12-09-2014, 01:12 PM
First off welcome to the site and all that. Just a few things to fix up:
For his physical appearance - since he is an original - some more would be appreciated. Things like height, weight, hair color and style. Think of it from an outsider's perspective, how would someone else describe his looks?
Sresveltr - As this seems to be a variable Move to me it will be priced at 600 OM and not 300 (two complete different weapons). Additionally, some description of what both the scythe form and Odachi form look like is needed. These descriptions are more for other people to understand your character, as I am sure you know what his weapons and powers look like.
Abyss - What do the grabbing hands do? If they hold them in place for example, that would require the Debuff Proficiency as well. If they are not being directly 'aimed' which requires his focus, you would also need the Homing Proficiency. Additionally if he steps away from the pool does it disappear? If it doesn't controlling it would require the Remote Control and Ranged Proficiencies.
Regarding the pool itself, what's its diameter, and can it only be created underneath him? Lastly just how draining is this - can it be cast in quick succession after a prior use or is it something more powerful and likely to take both time and energy?
Flame Form I - Just be aware that the barrier will only really be able to absorb one really strong hit before it needs to be reformed again. For balance reasons, the more area that is shielded the weaker the overall barrier is. The only real questions I have is if he is capable of moving with this barrier in place around him? And, how long of a cool-down period does this have? If he just conjured the barrier - then it dispersed - would he be unable to do so for a few minutes?
For his physical appearance - since he is an original - some more would be appreciated. Things like height, weight, hair color and style. Think of it from an outsider's perspective, how would someone else describe his looks?
Sresveltr - As this seems to be a variable Move to me it will be priced at 600 OM and not 300 (two complete different weapons). Additionally, some description of what both the scythe form and Odachi form look like is needed. These descriptions are more for other people to understand your character, as I am sure you know what his weapons and powers look like.
Abyss - What do the grabbing hands do? If they hold them in place for example, that would require the Debuff Proficiency as well. If they are not being directly 'aimed' which requires his focus, you would also need the Homing Proficiency. Additionally if he steps away from the pool does it disappear? If it doesn't controlling it would require the Remote Control and Ranged Proficiencies.
Regarding the pool itself, what's its diameter, and can it only be created underneath him? Lastly just how draining is this - can it be cast in quick succession after a prior use or is it something more powerful and likely to take both time and energy?
Flame Form I - Just be aware that the barrier will only really be able to absorb one really strong hit before it needs to be reformed again. For balance reasons, the more area that is shielded the weaker the overall barrier is. The only real questions I have is if he is capable of moving with this barrier in place around him? And, how long of a cool-down period does this have? If he just conjured the barrier - then it dispersed - would he be unable to do so for a few minutes?
![[Image: SarahKerrigan_sig199_zpswcfeq7fe.png]](http://i936.photobucket.com/albums/ad202/missfinefeather/SarahKerrigan_sig199_zpswcfeq7fe.png)