03-14-2017, 01:29 AM
Quote:Channel >- The Angry Channel - Rageface Part II: Shlurnbees (title card)
Outdoors. Evening. A middle-aged man in a business suit - fairly nondescript, black hair, slight build, ethnicity indeterminate - walks into a 7-11 gas station and convenience-mart. The doors slide shut behind him. Cut to inside the store. The man looks tired, presumably from a hard day at the office. His tie hangs loose and his suit is rumpled, but there's a smile on his face - not of satisfaction, but anticipation. He walks around the brightly lit convenience-mart aisles, past rows of corn-chips and candy bars, head turning left and right, clearly looking for something. Eventually, after going through the whole store twice, he sidles up to the counter and speaks to the cashier, a pretty young woman in a company shirt.
"Excuse me miss. What happened to your Slurpee machine? I can't seem to find it."
The woman smiles brightly, contriving to look apologetic. "I'm sorry sir. Slurpees have been discontinued."
The man looks at her. He frowns. His frown deepens. He rubs the back of his neck and closes his eyes tightly. His frown deepens even further,as though he's in genuine pain.
The cashier, concerned, says "Sir, are you alright?"
"Slurpees." he says, his eyes snapping open.
"I'm sorry sir, there are no more Slurpees. You're welcome to buy a different bev-"
The man's eyes widen, and his frown deepens even further, contorting his jaw. "Slurpees!"
The cashier takes a step back. "Sir... I think I'm going to have to ask you to leave."
Cut to outside the store. Suddenly, the front window smashes, broken from inside by a flying espresso-machine. The man steps out onto the pavement through the broken window, his eyes bugging out, his hair a mess, and his face twisted into a grotesque mask of apocalyptic rage. Smash-zoom to the man's horrible snarl.
"SLUUUURRRRRRPEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!" He howls, turning his face to an uncaring sky and shaking his fists.
Freeze-frame. Cue funk-guitar. The title card appears one word at a time, superimposed over the man's screaming face.
RAGE FACE PART II:
SHLURNBEES