11-08-2014, 09:06 PM
Unfortunately, I didn't have time to read Déja Vu, Baby Steps or The Scramble, so at least for my first Book Club review, I will be limited to Of Kings, Gods and Girls....which is kind of cheating on my part, considering I already read part of it in order to give Ganon feedback regarding the fight. 
Honestly, I don't have much to say outside of what I already said before and what Proto mentioned. Just to emphasise the point, I think the thread for the most part was fantastic. I enjoyed reading it and I liked the ego-driven rivalry between Ganon and Enel. When you're reading work from such seasoned writers as they are, it's kind of hard to find things to criticise. So once again, I'm essentially forced to search for essentially nitpicks in order to have anything constructive to say.
In a way, reading the rest of the thread further emphasised both the qualities and the pitfalls both writers exhibited in the fight itself. Enel did a great job of connecting his current situation with his character and his motivations, while Ganon did a good overall job of being descriptive while still touching upon many aspects of the various situations. And to be fair, the pitfalls in the rest of the thread weren't as strong or noticeable as they were in the fight itself thanks to the writers not being limited by word count.
However, they are still there. Like I said before, while I can appreciate a writer not getting too bogged down by details, I still think Enel's writing could be more descriptive and flavourful. Likewise, I still think Ganon could be a bit more clear regarding his character's motivations. One thing I particularly noticed in that regard is that Ganon seems to have a fondness for flashbacks and throwbacks. That's fine, but in this particular case (at least within the context of the thread), I felt as though they were rather random and didn't contribute much to the plot. Flashbacks can be quite powerful and effective storyline tools, but I do think it helps if they have applicability to the current situation or help drive a certain point/train of thought.
Another thing I need to mention is the continuity and flow. Now, for the most part, this aspect was perfectly fine. However, there was one part that didn't sit well with me and it was the part where Ganon turned into the Dark Beast. Here, there is tension built up as a result of this transformation and challenge and we're eagerly waiting to see how this situation is resolved....and then Enel is walking through the castle corridors and practicing on the rooftop while Ganon is dealing with his anger issues. Like, I guess Enel backed away from that challenge...but considering how both characters are egomaniacs and how important his own pride is to Enel, it seems kind of odd not to touch upon a situation in which Enel is forced to back down. Maybe it's just me, but the transition was rather abrupt and it practically felt like I had missed a part of the thread.
Lastly, there is the whole Android 18 situation. While I get the "sexual tension" angle that both Ganon and 18 were going for, it still (no pun intended) struck me as odd when, in the end, 18 hit Ganon....for seemingly no apparent reason. Even weirder, however, was her almost downright meek response to Ganon turning her into a personal servant. Considering what we know of 18's personality, I would have expected her to put up much more of a resistance. Heck, considering how it is established that she doesn't feel like she owes Ganon anything and that she can leave any time she wants, one would expect her to respond to this insult by just giving Ganon the middle finger and taking off. And if the purpose of that post really was to write 18 out of the story...well, in my opinion, the way the situation was handled doesn't really achieve that. In fact, it kind of sets up the expectation that that particular plot thread is merely temporarily on hold and that it will continue once 18 grows fed up with her current situation.
Based on what I've written, one might be left with the impression that I'm being incredibly harsh. But again, I must emphasise that, overall, I thought the thread was great. I enjoyed the development between characters, the fight was awesome and fitting and I am really looking forward where Ganon and Enel will take it from here. In fact, it kind of goes to show just how good they (and 18) are as writers that I really needed to focus on the little things to really offer a critique on anything. Alas, when you're dealing with such accomplished writers, helping them fine-tune their craft is really the only thing you can do. Hopefully, my senseless rambling has contributed towards that goal at least a tiny bit.
And that's it for me for this week's Book Club. Hopefully, I will cover more next week.
Honestly, I don't have much to say outside of what I already said before and what Proto mentioned. Just to emphasise the point, I think the thread for the most part was fantastic. I enjoyed reading it and I liked the ego-driven rivalry between Ganon and Enel. When you're reading work from such seasoned writers as they are, it's kind of hard to find things to criticise. So once again, I'm essentially forced to search for essentially nitpicks in order to have anything constructive to say.
In a way, reading the rest of the thread further emphasised both the qualities and the pitfalls both writers exhibited in the fight itself. Enel did a great job of connecting his current situation with his character and his motivations, while Ganon did a good overall job of being descriptive while still touching upon many aspects of the various situations. And to be fair, the pitfalls in the rest of the thread weren't as strong or noticeable as they were in the fight itself thanks to the writers not being limited by word count.
However, they are still there. Like I said before, while I can appreciate a writer not getting too bogged down by details, I still think Enel's writing could be more descriptive and flavourful. Likewise, I still think Ganon could be a bit more clear regarding his character's motivations. One thing I particularly noticed in that regard is that Ganon seems to have a fondness for flashbacks and throwbacks. That's fine, but in this particular case (at least within the context of the thread), I felt as though they were rather random and didn't contribute much to the plot. Flashbacks can be quite powerful and effective storyline tools, but I do think it helps if they have applicability to the current situation or help drive a certain point/train of thought.
Another thing I need to mention is the continuity and flow. Now, for the most part, this aspect was perfectly fine. However, there was one part that didn't sit well with me and it was the part where Ganon turned into the Dark Beast. Here, there is tension built up as a result of this transformation and challenge and we're eagerly waiting to see how this situation is resolved....and then Enel is walking through the castle corridors and practicing on the rooftop while Ganon is dealing with his anger issues. Like, I guess Enel backed away from that challenge...but considering how both characters are egomaniacs and how important his own pride is to Enel, it seems kind of odd not to touch upon a situation in which Enel is forced to back down. Maybe it's just me, but the transition was rather abrupt and it practically felt like I had missed a part of the thread.
Lastly, there is the whole Android 18 situation. While I get the "sexual tension" angle that both Ganon and 18 were going for, it still (no pun intended) struck me as odd when, in the end, 18 hit Ganon....for seemingly no apparent reason. Even weirder, however, was her almost downright meek response to Ganon turning her into a personal servant. Considering what we know of 18's personality, I would have expected her to put up much more of a resistance. Heck, considering how it is established that she doesn't feel like she owes Ganon anything and that she can leave any time she wants, one would expect her to respond to this insult by just giving Ganon the middle finger and taking off. And if the purpose of that post really was to write 18 out of the story...well, in my opinion, the way the situation was handled doesn't really achieve that. In fact, it kind of sets up the expectation that that particular plot thread is merely temporarily on hold and that it will continue once 18 grows fed up with her current situation.
Based on what I've written, one might be left with the impression that I'm being incredibly harsh. But again, I must emphasise that, overall, I thought the thread was great. I enjoyed the development between characters, the fight was awesome and fitting and I am really looking forward where Ganon and Enel will take it from here. In fact, it kind of goes to show just how good they (and 18) are as writers that I really needed to focus on the little things to really offer a critique on anything. Alas, when you're dealing with such accomplished writers, helping them fine-tune their craft is really the only thing you can do. Hopefully, my senseless rambling has contributed towards that goal at least a tiny bit.
And that's it for me for this week's Book Club. Hopefully, I will cover more next week.
![[Image: LsiSHXa.png]](http://i.imgur.com/LsiSHXa.png)
"To confront a person with his shadow is to show him his own light. "
- Carl Gustav Jung
Ezrihel Wrote:I'm so glad DL linked it