Green Text Stories Thread

[Jade Harley]

>it is a hot summer afternoon
>get a hankering for a popsicle
>not just any popsicle, mind you
>the kind of popsicle that is made of sunshine and angel sweat
>an ORANGE popsicle
>the orangiest popsicle to ever orange
>go to the garage
>pat the dogs on the head
>feed them strawberry ice cream sandwiches
>i am a small human child
>all is well
>open the freezer
>sort through piles of meat and probably dead bodies in black trash bags
>not human bodies but still
>fingers are frostbitten
>find the one
>the one popsicle
>colder than any blade destined to spell doom for the hero
>orange and perfect
>try to peel it open with fingers
>fingers are frozen
>the dumb plastic is impossible
>attempt to tear it open with teeth
>canine tooth stabbing right into the plastic
>jerk my head roughly the side
>SUDDEN BLINDING PAIN
>drop popsicle
>make weird noises like a tea kettle or something
>is still a small child and doesnt know swear words
>claw my way inside with the dogs coming at me from all sides
>swat away wagging tails and noses and try not to cry
>head feels like walking around with a titanium stockade on
>everything burns
>what have i done to deserve this hell
>stumble past the kitchen and into the living room
>wobbling like Quasimodo and trying to pathetically make it to my room
>visiting people are there, they stare at me in confusion
>fuck all yall
>make it to the blessed sanctity of the bed
>the only safe place
>burrow under pillows
>"owhadnadsjkadjkalhdakl"
>it hurts a lot to even lie down
>realize at this point that i cannot turn my head even an inch
>convince myself that i broke my neck
>begin sobbing quietly into flower pillows and coverlet
>this is it
>im gonna die
>wild sister appears
>"whats wrong?"
>"why are you crying?"
>cant even speak
>blinded by tears and pain
>wheeze
>"im gonna get mom"
>sister leaves
>returns with mother in tow
>"whats wrong honey?"
>i am clutching at my throat and the sides of my head
>"owhadnadsjkadjkalhdakl"
>"im going to take you to the ER"
>cant remember how i got to the car
>arrive at the ER waiting room
>a heavily muscled man sees me and immediately starts crying
>who was that guy
>was he okay
>signed in in two seconds flat
>sit awkwardly propped up against my mom in a plastic chair
>mother asks what happened
>"i tried to open a popsicle with my teeth"
>she looks doubtful
>cry some more
>wheelchair appearifies before me
>nurses lever me into it
>rush down the semi-dark halls like secret agents
>woooooooooosh
>enjoy the ride despite the pain
>nurses wheel me into a room
>doctor approaches my mom and asks what happened
>"she was opening a popsicle with her teeth and hurt herself"
>doctor looks doubtful
>doctor asks my mother to leave
>they ask what me happened
>i tell them about the orange popsicle
>they cant believe it
>x-rays or something taken
>weird scan things in dark rooms
>mother reappears at some point
>doctor tells her to give me muscle relaxers and prescribes them
>says that i actually gave myself whiplash opening a popsicle
>i could have broken my neck, he says
>two weeks spent on the couch and taking medication
>neck still gets weird twinges every now and then
>i dont like popsicles anymore