have a grave warning for the people of the Omniverse."
Bob blinked and smiled.
"...OH! OKAY." he half shouted before calming himself.
"The blog uh, just isn't gonna cut it huh?"
"No." Tearen said. The elder Prime nodded towards the swirling Syntech portal. Bob glanced over at the red and blue aperture and laughed nervously.
"Oh! Sure. We're done here. Good luck!" Bob said, giving Tearen one final, saccharine smile. The Prime just waved a hand and proceeded through the gate.
A few minutes later, Bob got out his phone and opened up a search query on the Dataverse for Nealaphh.
"Ooooooooohh...myyyyy...god."
"Hello, yes, hi. I'd like to enroll please." The Shadow said, smiling quaintly over the lip of his shawl. The Syntech grunt was slightly incredulous, but nothing had happened for the past several hours. A breach in the chilly monotony was welcome.
"Oooooohkay. If you think you're up for it, sure!" the man quipped, sliding a form over his desk to the Prime. For all intents and purposes, the guy looked like a hobo. I mean, most Primes basically WERE hobos, but they usually had laser armor and stuff. Tearen didn't respond as he penned in the token disclaimers and rights-to-broadcast. It was quite liberating to know that he wouldn't be in the Omniverse long enough to suffer whatever downsides had been weasled into the contracts. The legendary Prime slid the paperwork back to the attendant, who let out a long sigh, followed with a sharp sniffle.
"Hokay. Now I just need to conduct a small interview for all the betting and TV spots and stuff. Okay?"
"Okay."
"Name?"
"Tearen Wover. Formerly known as Nealaphh."
"Nealaphh, eh? How is that with a...how uh...do you spell that?"
The Prime said nothing, simply writing the names down on the back of the forms. The Syntech man blinked and drew his mouth thin. Real personality on this one.
"Feel like I've heard that name before."
Tearen mumbled something wry, but inaudible.
"Alright then. How long you been Omni's pet?"
"Eternity."
This was starting to get weird, but the employee was under strict orders to take every answer seriously. Even if they didn't make sense.
"Deee-lightful. Now Mr. Wover, what do you do here in the Omniverse?"
Tearen turned this over in his mind for a moment, then decided to go with what could arguably be called the truth.
"Blogger."
"Sounds interesting! We'll have to find a way to promote your website!" the Syntech man chirpped. Tearen could taste the confusion and indignity wafting out of his mind.
"That won't be necessary." the Shadow said, with a mysterious smile. The Syntech man, who will now be named Bob, hated the smile.
"If you say so. Next...what was your home universe like? Hm? How did you spend your days?"
This was, honestly, a question Tearen didn't have an answer for. The ex-enigma opted for the shortest answer possible.
"Infinite."
Bob smiled softly.
"Your home universe was infinite?"
"Indeed."
"In-deeeeeed." Bob said, scribbling something on his notepad. Thank Karl this was almost over.
"So final question,Tearen. Why join Dante's Abyss?" Bob asked with all the enthusiasm an impending lunch break could generate. A very serious tone fell over the Prime's face and speech.
"I have a grave warning for the people of the Omniverse."
Bob blinked and smiled.
"...OH! OKAY." he half shouted before calming himself.
"The blog uh, just isn't gonna cut it huh?"
"No." Tearen said. The elder Prime nodded towards the swirling Syntech portal. Bob glanced over at the red and blue aperture and laughed nervously.
"Oh! Sure. We're done here. Good luck!" Bob said, giving Tearen one final, saccharine smile. The Prime just waved a hand and proceeded through the gate.
A few minutes later, Bob got out his phone and opened up a search query on the Dataverse for Nealaphh.
"Ooooooooohh...myyyyy...god."
And, we dream of home I dream of life out of here Their dreams are small My dreams don't know fear I got my heart full of hope I will change everything No matter what I'm told How impossible it seems We did it before And we'll do it again We're indestructible Even when we're tired And we've been here before Just you and I
Don't try to rescue me I don't need to be rescued
Don't try to rescue me I don't need to be rescued