11-07-2014, 08:39 PM
My critique is done in short bullet points. I'm not really comfortable or familiar with analyzing the work of others, so try to bear with me.
Deja Vu:
Noticed that Neku overlooked that during Omni's speech, you both can't move or talk.
Appreciated the short, paragraph or two length posts by Rand and Neku. Made reading the whole deal much easier.
While not necessary, Rand didn't separate his speech onto other lines, which made his posts seem a bit blocky. Others did this as well, but seemed to take the time to change the color or bold the speech, which made it easier to distinguish.
Some of Desco's posts included incredibly long paragraphs. Nyeseth also did this a lot.
Later on, all the writers moved to a shorter post style, which helped me get back into the flow of reading.
The back and forth between Rand and Neku early on, Neku remarking on Rand's clothing and Rand on Neku's age, was nice to see. It really helped set the tone that they both were out of place here.
Desco, as I expected, was both grandeous and childlike in her posts. It was highly enjoyable to read.
While Guu wasn't involved for much of the thread, what I read of her was good stuff. She gave folks nicknames, adopted detective personas, and generally acted like a kid, though her inner thoughts betray her actual mental state.
All in all, I enjoyed the fight. Occasionally, it got a bit hard to read as I'd have to reread a paragraph due to soem confusing wording.
I'm looking forward to seeing how things go from the aftermath of this fight. It seems like Desco, Guu, and Nyeseth will likely be grouping together, possibly alongside Neku. I wish Rand hadn't seemingly burned himself out. Despite some minor grammar flaws, his writing was well thought out and interesting.
Deja Vu:
Noticed that Neku overlooked that during Omni's speech, you both can't move or talk.
Appreciated the short, paragraph or two length posts by Rand and Neku. Made reading the whole deal much easier.
While not necessary, Rand didn't separate his speech onto other lines, which made his posts seem a bit blocky. Others did this as well, but seemed to take the time to change the color or bold the speech, which made it easier to distinguish.
Some of Desco's posts included incredibly long paragraphs. Nyeseth also did this a lot.
Later on, all the writers moved to a shorter post style, which helped me get back into the flow of reading.
The back and forth between Rand and Neku early on, Neku remarking on Rand's clothing and Rand on Neku's age, was nice to see. It really helped set the tone that they both were out of place here.
Desco, as I expected, was both grandeous and childlike in her posts. It was highly enjoyable to read.
While Guu wasn't involved for much of the thread, what I read of her was good stuff. She gave folks nicknames, adopted detective personas, and generally acted like a kid, though her inner thoughts betray her actual mental state.
All in all, I enjoyed the fight. Occasionally, it got a bit hard to read as I'd have to reread a paragraph due to soem confusing wording.
I'm looking forward to seeing how things go from the aftermath of this fight. It seems like Desco, Guu, and Nyeseth will likely be grouping together, possibly alongside Neku. I wish Rand hadn't seemingly burned himself out. Despite some minor grammar flaws, his writing was well thought out and interesting.