10-31-2017, 08:09 AM
I'm not going to lie to make someone feel better, but there's a difference between saying something like each of the following:
"Your cooking sucks."
"This tastes disgusting."
"It's too salty."
"It could do with less time on the hob."
(Although some people can't take criticism no matter how it's phrased.)
And then for starting potential arguments and the like, I've usually found it's usually better to say something like, "I read somewhere that..." Or "I always thought..." Etc. (As long as you don't say you learnt it in school as a kid, because then you're blatantly insinuating they're stupid - and even if true, it's bad etiquette).
As opposed to starting out by saying someone is wrong or they're mistaken, or that you're right, etc. (With the exception of when they claimed something about you, or what you've done, so in those cases you're the authority on the matter, so saying someone is wrong or mistaken is totally cool.)
The latter will be taken as a person attack by some people and will usual make you look like a dick. And, should you actually be wrong or mistaken, you will look like an idiot. While with the former, you can often make someone realise they're wrong by themselves, unless the matter is highly subjective when you probably shouldn't have started arguing over it.
Obviously though, like with the eggs, there's not really a nice way to phrase it without lying. I probably would have said the same as you Jade, since I wasn't the one the throw them out so I wouldn't be in the wrong. But that might also be because I genuinely like finding fault in my mother, since she's always so insistent in always being right, or in the right. Probably a bad attitude for me to have, but it's not as prevalent as I made it sound.
But, I'll still lie. Particularly if it'll deal with a situation I don't care about a lot quicker, or if I stand something to gain, but that's if I'm pretty sure it won't come back to me later.
I'm always careful about the last part, since I told one lie when I was like 10-12ish and got caught out for it (probably told my parents I'd done my homework when I hadn't or something). Wasn't even anything big, but I got accused of something else shortly after, and since I was the resident liar it was obviously me. So, from there, I was basically the scapegoat for minor things. Never really cared because I wasn't ever punished, just blamed. But it was kind of annoying. Made me feel like a proper detective when I proved my innocence one time though, but if chocolate at home went missing it was still always my fault apparently.
Because of that, my parents think I'm a bad liar, when I'm really not. Which basically means I could lie to them whenever I want and they probably would never know. Not that I do, unless I stand something to gain, or it'll stop them worrying about me.
That said, lying is kinda fun. In a strange way. Like, seeing how long it'll be before someone catches you out. Hence why I like bluff based games such as Werewolves and Mafia. But, I ain't gonna lie about something important, even if it's to cover something dumb I did. I tend to take my crappy choices with me. None of that, "I accidentally left my homework at home" stuff.
"Your cooking sucks."
"This tastes disgusting."
"It's too salty."
"It could do with less time on the hob."
(Although some people can't take criticism no matter how it's phrased.)
And then for starting potential arguments and the like, I've usually found it's usually better to say something like, "I read somewhere that..." Or "I always thought..." Etc. (As long as you don't say you learnt it in school as a kid, because then you're blatantly insinuating they're stupid - and even if true, it's bad etiquette).
As opposed to starting out by saying someone is wrong or they're mistaken, or that you're right, etc. (With the exception of when they claimed something about you, or what you've done, so in those cases you're the authority on the matter, so saying someone is wrong or mistaken is totally cool.)
The latter will be taken as a person attack by some people and will usual make you look like a dick. And, should you actually be wrong or mistaken, you will look like an idiot. While with the former, you can often make someone realise they're wrong by themselves, unless the matter is highly subjective when you probably shouldn't have started arguing over it.
Obviously though, like with the eggs, there's not really a nice way to phrase it without lying. I probably would have said the same as you Jade, since I wasn't the one the throw them out so I wouldn't be in the wrong. But that might also be because I genuinely like finding fault in my mother, since she's always so insistent in always being right, or in the right. Probably a bad attitude for me to have, but it's not as prevalent as I made it sound.
But, I'll still lie. Particularly if it'll deal with a situation I don't care about a lot quicker, or if I stand something to gain, but that's if I'm pretty sure it won't come back to me later.
I'm always careful about the last part, since I told one lie when I was like 10-12ish and got caught out for it (probably told my parents I'd done my homework when I hadn't or something). Wasn't even anything big, but I got accused of something else shortly after, and since I was the resident liar it was obviously me. So, from there, I was basically the scapegoat for minor things. Never really cared because I wasn't ever punished, just blamed. But it was kind of annoying. Made me feel like a proper detective when I proved my innocence one time though, but if chocolate at home went missing it was still always my fault apparently.
Because of that, my parents think I'm a bad liar, when I'm really not. Which basically means I could lie to them whenever I want and they probably would never know. Not that I do, unless I stand something to gain, or it'll stop them worrying about me.
That said, lying is kinda fun. In a strange way. Like, seeing how long it'll be before someone catches you out. Hence why I like bluff based games such as Werewolves and Mafia. But, I ain't gonna lie about something important, even if it's to cover something dumb I did. I tend to take my crappy choices with me. None of that, "I accidentally left my homework at home" stuff.