Genesis of Apotheosis

[Gamzee Makara]

-Karkat-

I really can't stress enough how embarrassing Gamzee can be in public. I forget that sometimes, especially after prolonged exposure to a Gamzee-less environment. I guess I just expect him to have matured or be a little less Gamzee the next time we see each other and go to places with people. But no, of course not. Still as whimsically full of bullshit as ever. Which is okay, I guess, I've called him friend for this long after all. I can handle a little cringe if Gamzee can handle a little of everything else. I suppose that's fair.

After that maddeningly gratuitous sort of flushed flirting, I silently gather my meal and plop down at the table with whatever sort of swill it is these humans eat. After a cursory glance up at the blue haired human girl, that white haired asshole, and that...one guy, I decide that maybe these guys aren't actually human. Especially that one guy. Gotta keep an eye on that guy. That one guy. Regardless, I stare down at the sustenance I picked out. Some sort of lumpy, mushy substance and a flat, fluffy piece of- ah fuck what did John call this shit? Breb? Brev? Whatever. The cook called it na-aaan or something.

Human foods are weird. I take a bite of the flat fluffy thing. A burst of warmth and mushy sensations explode into my mouth, and it's-

actually pretty good. I'm happy with this na-aa-a-an shit. I dip it in the goop she called krrrry and chomp down. It gives the breb an even warmer, somewhat spicy twang to its fluffy nature, which I also find very pleasing. Huh. All these other races and species gotta step up their game. This blue haired human or creature or whatever it is knows what the fuck is up.

I stare across the table as the others begin to sit down. I remember only now that waiting for everybody else to be seated before eating is a human custom or nicety of some sort. At first I feel vaguely bad about this, but then recall that this lot is comprised of mostly not humans. Still, I should probably work on these "manners" people keep spouting off about. I just find it hard to care about these things when every race, culture, species or whatever the fuck has different kinds. Gamzee, for example! I bet he didn't even know what his "pal" Rockwell was talking about when I brought up that one guy's hue of skin.

-----

~Gamzee~

I had no motherfuckin' idea what Strawso was talking about with the Tearman's skin color. I guess it's like, troll hemospectrowhatever? Like the blood colors we all have and stuff. Mine is purple as fuck, Karkat's is cherry red. But on the outside maybe? With skin? I dunno, I never really got the point of that crazy shit either, to be fair, the blood I mean. When you put all our blood together it makes a beautiful rainbow, you feel? S'why I wish my race could just get along with its bad self. Though I guess I've only seen like, a couple shades of human. Like, two or three tops. Humans would make for a pretty shitty rainbow. Maybe that's why it's more of a bigger deal?

Motherfuckin' human race needs to stop and just be a species and chill. Maybe a human brisk jog instead of a human race or some such shittery. I dunno. Either way, I guess I can see why offense could have been dealt in a direction that happened to be Tearman's. S'cool that he was chill about it. I don't think KK meant anything by it. He's the last person that would show any sort of hate towards someone for the color of their anything. Motherfucker has mad issues about his blood color. I don't see the problem, as afore-motherfucking-mentioned, but it's kinda a thing to him.

Whatever.

Food. Food is good. Food is so motherfucking good. I mayhappened to have let a loose slip of the mouthwaggler when I saw dat dere pretty little blue beauty, but I'm a heart on my sleeve kinda troll. As I'm piling on my plate, I wave politely at the lil' lady. 

"I really appreciate the foodstuffs, miss," I say with a smile. "I apahlohgize if my previous comment made ya uncomfortable. I'm a perfect gentleman, Ah swear it."

I hear a distant, muffled snort that I can only assume and imagine belongs to one or both of my best friends. Must be havin' hella allergies in this weird nature dwelling place.

"I-It is...quite alright, I suppose," she says all dainty like. "You're welcome. I hope you enjoy it!"

My grin gets a little grinnery and I taxi my bounty to a seat next to Karbro before beginning the snorfening of the foodstuffs. In the middle of a humongulous bite, Karkat gives me a swift lil' kick underneath the table.

"Oh! My bad dude. Want some?" I say with a mouth fool of nayne.

He gives me this really tired look and shakes his head. Poor little guy must be exhausted.

"Manners, you moron. Wait for everyone else," He whispers.

Oh. Yeah, humans are weird about social gatherings. I chill out for a bit and wait for the rest of 'em. I stare down into the depths of my wooden cup. Inside I see the purest, clearest, crystalest water I have ever had the pleasurely luck of layin' ocular nuggets on. I see a rather handsome motherfucker starin' up back at me.

I can't help but let loose a giggle. The world is full of miracles, man.