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Just a little somethin I wrote... Feedback?
#1
“Good Morning, Mr. Mephala! The usual?” 

“Yes please, Halley.” David paid her and stuck a few crisp bills in the tip jar. He had more than he knew what to do with, unlike most people did these days. Halley was a nice kid, and he enjoyed being able to help her out whenever he could. Taking his coffee, David walked over to his usual seat in the corner of the small diner. It wasn’t anything special, the seats were old and cracked, and the table was mottled with stains as old as the building itself. 

Blowing on the steaming rim, David took a sip of the brown liquid, savoring the bittersweet taste. His blue eyes stared out the window from behind his glasses, taking in the sights he had been familiar with for many years now. Valhalla, the land of opportunity. He almost laughed at the thought, it was so absurd. He couldn’t count all the homeless people he passed on the way here, there were so many. He recounted almost all of their faces, so filled with despair and anger. Anger at a society that hadn't treated them to the lives they deserved. He could hardly blame them.

Pulling out a sleek black laptop, he opened the lid, he was greeted by a familiar login screen. Sighing, his fingers quickly tapped the keyboard.

Username: Mephala

Password: Hellandhighwaters

He pressed login and waited briefly, shuffling around in his bag for his Psyche profiles. His fingers finding the rough texture of the manila folder, he grasped the thin portfolio and tugged it out. His azure eyes lingered over the name on the Psyche profile. David Mephala: Nevermore. He smirked at the name. It was well known in this city, by both the government and the common folk alike. His name inspired a myriad of emotions, ranging from fear to elation. He almost wondered why he ever qui-

"Whatcha' got there, old man?" David jumped, almost dropping the folder.  Quickly regaining his wits and gathering what dignity he could salvage, he threw a half-hearted glare towards the younger woman. He prided himself on not being easy to sneak up on, but David guessed that he was getting rusty. "I'm not that much older that you, Halley. Four  years isn't as much as you seem to think." She stuck her tongue out at him, her warm brown eyes sparkling with mirth. 

"I know, It's just funny to watch your face when you get all irritated."

Rolling his eyes, David looked at the sea of files on his desktop, scanning for the one he needed. Clicking on the appropriate file, he turned back to Halley, his face suddenly serious. Despite his detached presence, he cared for Halley. He felt like a mentor of sorts. If he had to put a finger on it, he felt as a big brother would for a younger sibling. She annoyed the hell out of him, but they were there for each other. 

"I might not be around for a while, Halley. I...Things have come up, and I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I didn't do what I thought I was right..." He paused once more, trying to find the words he was looking for. He couldn't. His mouth set into a firm line, and he quickly packed his things and left.

Halley was confused. He had come in every day for the past three years. Hell, she had named an item on the menu after him for his loyalty. She shook her head, the blonde hair falling into her face. 
"What the hell have you gotten yourself into, David?"

She started to make her way back to the cash register, the lunch rush, as small as it was, would be here soon. As she trudged towards the counter, she spied a lone paper at the door. Her eyes narrowed as she approached it. It seemed official in nature, and many sections of the writing were blacked out.
 
Subject Name: David Mephala

Her eyes widened as she scanned what she could read of the document... What...Was this? She idly wondered if she had ever really known anything about this man, or if she believed what he wanted her to. She didn't want to believe the latter, but wasn't completely sure about what she should believe.
She quickly hid the file underneath the counter as the front door of the shop rang as a few individuals walked in. She quickly hid a surprised look, as these looked nothing like the usual people that frequented the small café. A woman, flanked on both sides by men in black suits, looked around with narrowed eyes and crossed arms. She looked positively pissed off; almost as if she had just missed...Halley wiped her face clean of any emotion. 

"Can I help you, ma'am?" She deadpanned.

The woman turned her head towards Halley, her mouth curving into a smirk. Vibrant green eyes bored into hers and she couldn't suppress the shiver of fear that crawled down her spine. Heels clacked against the cracked tile as the woman slowly approached the counter. The two men that had accompanied her here, pulled the blinds shut and locked the door, the loud click almost echoing in the empty shop.

"I sure hope you can, Miss Vera." The lady started off, her voice surprisingly pleasant, "A...friend and former colleague of mine was just here, and I was wondering if you could tell me where he went."  Halley almost gave the woman an answer, but she snapped her mouth shut almost as soon as it opened, her brown eyes narrowing at the other individual. 

The other woman's smirk expanded into an all-out smile, pearly white teeth giving her an almost innocent appearance. She appeared thoroughly pleased with herself, and then the woman's hand shot forward, grabbing Halley roughly by the throat, hoisting her into the air. Halley felt her chest grow tight with fear, the tips of her black shoes barely scratching the surface of the floor. 
"I don't have time for these games, child. If you won't tell me where he went, Ill just have to pry the information off your corpse!" Despite the cruel words, the tone remained cheerful and lighthearted. She felt another hand grasp her head firmly, and before she knew what was happening, her neck was violently twisted. She was dead before she hit the ground.


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Just a little somethin I wrote... Feedback? - by Koal - 09-05-2016, 03:38 PM

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