06-30-2018, 11:42 PM
(This post was last modified: 07-01-2018, 08:42 AM by Wyatt the Swift.)
I award the Participation bonus to all participants
I award the EXCEPTIONAL Bonus to this thread.
Trixie OM Earned - 1635.65
Android 17 OM Earned - 1631.37
Overall: What an amazing quest. You two write amazingly together, and effortlessly weave plot and description together. Getting Trixie and 17 into formal wear and a formal situation was priceless, and you both wrote it extremely well. The battle was one of the most epic I have seen in the OV. The bounds of the quest were constricting, but you two made in unique and memorable.
TRIXIE
Mechanics: Immaculate
Plot/Pacing: You effortlessly tied in Trixie’s previous plot and characters into this story, and her future plot as well. It was clearly very well thought-out. Your pacing is slower than 17’s, leaning kind of slow in general, but it is absolutely necessary for your style. Overall it was a beautful way to weave Trixie’s plot. The flashback as a story was perfect.
Characterization: In this thread we get to see an important side of Trixie. We get to see both why she is who she is, as well as a glimpse behind the mask. We get to see her struggle about her allegiance, are kind of led towards a hope of her breaking free from her chains, but in the end the chains only grow heavier. You really brought Nova and Aisha to life and got the reader invested in them. And the Diablo posts are AMAZING.
Aesthetic/Creativity: Gliding back and forth between the formal setting and the action seemed very natural. The vibe was great, especially when Nova and Trixie are together. The fight with the tank was truly epic, and honestly the entire fight was out of this world.
Style: You used a ‘novel-style’ writing that I personally find very difficult. You did not shy away from expressing character’s feelings and inner thoughts, refusing to let the thread read like a movie and instead read like a book. This style of writing has a high ceiling, but you take that risk and make it work. I also like how well you keep track of your characters, their motivations and feelings.
ANDROID 17
Mechanics: Almost immaculate, with minor errors that anyone could make.
Plot/Pacing: Your pacing is fluid, like you zoom into some situations and zoom out of others. I think it works sometimes, like in the militarized battle posts when you zoom in to minute combat details, but I would have liked to see that kind of stuff in the pre-battle as well (outfit selection excluded).
Characterization: You handled the NPCs amazingly. 17 is one of the most readable characters I’ve ever read. His casual writing style and take-no-bullshit attitude make him a harsh edge in the posh social scene. The action was likewise filtered through his character, from his concern over the NPCs to the military-style analysis.
Aesthetic/Creativity: This is where you shined the most I think. The aesthetic is hard to pin down, but android-17 fits so naturally into the military/sci-fi/war drama.
Style: You used a style that can only be described as ‘casual’ and you did it very well. You let your characters attitude filter the narration in a very satisfying and readable way. Despite having such a encouraging style, you still manage to pack in action and drama and character development, and none of it seems forced or contrived.
Writing Chemistry - Off the charts, and the final tipping point towards why the thread received an EXCEPTIONAL bonus. Your writing styles compliment each other perfectly, PERFECTLY I say, and even with wildly different styles and NPCs zooming around, you both manage to keep the story on pace and advancing logically from the posts before it.
Tips: Was going to do this section for each of you, but I have the same advice; consider leaving more things on the cutting room floor. There are LOTS of reasons to write about a ‘thing’; it pushes the plot forward, it gets you invested in the characters, maybe it’s just something cool. The best ‘things’ do all this at once. When 17 saves nova from the fire, he is doing all these things at once. When Trixie fights Praxida, it does this. The thread was a little bulky overall.
----Wyatt Edit---
I award the EXCEPTIONAL Bonus to this thread.
Trixie OM Earned - 1635.65
Android 17 OM Earned - 1631.37
Overall: What an amazing quest. You two write amazingly together, and effortlessly weave plot and description together. Getting Trixie and 17 into formal wear and a formal situation was priceless, and you both wrote it extremely well. The battle was one of the most epic I have seen in the OV. The bounds of the quest were constricting, but you two made in unique and memorable.
TRIXIE
Mechanics: Immaculate
Plot/Pacing: You effortlessly tied in Trixie’s previous plot and characters into this story, and her future plot as well. It was clearly very well thought-out. Your pacing is slower than 17’s, leaning kind of slow in general, but it is absolutely necessary for your style. Overall it was a beautful way to weave Trixie’s plot. The flashback as a story was perfect.
Characterization: In this thread we get to see an important side of Trixie. We get to see both why she is who she is, as well as a glimpse behind the mask. We get to see her struggle about her allegiance, are kind of led towards a hope of her breaking free from her chains, but in the end the chains only grow heavier. You really brought Nova and Aisha to life and got the reader invested in them. And the Diablo posts are AMAZING.
Aesthetic/Creativity: Gliding back and forth between the formal setting and the action seemed very natural. The vibe was great, especially when Nova and Trixie are together. The fight with the tank was truly epic, and honestly the entire fight was out of this world.
Style: You used a ‘novel-style’ writing that I personally find very difficult. You did not shy away from expressing character’s feelings and inner thoughts, refusing to let the thread read like a movie and instead read like a book. This style of writing has a high ceiling, but you take that risk and make it work. I also like how well you keep track of your characters, their motivations and feelings.
ANDROID 17
Mechanics: Almost immaculate, with minor errors that anyone could make.
Plot/Pacing: Your pacing is fluid, like you zoom into some situations and zoom out of others. I think it works sometimes, like in the militarized battle posts when you zoom in to minute combat details, but I would have liked to see that kind of stuff in the pre-battle as well (outfit selection excluded).
Characterization: You handled the NPCs amazingly. 17 is one of the most readable characters I’ve ever read. His casual writing style and take-no-bullshit attitude make him a harsh edge in the posh social scene. The action was likewise filtered through his character, from his concern over the NPCs to the military-style analysis.
Aesthetic/Creativity: This is where you shined the most I think. The aesthetic is hard to pin down, but android-17 fits so naturally into the military/sci-fi/war drama.
Style: You used a style that can only be described as ‘casual’ and you did it very well. You let your characters attitude filter the narration in a very satisfying and readable way. Despite having such a encouraging style, you still manage to pack in action and drama and character development, and none of it seems forced or contrived.
Writing Chemistry - Off the charts, and the final tipping point towards why the thread received an EXCEPTIONAL bonus. Your writing styles compliment each other perfectly, PERFECTLY I say, and even with wildly different styles and NPCs zooming around, you both manage to keep the story on pace and advancing logically from the posts before it.
Tips: Was going to do this section for each of you, but I have the same advice; consider leaving more things on the cutting room floor. There are LOTS of reasons to write about a ‘thing’; it pushes the plot forward, it gets you invested in the characters, maybe it’s just something cool. The best ‘things’ do all this at once. When 17 saves nova from the fire, he is doing all these things at once. When Trixie fights Praxida, it does this. The thread was a little bulky overall.
----Wyatt Edit---