11-05-2016, 09:09 AM
Updated to this point.
Also, enjoy this issue I just came across.
The Issue
The human being is on the brink of extinction, largely due to people hunting them down for tasty human being-kabobs and human beingburgers, and as ecological disaster looms, various factions are all calling for what they feel should be done about the human being.
“This is an outrage!” shouts Hack Dubois, outspoken member of the Flandarz Wilderness Protection Movement. “The government has to put a stop to the out of control hunting of our beloved human beings. Do you want our children and grandchildren to miss witnessing the spectacle of wild human beings prancing freely in our forests?”
“Who cares what happens to some dumb wild pest?” scoffs Robin Stark, employee of Flandarz National Lumber, “If they’re endangered it’s ‘cause they were too weak to adapt. They probably deserve to be killed off. With them out of the way, we could clear-cut the forests human beings like to hide in, which would really boost the economy through the timber industry!”
“Nature is hardly a black and white issue,” Mario Nxumalo, a respected scholar, notes. “We should start a breeding program to help these creatures recover their numbers. We can display them in captivity, and gradually release them into the wild. Couple it with limiting, but not abolishing human being hunting, and everyone benefits. Of course, human beings raised in captivity don’t generally survive in the wild, but I’m sure we can find a way!”
Also, enjoy this issue I just came across.
The Issue
The human being is on the brink of extinction, largely due to people hunting them down for tasty human being-kabobs and human beingburgers, and as ecological disaster looms, various factions are all calling for what they feel should be done about the human being.
“This is an outrage!” shouts Hack Dubois, outspoken member of the Flandarz Wilderness Protection Movement. “The government has to put a stop to the out of control hunting of our beloved human beings. Do you want our children and grandchildren to miss witnessing the spectacle of wild human beings prancing freely in our forests?”
“Who cares what happens to some dumb wild pest?” scoffs Robin Stark, employee of Flandarz National Lumber, “If they’re endangered it’s ‘cause they were too weak to adapt. They probably deserve to be killed off. With them out of the way, we could clear-cut the forests human beings like to hide in, which would really boost the economy through the timber industry!”
“Nature is hardly a black and white issue,” Mario Nxumalo, a respected scholar, notes. “We should start a breeding program to help these creatures recover their numbers. We can display them in captivity, and gradually release them into the wild. Couple it with limiting, but not abolishing human being hunting, and everyone benefits. Of course, human beings raised in captivity don’t generally survive in the wild, but I’m sure we can find a way!”