07-09-2016, 11:18 PM
I'm tired.
I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere, not even when among my family and friends. I'm tired of hating the person string back at me in the mirror, of obsessing over what I look like so I can feel like a halfway-decent human being. I'm tired of the nights when I can sleep because of all the thoughts running through my head. Im tired of seeing myself as worthless, but how the hell do I Begin to tell somebody that?
One of my biggest fears is that of abandonment, and every time I even begin to try and tell someone in real life about my fears and how I feel, I'm petrified, and the only thing I can see happening is them leaving me. I've never had many friends, and those I do are very special to me, practically family. But even then, I can't bring myself to tell. The only reason I'm writing this is because Of anonymity.
My nightmares are so real and possible, that sometimes I'm get so scared, I cant eat. Whether it be flashbacks, or situations that seem so likely to happen, that it bleeds into my everyday life. I try to keep a brave face, but that only gets you so far, right? I don't know what to do anymore...
I'm tired of feeling like I don't belong anywhere, not even when among my family and friends. I'm tired of hating the person string back at me in the mirror, of obsessing over what I look like so I can feel like a halfway-decent human being. I'm tired of the nights when I can sleep because of all the thoughts running through my head. Im tired of seeing myself as worthless, but how the hell do I Begin to tell somebody that?
One of my biggest fears is that of abandonment, and every time I even begin to try and tell someone in real life about my fears and how I feel, I'm petrified, and the only thing I can see happening is them leaving me. I've never had many friends, and those I do are very special to me, practically family. But even then, I can't bring myself to tell. The only reason I'm writing this is because Of anonymity.
My nightmares are so real and possible, that sometimes I'm get so scared, I cant eat. Whether it be flashbacks, or situations that seem so likely to happen, that it bleeds into my everyday life. I try to keep a brave face, but that only gets you so far, right? I don't know what to do anymore...