09-14-2016, 09:01 PM
AHHHHHHH wait lets see
Gotta give some stuff to the clown up in here.
Colosseum - Spectator Thread' post by Gamzee Makara
Alright, let me just start out by saying I've read this post more than a few times, its a great display of Gamzee's contrast between being 'normal' and sober, as well as the character interaction between Gamzee and Karkat. Its all very well out together, giving a flashback to show the scene Gamzee hardly remember when he wakes up, as evident by his note of
I mean Gamzee is oblivious to his own terror, with how the doctor's struggle to keep down the clown, until finally Karkat hushes him the hell to sleep, passing out shortly afterwards. The storytelling of it all is great. Karkat's care over Gamzee is also greatly shown by his stubborn stance on not telling Gamzee how messed up he was, and telling the staff to do the same. Its really funny and adorable to see their interactions.
One thing that I also love about hGamzee;s writing is his voice, with how much he interrupts his own sentences and interjects himself in a way that you know its his writing. Its like an organized mess of words and I love it. Being so close to how Gamzee might write himself you get a really good feel of the character, and it's always nice to read one of his posts. His fight post for gamzee in the nexus brawl was amazing as well.
However, I would like to point out that the tense changes were a bit weird with the time skips included as well, simple sentences for transitions would have done fine without the triple dash, as I found myself sometimes wondering where the tense changes were. Only the flashback and flashforward are the ones I find necessary.
finallyyyy i did a bookclubbbb
Gotta give some stuff to the clown up in here.
Colosseum - Spectator Thread' post by Gamzee Makara
Alright, let me just start out by saying I've read this post more than a few times, its a great display of Gamzee's contrast between being 'normal' and sober, as well as the character interaction between Gamzee and Karkat. Its all very well out together, giving a flashback to show the scene Gamzee hardly remember when he wakes up, as evident by his note of
Quote:The High-Blood could see him fretting now, stressing out and shit over some little cuts and burns. Maybe he’d let him sleep a little longer.
I mean Gamzee is oblivious to his own terror, with how the doctor's struggle to keep down the clown, until finally Karkat hushes him the hell to sleep, passing out shortly afterwards. The storytelling of it all is great. Karkat's care over Gamzee is also greatly shown by his stubborn stance on not telling Gamzee how messed up he was, and telling the staff to do the same. Its really funny and adorable to see their interactions.
One thing that I also love about hGamzee;s writing is his voice, with how much he interrupts his own sentences and interjects himself in a way that you know its his writing. Its like an organized mess of words and I love it. Being so close to how Gamzee might write himself you get a really good feel of the character, and it's always nice to read one of his posts. His fight post for gamzee in the nexus brawl was amazing as well.
However, I would like to point out that the tense changes were a bit weird with the time skips included as well, simple sentences for transitions would have done fine without the triple dash, as I found myself sometimes wondering where the tense changes were. Only the flashback and flashforward are the ones I find necessary.
finallyyyy i did a bookclubbbb
![[Image: giphy.gif]](https://media.giphy.com/media/3oz8xHoSfatTJOBqZW/giphy.gif)