09-01-2016, 09:46 AM
(This post was last modified: 09-02-2016, 02:06 PM by Carmelita.
Edit Reason: Canterlot --> Camelot
)
“-mirror’s flashing. Is it supposed to be doing that?”
“Of course it is, it’s one of those fancy magic mirrors. Oi, Stewart! There’s a flashing mirror in your office!”
“There’s what?”
“I said, there’s a flashing mirror in your office!”
“Oh! Press the gem in the corner and answer it!”
“I already pressed the gem!”
“Excuse me-”
“Then shut up and listen to whoever’s trying to contact us, you nitwit!”
“Excuse me!”
“Oh! The mirror’s talking!”
“Ugh, you imbeciles. Get out, the both of you, and shut the door behind you!”
The sound of slamming can be heard.
“Hello?”
“Hello, madam, I apologise for all that. We weren’t expecting a call today. What can I help you with?”
“Is… is this the Camelot Guard?”
“Well, yes. Sort of. I’m actually the stand-in protocol handler at the moment, I usually handle logistics for lower Camelot but there was a magical bullfrog attack last week and half the department has called in sick with warts.”
“Right then. My name is Carmelita Fox-Cooper, I am calling to talk about a solution to international criminals.”
“Is that a thing? People just ring up with solutions?”
“Not exactly. I think the best thing to do in this situation is for me to send you the document to pass on to your superiors.”
“Document?”
“I am an experienced police officer with a long history of successful international policing. I am establishing a non-political organisation with the aim of facilitating bringing international criminals to justice, and am contacting the Camelot Guard as one of the six principal beneficiaries of such a scheme.”
“Okay, so you’ll be sending a document for Vimes or someone to have a look at.”
“Yes. I’m intending to assemble a conference call at a later date to discuss it.”
“Hang on, let me write this all down.”
The sound of scrabbling and then of a quill scratching against parchment.
“Okay, got it. I’ll send a dispatch to the central yard to let them know. If you can get the document to us on paper that will make the whole process so much simpler, but I think I can contact one of the magical printers up in the sideways district to print it out. If you can wait ten minutes, I’ll run up and talk to them.”
“I can wait.”
The sound of footsteps and a door closing.
Twenty minutes pass before the footsteps return.
“Hello? Are you still there?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Okay, if you send the document to Pentagram-Squiggle-Rune-Octomarine-13-7-3, they’ll print it out. Do you have an address I can send a message to when we get it?”
“Yes. Send it to CFoxCooper@SupraPol.org.”
“Right then. Contact us when you’ve got that conference call thingy ready to go!”
There’s a pause.
“Huh, how do I turn this off aga-”
“Of course it is, it’s one of those fancy magic mirrors. Oi, Stewart! There’s a flashing mirror in your office!”
“There’s what?”
“I said, there’s a flashing mirror in your office!”
“Oh! Press the gem in the corner and answer it!”
“I already pressed the gem!”
“Excuse me-”
“Then shut up and listen to whoever’s trying to contact us, you nitwit!”
“Excuse me!”
“Oh! The mirror’s talking!”
“Ugh, you imbeciles. Get out, the both of you, and shut the door behind you!”
The sound of slamming can be heard.
“Hello?”
“Hello, madam, I apologise for all that. We weren’t expecting a call today. What can I help you with?”
“Is… is this the Camelot Guard?”
“Well, yes. Sort of. I’m actually the stand-in protocol handler at the moment, I usually handle logistics for lower Camelot but there was a magical bullfrog attack last week and half the department has called in sick with warts.”
“Right then. My name is Carmelita Fox-Cooper, I am calling to talk about a solution to international criminals.”
“Is that a thing? People just ring up with solutions?”
“Not exactly. I think the best thing to do in this situation is for me to send you the document to pass on to your superiors.”
“Document?”
“I am an experienced police officer with a long history of successful international policing. I am establishing a non-political organisation with the aim of facilitating bringing international criminals to justice, and am contacting the Camelot Guard as one of the six principal beneficiaries of such a scheme.”
“Okay, so you’ll be sending a document for Vimes or someone to have a look at.”
“Yes. I’m intending to assemble a conference call at a later date to discuss it.”
“Hang on, let me write this all down.”
The sound of scrabbling and then of a quill scratching against parchment.
“Okay, got it. I’ll send a dispatch to the central yard to let them know. If you can get the document to us on paper that will make the whole process so much simpler, but I think I can contact one of the magical printers up in the sideways district to print it out. If you can wait ten minutes, I’ll run up and talk to them.”
“I can wait.”
The sound of footsteps and a door closing.
Twenty minutes pass before the footsteps return.
“Hello? Are you still there?”
“Yes, I am.”
“Okay, if you send the document to Pentagram-Squiggle-Rune-Octomarine-13-7-3, they’ll print it out. Do you have an address I can send a message to when we get it?”
“Yes. Send it to CFoxCooper@SupraPol.org.”
“Right then. Contact us when you’ve got that conference call thingy ready to go!”
There’s a pause.
“Huh, how do I turn this off aga-”