Nekrol

[Sarah_Kerrigan]

You'll want to put the pricing for the Proficiencies as well. Ranged is 1000 OM for instance. You also don't need to list it twice. Next, all standard Moves start at a base of 300 OM. The 150 is incorrect. Additionally, you'll want to include the rate of fire for the pistol: is it automatic, burst-fire, semi-auto etc. I have no problem with you using that description for your spell - if you want to. But you may want to change of the wording to suit your character, You wouldn't need the his or her or the caster. You could use your character's actual gender and his name in there somewhere.

At the moment I can see you have only spent 1,600 out of your starting 5,000 Om. If I were you I would take the time and think on if you would like anything else to start with. The Dual Pistol thing you may have to wait on for Omni - since I am not sure if each pistol would count as a separate Move (priced at 300) or if you can just have them bundled under one.

For History - think on who, what, when, where and why. Like what was his childhood like - what world is he from - what is that world like etc? I still think it needs a bit more to it than what you have. While your physical description is adequate, I would throw in some specifics: exactly how tall is he? How long is his hair? What color are his eyes?

You can see some in depth examples in the Roster section with the Character Profiles. To start with you don't have to be that detailed, but it is a good thing to work up to in order to develop a well-rounded character.