Official Move Approval IV

[Mark]

The Bossman has two variants that are at the extremes, so depending on where you want yours to fall on that spectrum it might be fine. I’d think it would be closer to the ‘small painful deterrent’ end if you want that long of a time, though. True excruciating pain and lasting damage would be closer to maybe 30 seconds – 1 minute. Does this effect start up immediately or is there a charge-up time? Does it take concentration to maintain? Both of those things would change how long it could last.

Also, though I know this is probably something you’re aware of, I have to state for anyone else reading this that this Move wouldn’t layer on any significant damage to your other moves.

Nuclear Furnace (Area Attack) (300): As a byproduct of the nuclear reactions with her, Utsuho’s normal body temperature is extraordinarily high. Under most circumstances, she can keep it confined to her core, keeping her comfortably warm to the touch. However, when she raises the output for an extended period of time, such as during a power-up, this is not an option.
Unable to suppress it any longer, her body temperature begins to rise uncontrollably, forming a shroud of nuclear heat and radiation around her body, which spreads no further than arms reach. The shroud takes about half a minute to heat up fully, in a process that is out of her control entirely, and lasts for two minutes before it begins to cool down, with the heat fading away completely after another half a minute. Though it is the result of nuclear energy, the shroud around her is nowhere near the temperature or pressure needed to cause fusion or fission, and rather is only hot enough to make being near her incredibly uncomfortable to friend and foe alike. Her skin temperature, on the other hand, increases dramatically, and contact with in this state would feel like touching molten lead.
Okuu is more than capable of resisting her own heat, but all that escaping energy leaves her exhausted afterwards. It takes her around a minute to readjust to the lower temperature and output level, leaving her cold and uncoordinated. This move requires elevated output levels in order to function, causing it to start up automatically upon activating a power-up, without giving her any say in it. Of course, due to her inability to multitask, it remains the only move that can be used during them.

Alright, 3 minutes total, with the first 30 seconds heating up to full power, and the last 30 cooling down.
It's an entirely brainless move, she has no control over when it starts itself up, so it takes no concentration to maintain.
And made it more clear that this is the only move she can use during power-ups. She's a birdbrain who can't concentrate on more than one thing at a time. Control "Self Tokamak" already says that but might as well cover all my bases.

That’s cool. Approved!

The fight with Hiro has made me painfully aware of just how few moves Sage currently has. So...


Failed Magician:

 In his youth, the Sage received training in the arts of the Battle-mage. Though he possessed very little magical talent, and was unable to reliably preform any magic in his home universe, the Omniverse has changed him. He still has practically zero sway over his mana, and is only able to create small effects with limited usefulness. Frustrated with his lack of aptitude with the field, the Sage for the most part dismisses conventional magic, preferring to rely on the Libromancy he acquired shortly after his arrival at the Nexus. However, should his back be pressed against a wall, The Sage can perform very minor magical effects. Although the spells are anything but impressive, if used at the right moment they can give him the edge he needs in a conflict, and the Sage is painfully aware of their usefulness.
If any of these moves should drain the entirety of his manapool, he will be unable to use all of his “Failed Magician” moves (and will be physically weakened slightly to boot) for approximately a minute, long enough that the tide of battle will surely change.


Failed Magician: gout of embers (600 Om: Physical Proficiency)


[spoiler][/spoiler]

A small fire bursts into being, the failed infancy of a true wizard’s fireball. The flame can be held in the hand, and maintained for as long as the Sage keeps some amount of concentration. The flame engulfs his fist, adding to the threat of his otherwise quite unimposing punch. Though the attack is not physically stronger, the flames do cause light burns, (akin to a small campfire) and can even sometimes ignite combustible materials. The spell is quite quick to activate, taking only a second or two for the flames to appear in his hand.
He can instead spend longer casting the spell (up to four seconds) with the flames becoming more powerful the longer he spends preparing, (up to the strength of an almost medium campfire) at the cost of more necessary concentration.
The standard form can be used with other moves; however, he cannot spend enough concentration to use the charged form while using preforming another move.
The longer the Sage maintains the flame the more taxing it is on him, and after more than 15 seconds, (or 10 seconds for the charged version) the flame will drain his manapool and die out on its own, if it has not been dismissed before then.


Failed Magician: dash of frost-rime (600 Om: Ranged Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)


[spoiler][/spoiler]

This invocations, if properly cast, projects a beam of crystal blue frost, which immobilizes the target upon contact in a thin coating of ice. The Sage is not able to properly cast the spell, unfortunately, and so the spell manifests instead as a small bolt which streaks towards the target. If it hits, the target feels their limbs stiffen and tighten. They are not prevented from moving, but their reflexes are dulled and their movements made less fluid (like if all their limbs simultaneously fell asleep)
If the Sage instead manages to hit the target in a place where they are contacting a surface (such as their feet, or a hand if they are leaning against a wall), instead of affecting the target’s reflexes, they will find that they have trouble removing the limb in question from the surface it touches. They are not actually prevented from moving the limb in question, but doing so requires a surprising amount of their concentration.
This spell is quick to cast, (approximately 1.5 seconds) does not require maintained concentration, and its effects tend to last between 5 and 10 seconds depending on the strength (ATK) of the target. If the Sage uses this move more than two or three times in close succession he runs the risk of draining his manapool.


Failed Magician: burden blade (600 Om: Physical Proficiency, Debuff Proficiency)


[spoiler][/spoiler]

This spell is less flashy than the other two, but in the hands of a skilled caster, can increase the weight of weapons or armor to the point that their wielders can barely lift them. The Sage does not possess this level of ability, so instead he can only minorly affect his opponent. A bright violet octahedron appears in the Sage's hand, floating slightly above the surface of his palm. A bead of brighter light traces patterns across the edges of the polyhedron, its trail fading as it bounces about the shape. The Sage can use this spell to minimally increase the weight of an opponent’s weapon or equipment, throwing off their timing, and slightly decreasing the effectiveness of their attacks. This spell takes five seconds to cast, after which the Sage focuses on the item or items in question, which take on a very faint violet hue. The Sage can maintain the spell for up to 15 seconds before running out of mana.
This spell does not require too much concentration, and the Sage can maintain it while using other moves, unless something else requires or otherwise interferes with his concentration. In addition, the way this spell works it may be cast without being immediately activated but can remain untriggered in the Sage's hand for a maximum of 10 seconds, waiting for the appropriate moment.
Instead of choosing to slightly affect multiple pieces of equipment a person has, the Sage can instead direct all of the spells power towards a single weapon or other piece of equipment held by his target. The object in question glows a very obvious violet, and the bead of light traces its pattern at a much faster rate in this variety of the spell. This version requires the Sage to remain stationary and needs all of his concentration, but pulls the item in question towards the ground with approximately 10 kilograms of force. The Sage can only maintain this version of the spell for a maximum of 4 seconds, after which time his mana is completely drained.



Is it valid to tie these moves to the same power source as a way to balance them? or not really?
Thanks in advance to whomever looks these over!

Gout of Embers: Approved.

Frostrime: What’s the range? How fast does it move?

Burden Blade: Can this be cast at range or is it something he has to be more or less within arms’ reach of? It seems like a ranged move but you only have Physical Strength listed.

And I think they way you tied the stamina drain together works perfectly.

I'm fine with increasing the cost to 900.

Good to go, then.

Ice Strike , ranged proficiency

Description: Revan fires a single ice bolt the size of one of his arrows out of his palm that travels the speed of a dart and can go up to 25 metres. The bolt is designed to pierce armour and freeze a targets wound causing further pain resulting in moderate damage. takes 10 seconds to form before being shot at an opponent and needs 1 minute to recharge. User must focused and aimed carefully and must be stationary though once shot can be forgotten about. 



The ice bolt can then be removed or allowed to melt over time. 
Attack is significantly tiring and can be used twice per battle.
Cannot be used with other moves.





Shadow Barrage



Description: Revan creates a cloud of black smoke like substance around himself before using both arms to launch it at an enemy which it then attaches itself to causing moderate damage around the intended target.


This cloud can expand to fit over a single enemy to deal damage to them.

This attack requires full stationary focus and can be fired after only a minute of charging but takes an hour to be used again.

The shadow can move as fast as a ball as it floats quickly over to its intended target and is thus quite draining on Revan's stamina making it useful for usually once per battle.



The cloud exists on its target for only ten seconds but will cause  the target great pain as the shadow attempts to rip its target apart.

The target however can remove themselves if fast enough from the cloud at any time to avoid further damage.

Once fired the move can be forgotten about but must focus long enough for it to reach its intended target or else it may go astray.
Attack is extremely tiring and can only be used once per battle
Has range of 10 metres.
Cannot be used with other moves.

Now see I am not entirely sure how that would work since Revan is only a human but there are primes far bigger then he is.., I am presuming that means that larger primes and such wont be as caught in it unless I buy the area attack? not that I will be right now I am just clearing this up since I feel confused on it.

Ice Strike: Approved.

Shadow Barrage: Yeah, without Area Attack you can only effect things less than or equal to 3 feet by 3 feet. The smaller size just makes it easier to avoid in my eyes, so if you want to make the range larger feel free to add it now or get it reapproved at a later date. If you wanna keep it as-is, you're approved.

Psi Blast: How large is the blast? Can it be used while moving? Can this be used with other moves? I know it uses both hands but not all of your moves involve your hands =P. Also, I think you’ll need to tweak the damage/stamina/cast speed just a little bit to balance it better. This is pretty strong for the somewhat low cost.

I figured it'd be alright since bruising is pretty light damage. The burns weren't expected to go beyond first-degree with a blast, which I can (And probably should) edit in. I'm not sure how much weaker I can describe an attack than leaving bruising, to be honest, since I'm... not sure what sort of attack used by a human does less? 


In general, the blast can be used while standing, though as it doesn't require her to brace, it's quite easy for her to walk, stop, then walk again (though for obvious reasons that would slow down the rate of fire). As it's a very aggressive push, she'd mostly just end up falling on her face were she to try that, but it takes too much focus anyway. 
It cannot be used with other moves. you can only have psychic energy going so many ways at a time.

let me try a re-write:

Psi Blast (requires ranged proficiency) - 300 OM 
A basic psionic Technique, Kerrigan creates a condensed ball of yellow, psychic energy, about the size of a baseball glove (odd analogy I know, I just couldn't think of anything else) and then thrusts it at an opponent. creating a pushing motion with both hands as the energy sails at her chosen target. The energy, upon striking a target, burns and smacks the target, leaving bruises, burns, and with repeated, successive hits in the same area of the body, (provided the opponent's defence isn't higher than Kerrigan's attack), broken bones. 

This technique takes only a second for Kerrigan to generate and fire, and takes very little out of her, allowing her to throw one after the other, but the power suffers for it, and it requires both hands and almost all her focus to fire, letting her talk and observe her surroundings but do little else while using the technique.
The psi blast itself starts off slow at 11 meters per second, but accelerates to the speed of a bullet after half of a second, making it easier to dodge for someone able to predict Kerrigan's aim, and the technique has a range of fifty feet.

With this, characters should have roughly half a second at least before the energy blast can actually accelerate enough to strike them, unless they're very close to Kerrigan (At which point they may as well smack those outstretched arms off with a nice swording anyways), which should be manageable even for pretty low speed characters, and should help make it a bit more balanced, but still allow it to be intimidating at longer ranges.

You didn’t qualify the bruising as light in the original description, though the fractured bones and burning were my main concerns. I’m more or less balancing this against say a strong punch, since both require the same amount of focus and minimal stamina drain. The addition of repeated hits is perfect to address that. You’re good to go.