08-31-2016, 12:23 AM
If their plan could’ve failed harder Mallory would’ve been impressed. The moment he grabbed Ahanu and wrapped his forearm around the coyotle’s throat the warrior’s leaped to their sage’s aid. Mal had been hoping that Charlie’s beast of a handgun would be enough to scare them off, but the big oaf was too busy star gazing to react. Mallory let loose a string of curse words and kicked his companion in the leg. Before the mountain of muscle could even think to act a coyotle threw a set of bolas at his feet and, with a push, forced him to the ground. Not that Charlie minded much, the new position gave him a great view of the stars. The remaining warriors bumrushed Mallory and tore him from their leader. He was pushed to the ground and with a skull-rattling strike he was rendered unconscious.
The rising sun shook the duo awake from their respective slumbers. Heat mixed with a headache worse than any hangover and left Mallory in a dizzying ache. The drugs in Charles’s system finally started to wear off. His mouth was dry and he felt a vague sense of failure as he tried to piece together what had happened. Their arms were bound to a massive stake in the ground. Both hunters could sense the presence of a third person tied to the wooden pole.Mallory let loose a groan and asked, “where the hell are we?”
“Welcome jerkweeds!” Kuzuru answered, turning his head to better project his voice, “welcome to the retard magnet!”
“Well that wasn’t very nice, was it Mal?” Charlie said.
“No it wasn’t,” Mallory shuffled to get a better look at the third man, “sides it looks like you’ve fallen victim to the retard magnet yourself.”
“True, but I’ve at least got my good looks to fall back on you ugly fucks,” Kuzuru said, paused a moment, and added, “sorry if I’m being a bit abrasive, but that tends to fucking happen when you’ve been strapped to a fucking pole for a day and a half.”
Mallory sighed and looked around. The sun had just begun its slow crawl across the sky, which meant that it was early in the morning. Mal figured most everyone was fast asleep after the chaos of last night. Everyone, save for the the pair of sleepy-eyed guards left to watch the prisoners. If they were going to escape, and Mallory was damn well ready to leave, they’d have to act before everyone woke up. “Hey can you fight?” Mal asked Kuzuru who chuckled in response.
“I don’t know, I can probably fight about as well as you can eat dicks, and judging by the looks of you-”
Charles interrupted him, “hey, now you’re just being rude.”
“And what are you going to do if I don’t stop, Lenny?”
There was a moment of silence as everyone processed the insult. Mallory broke the silence, “was, was that a fucking ‘Of Mice and Men’ reference?”
“So what if it was George? You got a fucking problem with it?” Kuzuru said.
“No, fuck, listen,” Mallory spoke, taking a moment to collect his frazzled thoughts, “I can get us out of here, but I need to know you’re going to be on our side okay? We’ve stepped in the same pile of shit and right now we’ve got to clean each other's boots.”
“I ain’t cleaning shit,” the demon’s voice dripped with errant spite.
Even this early in the morning the heat was damn near unbearable. Large droplets of sweat rolled off Kuzuru’s brow and splashed against the thirsty dirt. However, it wasn’t the heat that was making him irritable. No, it was the absolute absence of substance that his imprisonment brought. After all he barely even had a chance to play around in his new body and he was already tied up. Ahanu’s constant pandering to peace and harmony also grated on the demon’s sensibilities. With a dejected sigh Kuzuru spoke again, “alright jerkweeds, I wanna get out of here let’s start over. Hi! I’m Kuzuru, a soul-swallowing demon of battle, nice to make your acquaintance!”
“Fucking finally,” Mallory sighed.
“I’m Charles and the other bloke’s name is Mallory, we’re bounty hunters, we are.” Charlie said.
“Great,” Kuzuru said, “now how the fuck do we get out of here?”
There was a moment of shuffling as Mal wiggled against the rope binding them. An audible snip and the ropes around Mallory fell limp. With a careful eye on the half-asleep guards Mal reached over any untied Charlie’s ropes and then Kuzuru’s. Mallory began to speak, but was interrupted by his two companions unleashing their respective battle cries and bumrushing the startled guards. A flash of blood leaped into the air as Kuzuru impaled the first one on his arm-blade. Charlie’s massive body enveloped the other guard; his meaty hands grabbed the coyotle’s wrists and with a sickening crack he slammed his head against the poor guard’s skull. The demon grinned and licked a bead of blood from his weapon.
“Preciate the help kiddos, but I’ve got a score to settle with these assholes” Kuzuru said before turning his back on the two, “you two better stay the fuck out of my way.”
Charles waited for the demon to leave earshot before he remarked, “what an absolute wanker.”
“Yeah,” Mallory agreed. He turned his thoughts towards their bounty. They couldn’t leave just quite yet, Mallory figured, Ahanu had confiscated Charlie’s gun and more importantly his phone. So they’d kill two birds with one stone. First they had to find their gear, and then they’d tear the camp apart to find their mark. It was a straightforward, and hopefully easy, plan. The hunter silently thanked Kuzuru, he’d provide a nice distraction while they scrambled to collect their gear. “Come on Charlie,” Mallory said, patting his companion on the back, “let’s get going, we’ve got work to do.”
The rising sun shook the duo awake from their respective slumbers. Heat mixed with a headache worse than any hangover and left Mallory in a dizzying ache. The drugs in Charles’s system finally started to wear off. His mouth was dry and he felt a vague sense of failure as he tried to piece together what had happened. Their arms were bound to a massive stake in the ground. Both hunters could sense the presence of a third person tied to the wooden pole.Mallory let loose a groan and asked, “where the hell are we?”
“Welcome jerkweeds!” Kuzuru answered, turning his head to better project his voice, “welcome to the retard magnet!”
“Well that wasn’t very nice, was it Mal?” Charlie said.
“No it wasn’t,” Mallory shuffled to get a better look at the third man, “sides it looks like you’ve fallen victim to the retard magnet yourself.”
“True, but I’ve at least got my good looks to fall back on you ugly fucks,” Kuzuru said, paused a moment, and added, “sorry if I’m being a bit abrasive, but that tends to fucking happen when you’ve been strapped to a fucking pole for a day and a half.”
Mallory sighed and looked around. The sun had just begun its slow crawl across the sky, which meant that it was early in the morning. Mal figured most everyone was fast asleep after the chaos of last night. Everyone, save for the the pair of sleepy-eyed guards left to watch the prisoners. If they were going to escape, and Mallory was damn well ready to leave, they’d have to act before everyone woke up. “Hey can you fight?” Mal asked Kuzuru who chuckled in response.
“I don’t know, I can probably fight about as well as you can eat dicks, and judging by the looks of you-”
Charles interrupted him, “hey, now you’re just being rude.”
“And what are you going to do if I don’t stop, Lenny?”
There was a moment of silence as everyone processed the insult. Mallory broke the silence, “was, was that a fucking ‘Of Mice and Men’ reference?”
“So what if it was George? You got a fucking problem with it?” Kuzuru said.
“No, fuck, listen,” Mallory spoke, taking a moment to collect his frazzled thoughts, “I can get us out of here, but I need to know you’re going to be on our side okay? We’ve stepped in the same pile of shit and right now we’ve got to clean each other's boots.”
“I ain’t cleaning shit,” the demon’s voice dripped with errant spite.
Even this early in the morning the heat was damn near unbearable. Large droplets of sweat rolled off Kuzuru’s brow and splashed against the thirsty dirt. However, it wasn’t the heat that was making him irritable. No, it was the absolute absence of substance that his imprisonment brought. After all he barely even had a chance to play around in his new body and he was already tied up. Ahanu’s constant pandering to peace and harmony also grated on the demon’s sensibilities. With a dejected sigh Kuzuru spoke again, “alright jerkweeds, I wanna get out of here let’s start over. Hi! I’m Kuzuru, a soul-swallowing demon of battle, nice to make your acquaintance!”
“Fucking finally,” Mallory sighed.
“I’m Charles and the other bloke’s name is Mallory, we’re bounty hunters, we are.” Charlie said.
“Great,” Kuzuru said, “now how the fuck do we get out of here?”
There was a moment of shuffling as Mal wiggled against the rope binding them. An audible snip and the ropes around Mallory fell limp. With a careful eye on the half-asleep guards Mal reached over any untied Charlie’s ropes and then Kuzuru’s. Mallory began to speak, but was interrupted by his two companions unleashing their respective battle cries and bumrushing the startled guards. A flash of blood leaped into the air as Kuzuru impaled the first one on his arm-blade. Charlie’s massive body enveloped the other guard; his meaty hands grabbed the coyotle’s wrists and with a sickening crack he slammed his head against the poor guard’s skull. The demon grinned and licked a bead of blood from his weapon.
“Preciate the help kiddos, but I’ve got a score to settle with these assholes” Kuzuru said before turning his back on the two, “you two better stay the fuck out of my way.”
Charles waited for the demon to leave earshot before he remarked, “what an absolute wanker.”
“Yeah,” Mallory agreed. He turned his thoughts towards their bounty. They couldn’t leave just quite yet, Mallory figured, Ahanu had confiscated Charlie’s gun and more importantly his phone. So they’d kill two birds with one stone. First they had to find their gear, and then they’d tear the camp apart to find their mark. It was a straightforward, and hopefully easy, plan. The hunter silently thanked Kuzuru, he’d provide a nice distraction while they scrambled to collect their gear. “Come on Charlie,” Mallory said, patting his companion on the back, “let’s get going, we’ve got work to do.”