Hoshi no Guu (Star Piece Quest) (M)

[Guu]

“The nerve of some people!” He yelled, throwing his hands in the air as he stormed through the smoke covered grounds. Encroaching fast were five trailers, all fitted to look like they were made of stone brick. He marched into one of the campers and slammed the door shut behind him.

Still fuming, he sat down and pulled out his wood engraved phone. He started listening to some indie rock band no one has ever heard of singing about a guy drowning in a lake that’s funneling into a giant wood chipper. If this were not text on the page, we’d have to censor the album photo.

He leaned back in his polyester purple swivelling computer chair as he takes a puff out of a large marijuana cigar. He sighed in irritation, those things stopped working months ago. He waited a few minutes, just giving every hopeless chance for the drug to take effect. He passed the time by looking over his large figurine collection; Amiibo, or at least the Omniverse equivalent, all still in their original packaging. His eyes fixed on a pretty pink princess like character in a long pink dress.

‘If only Princesses in the Omniverse were like the ones from the stories.’ He thought, he blew a puff of smoke upwards before looking back down at the figure. ‘A foxy babe like that, now that’s a leader I can get behind.’

It annoyed the hell out of him. The only princesses he could think of was a racist midget back home, a strange four-legged deer thing in the Astral Realm, and the abomination that appeared on his doorstep. Not a single one of them had a decent rack of any kind.

‘The Princesses were always beautiful in the stories.’ He lamented.

A moment of silence revealed his melancholy, and out of anger towards his vulnerability, he tossed the cigar in a nearby ashtray so hard that it bounced off of it and onto his desk. Looking for anything that’ll ease his mind, he dropped to his knees and found a large safe hidden under his desk. Reaching over, he tapped a number of buttons on the mounted keypad and the door to it popped open with a click.

Sitting inside the safe was piles upon piles of documents, maps, and notes. In one scoop with his hand, he pulled it out and plopped it on the top of his desk. He sat back in his chair and reclined, staring deeply at the paper. Nothing was more beautiful than his work. The location of the star piece, all his research, in his eyes it was more lovely than any flower, than any woman even. Finally, he could feel his joy return to him, as a smile crept across his face. It’s something about the work that you personally put everything into that really catches your admiration.

But, his joy wouldn’t last as suddenly, blood and guts started to practically climb up his desk. He didn’t notice it at first as his rug was burgundy, but now it was rolling up the sides of his work area like some sort of gory reverse waterfall, with little chunks of body parts floating in the mix. He was kind of frozen in confusion at first, but then he rolled back in fright as a still beating heart floated up. With every beat, it spat out a flow of blood, like some really disgusting supersoaker. He barely got out of the way before he could get splattered with blood himself.

As the blood and guts formed on the top of the table, they made a circle around the documents. It was around this point that he finally put it together.

“No!” He yelled out, but it was too late.

The gore suddenly transformed into a mouth which closed around the paper like a bear trap. From the mouth formed the rest of Guu’s body, just slowly rising up from the middle of the desk. As soon as her dull black eyes were at eye level with the man, she swallowed, his documents sliding down her throat in a large lump.

“You bitch!” He yelled. “What did you do? What did you do to my research!”

“I ate it.” She said casually.

“GUARDS!” He screamed.