The Green Shield of Camelot

[Isabelle]

As I tread across the white void, one thing became apparent… I really had to pee.

Like really bad.

I forgotten that I was taken to this place while I was napping. I always need to pee after a long nap. Makes me wonder why more protagonists that wake up into an adventure don’t have this problem.

Looking around, outside the fountain and the occasional person, I couldn’t see any structure to indicate an outhouse. Not even a single bush to be heard of. Do people just don’t pee in this universe? I had to hold it for two hours straight as I walked to the designated structure, hoping to Toriel that it has a toilet or something. My bladder was filled to burst.

Finally making it to my destination, I was disappointed to see what looked like an archway made of stone. Still nothing that looked like a toilet. Hoping it was a magical portal or something, I ran into it without looking.

When I opened my eyes again, I was briefly blinded by daylight.

Well, this place has one thing over the Underground at least.

As my eyes adjusted I saw I was standing on a long dirt road expanding into grass covered hills and lush forests. A signpost designated which route would lead you. I didn’t read it as I was distracted by a greater need.

“Bushes!” I yell out.

The lush green brush that lined a nearby forest would mark my savior. It doesn’t match up to an actual toilet, but I wasn’t really picky at the moment.

I quickly ran towards them, my bladder burning in strain. As soon as I was obscured by the leaves, I got to business and relieved myself. I got some strange looks from the armor clad men and the merchants. While they couldn’t see what I was doing, it was pretty obvious what was happening. I didn’t care, this was an emergency, and not my fault I don’t have a bladder of steel like they do.

“Hey! Hey! Hey! You’re pissing all over my house!” A small voice yelled up.

A little man with bug like wings flew up to my face. Realizing I wasn’t private anymore, I hastily put my shorts back on, but while doing so, I noticed I had been squating over a tiny house with a white picket fence, which was now covered in pee. The man really got in my face, and the distinct smell of urine emanated from him.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t see you there.” I said, embarrassed.

“Sorry won’t clean my house, get lost!” He yelled as he flew back to his house.

With my shorts back on, I broke from the bushes and got back to the clearing with the road, not wanting to deal with this situation. I’ve talked my way out of situations before, but this one was beyond me.

As soon as I was clear from the forest, I suddenly heard a high pitched laugh.

“That was quite a show little one!”

I looked around for the source but didn’t have to look to far. It was a little green man with a large crooked nose, large sharp teeth, and ragged clothing.

“What kind of monster are you?” I asked.

“Monster? Who are you calling a monster?” He asked angrily.

“Oh, I’m sorry.” I responded apologetically. “I guess that word is a less than PC term in this world.”

The little man chuckled.

“New to the Omniverse, I see!” He said extending a hand. “My names Cho’kin. Nice to meet such a strange human.”

“Frisk.” I said, reaching out to shaking his hand. “What’s the Omniverse?”

“Oh boy, you have a lot to learn, human.” He said, giving another chuckle. “Well, you amuse me, so let me give you the full tour!”

We continued down the road as I followed the direction my soul was taking me. Little did I know the danger that awaited ahead.