11-02-2014, 11:48 AM
I’m not going to touch upon the fight scene, because I did that in another thread (<!-- l --><a class="postlink-local" href="http://omniverse-rpg.com/viewtopic.php?f=28&t=1363">viewtopic.php?f=28&t=1363</a><!-- l -->), so instead I’ll touch upon everything before that.
(Jeff) While I may have given Enel the advantage in the fight scene that forms the climax/conclusion(?) to this thread, I think the thread as a whole would belong to Ganondorf if I had to ‘assess’ all of it. Ganondorf is that type of slow-paced, manipulative evil person that I always identified with on a certain level. He’s like an American politician trying to balance all the sides for his own gain. Maybe another apt metaphor would be that of a corrupt Italian Doge. I enjoyed watching him attempt (and strangely enough, kind of fail) to balance Eighteen, Enel, and even Roland. Even when the situation got rough, he saved face (although it remains to be seen if and how he manages to do so depending on how the fight concludes).
I am still very much trying to figure out Ganondorf’s motivations, which could actually be a good thing. I left this thread still very much wondering what exactly he was after—influence? The Triforce? Something else? If I could offer advice, it would be to continue to slowly reveal his persona. Don’t get buried focusing on the external (I will do this quite often because I just love the ‘world building’ aspect of writing so much). I also hope that you’ll continue to play off Ganondorf’s more bureaucratic side when it comes to the future conflict between himself and Roland.
(Greg) As for Enel, he had me laughing for the first half of his posts (all da bitches). Then you sort of did a 180 and focused on Enel coming to realization of where he is at and what he has lost. I thought you did a wonderful job of having Enel’s frustration simmer and hiss before boiling over. I very much bought into Enel’s frustration and rage. As I’ve said a few times over, it will be very interesting to see where these two characters go from here.
(Both) The thread kind of got hard to read near the middle, when Ganondorf had his audience with Roland. It seemed kind of weird that he’d leave his town to go have an audience with someone in the desert and not the other way around, but I understand the importance of the scene in setting up for future confrontations between the two. It still seemed weird that he’d come alone to a potentially dangerous place.
As I mentioned before, I really enjoyed the fight, both from a writer perspective and a reader perspective. It provides so much fodder when it comes to the relationship between the two characters. Even if one of them wins and one of them loses/dies, I don’t think that either of them will leave the fight 100% happy with their performance. I think their egos are too massive to let such a mutual beat-down slip into forgotten history. If I said it once, I’ll say it a few more times—I am very curious to see where they go from here. I know from OOC world that you’re both creating a faction with long-term goals, so I am interesting in seeing the short-term developments in the aftermath of their ego/power struggle at the climax of this thread.
I also think, and I know this is nothing either of you have control over, that the thread (and your combined adventures) could have benefitted from Eighteen’s continued input. You’re both Bad Dudes, even if Ganondorf doesn’t see himself in that light, and I thought her presence was welcomed as somewhat of an audience surrogate. She was the mostly (I remember her pre-Omniverse shenanigans!) nice person in a sea of sinister egos, and it would have been an awesome story to see how she would handle that. I also disliked the manner in which she was abruptly written out of the storyline. I think it would have been better to keep her as a minor character, especially since it’s not like she’s going to ever get over the fact that she’s now essentially Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi.
Random note – Please continue to include the word ‘Ganondorf’ in all of your threads. It still amuses me that all the threads in the Endless Dunes include ‘Ganondorf’ in some manner.
Pros
Both characters are evil and completely okay with that
Both characters are their own type of evil, and the interplay is and will continue to be fun to read (I think)
Lays the foundations for an interesting village society in the Endless Dunes
Lays the foundation for a potential conflict between Team Ganon and TWNN that will hopefully play out in an interesting manner
Awesome fight scene at the end that should provide for a lot of growth for both characters moving forward.
Cons
Thread kind of got jumbled near the middle, especially with Eighteen being written out very harshly
(Jeff) While I may have given Enel the advantage in the fight scene that forms the climax/conclusion(?) to this thread, I think the thread as a whole would belong to Ganondorf if I had to ‘assess’ all of it. Ganondorf is that type of slow-paced, manipulative evil person that I always identified with on a certain level. He’s like an American politician trying to balance all the sides for his own gain. Maybe another apt metaphor would be that of a corrupt Italian Doge. I enjoyed watching him attempt (and strangely enough, kind of fail) to balance Eighteen, Enel, and even Roland. Even when the situation got rough, he saved face (although it remains to be seen if and how he manages to do so depending on how the fight concludes).
I am still very much trying to figure out Ganondorf’s motivations, which could actually be a good thing. I left this thread still very much wondering what exactly he was after—influence? The Triforce? Something else? If I could offer advice, it would be to continue to slowly reveal his persona. Don’t get buried focusing on the external (I will do this quite often because I just love the ‘world building’ aspect of writing so much). I also hope that you’ll continue to play off Ganondorf’s more bureaucratic side when it comes to the future conflict between himself and Roland.
(Greg) As for Enel, he had me laughing for the first half of his posts (all da bitches). Then you sort of did a 180 and focused on Enel coming to realization of where he is at and what he has lost. I thought you did a wonderful job of having Enel’s frustration simmer and hiss before boiling over. I very much bought into Enel’s frustration and rage. As I’ve said a few times over, it will be very interesting to see where these two characters go from here.
(Both) The thread kind of got hard to read near the middle, when Ganondorf had his audience with Roland. It seemed kind of weird that he’d leave his town to go have an audience with someone in the desert and not the other way around, but I understand the importance of the scene in setting up for future confrontations between the two. It still seemed weird that he’d come alone to a potentially dangerous place.
As I mentioned before, I really enjoyed the fight, both from a writer perspective and a reader perspective. It provides so much fodder when it comes to the relationship between the two characters. Even if one of them wins and one of them loses/dies, I don’t think that either of them will leave the fight 100% happy with their performance. I think their egos are too massive to let such a mutual beat-down slip into forgotten history. If I said it once, I’ll say it a few more times—I am very curious to see where they go from here. I know from OOC world that you’re both creating a faction with long-term goals, so I am interesting in seeing the short-term developments in the aftermath of their ego/power struggle at the climax of this thread.
I also think, and I know this is nothing either of you have control over, that the thread (and your combined adventures) could have benefitted from Eighteen’s continued input. You’re both Bad Dudes, even if Ganondorf doesn’t see himself in that light, and I thought her presence was welcomed as somewhat of an audience surrogate. She was the mostly (I remember her pre-Omniverse shenanigans!) nice person in a sea of sinister egos, and it would have been an awesome story to see how she would handle that. I also disliked the manner in which she was abruptly written out of the storyline. I think it would have been better to keep her as a minor character, especially since it’s not like she’s going to ever get over the fact that she’s now essentially Princess Leia in Return of the Jedi.
Random note – Please continue to include the word ‘Ganondorf’ in all of your threads. It still amuses me that all the threads in the Endless Dunes include ‘Ganondorf’ in some manner.
Pros
Both characters are evil and completely okay with that
Both characters are their own type of evil, and the interplay is and will continue to be fun to read (I think)
Lays the foundations for an interesting village society in the Endless Dunes
Lays the foundation for a potential conflict between Team Ganon and TWNN that will hopefully play out in an interesting manner
Awesome fight scene at the end that should provide for a lot of growth for both characters moving forward.
Cons
Thread kind of got jumbled near the middle, especially with Eighteen being written out very harshly
![[Image: proto.jpg]](http://epiqz.com/omni/proto.jpg)
![[Image: DAHost.png]](http://www.omniverse-rpg.com/images/badges/Events/DAHost.png)
Dante's Abyss 2015
Host