Escape (The Piña Colada Song)

[Mickey Mouse]

Vacation.

What did that word even mean? Mickey Mouse hadn’t even thought about sitting down and just taking a breath in what felt like years. And now he’d somehow found himself on a beach? Sipping piña coladas with his wife?

The business in Nippur had been a fool’s errand. There was no circumstance where the people of that city would ever think of either half of the Proto Mouse as a friendly agent, and Mickey had learned that all too well once Jafar had him where he wanted him. Luckily, the street boy, Aladdin, had shown up just in time with Minnie and Simba and broken him out of the dungeons of the castle.

Parting with the young thief had been bittersweet, but the royal couple and their lion bodyguard couldn’t afford any extra weight as they continued their efforts to avoid the (now many) people who wanted their blood. So Aladdin left the couple with a parting gift — a shiny lamp he’d unearthed no doubt while thieving — and disappeared into the wind, as young, mysterious characters were wont to do. And Mickey, Minnie, and Simba left the Endless Dunes for greener pastures. Or, well, bluer ones.

They had thus far gotten lucky in their travels in the Vasty Deep — it had been merely by happenstance, in fact, that they had stumbled upon a pirate ship coasting near the shores of Costa del Sol and bummed a ride on it just in time to avoid the Empire’s wrath.

Mickey and Minnie’s sojourn with the pirates did not last long. Their captain had been abducted, and the pair took comfort in being able to give them a purpose for a little while — smuggling a fugitive king and queen seemed right up their alley — but the time eventually came when the pair stumbled upon an island that seemed just uninhabited enough for their liking, and in the night they slipped off of the ship undetected.

And for the past however long, that was where they had remained. The island natives seemed nice enough and disinterested in the couple’s colorful past. No one asked questions. No one minded the fact that they were primes. No one batted an eye when they erected a small hovel of their own on the outskirts of town, completely out of omnilium.

Best of all, no one even thought to bother them. Simba kept them well taken care of, not only serving as a de facto butler but also keeping his eyes open for threats, though they had gone so long without one Mickey doubted the lion king would even know what to look for anymore. Other than him, they mostly lived in solitude. Occasionally, one of the island families would make the trek up the hill to their cottage on the cliffs to check on them. A nice gesture, and one the mice appreciated.

“We should really invite that nice girl and her sister to dinner sometime,” Minnie said, breaking the silence of their beach rendezvous for a moment.

She squeezed her husband’s hand, looking at him sitting in his own beach chair a little ways away. He peered out at the ocean over too-big sunglasses, and nodded slightly. “Okey-dokey,” he shrugged. He’d become comfortable in their hermit lifestyle; it had become clear that the best way to avoid threats in this Omniverse was to avoid basically any contact with the outside world. But this family seemed kind. “Tonight?”

Minnie giggled. “Sometime,” she smiled, and took a sip of her own piña colada. She slurped up the last little bit. “Tonight would be nice.”

“Tonight it is, then,” Mickey grinned, glancing over at her. “After all — you’re the boss.” He winked at her, which only sent her further into a fit of giggles. She slid off her chair and yanked him onto his feet, pulling him into an embrace and placing a little kiss on his mouse mouth. Mickey scrunched his brow. How in the world was he so happy?

“You don’t think she’ll bring her weird pet, do you?”