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[Deadpool]

Darkshire

That time of the year again. That time when asses tightened, and sweat lathered palms. Dante's Abyss was not for the faint of heart. It served the purpose of satisfying those with a passion for competition, blood, or chose chaos as a form of therapy.

Deadpool fell into none of those categories, yet all of them simultaneously. This year, his motivation was parted from the usual yearn for excitement. What drove him were the sour memories of past failures. They tasted like Chumbucket leftovers. Two years prior, withering away and severely injured, he dragged himself to the finale; he gave Mickey, Sasuke, and helmet-head all they could handle, nearly killing each of them. Last year, Vincent's pet animal trumped him for Karl's reward (he was pretty sure the damn aeon-mutt thing wasn't even a real main character, but rather one of Vinny's NPC slots)—a sting to his robust ego.

Though he doubted his author's ability to consistently produce enough material for him to succeed this year, he'd be damned if he didn't try.

He rushed through the application, eager to hand it back to the attendant.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Name: Wade Winslow Wilson

Time in Omniverse: Longer than Karl

Occupation: (Unemployed) Mercenary

Pre-Omniverse Life: See above, then add more sex, drugs, and entertainment

Purpose for Joining: For the luls. Its always for the luls.

Extra/Misc.: [b]I enjoy long walks on the beack (without zombies or pokemon), and quiet evenings at home eating tomato puree, while watching The Magic School Bus reruns.


[/b]

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

[b]”Finished!” the mercenary said, catching the woman's green eyes.

He slid the pen clip clamping the paper, and power walked over to the registry counter, his boots clapping against the hard floor. The lady reached a freshly manicured hand—soft pink nail polish, with a glaze of glitter— over the counter to receive the clipboard. She moved a chunk of brown bangs behind her ear and glared the application over.

“H-how did you write your answers in bold text font with a ballpoint pen?” she stammered, looking at him with the visage of a woman realizing the Adam&Eve sex toy she had delivered from Amazon was way too big

”It woulda been in red, if not for that prepubescent humanoid glowstick you call a God didn't restrict me from doing it,” Deadpool quipped.