Hoshi no Guu (Star Piece Quest) (M)

[Guu]

She so wanted to punch him. She’d give anything to punch him. Just everything about the way he carried himself, the way he introduced himself, just made her fist itch for a facial collision. However, she did her best to curb her cravings. If scaring the shit out of a guard was considered a diplomacy nightmare, she couldn’t imagine what punching Mr. Kuechley would do.

Instead, she gritted her teeth, and bowed down a little bit, lifting a bit of her skirt in a curtsey. When her eyes faced the man again, they were in full social face. Her eyes were a gleaming expressive red hue, her hair became looser; flowing, and she sported the biggest smile she could muster.

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, too!” She said in a sweet voice, one that felt painfully forced coming from her lips. Usually her social face seemed to have a mind of its own, but right this second, her old face was fighting back with a vengeance.

“Sorry about the smoke.” He stated. “A little bit of incense to mask the smell of this place.”

Her fist quivered, her blood was now boiling, she didn’t know how she was holding back anymore. She felt like she could explode. Even her feet were shaking, ready to lunge forward at her annoying prey.

“So you’re here for my astronomy expertise? I’ve been in this field for a long time.”

Her head was now accompanied by a screaming headache. To hell with diplomacy, she had to say something, she wouldn’t last long like this. She had to say something to this cretin.

“Why would there be astronomers in the Omniverse?” She yelled out.

Her moogle friend waved to her to stop, fearful of another faux pas, but Luke was already turning to face her, his face was stern.

“What do you mean?”

“Well we’ve known for a long time that the sky is fake. Like if you just fly high enough, you’d just hit the edge of the verse, so the stars are just an illusion created by Omni to create immersion.”

“Well-”

“The only reason you’d study them is to see if Omni is leaving messages for us in them, and that’s an entirely different field than astronomy. That’s closer to astrology than astronomy. What’s the point of your-”

“It’s important now!” He interrupted, his voice erratic. “If we didn’t have Astronomers, who would investigate the star pieces?”

Guu just cocked her head. Pitchen was running his finger across his neck, trying to signal to her, but she never turned her gaze from the man. Her eyes, now fully returned to their dull lifeless state, pierced right through him like duel blades. There was no more lying.

“What were you doing until now, Mr. Kuechley? What advancements have you made in the field before now?”

Kuechley’s scowl wore heavy, his face was red as a tomato. He did not reply, he just glared right back at the princess, pure rage in his eyes.

“No examples? None whatsoever?” She said, but Luke finally broke his silence.

“I’ll have you know that the Kingdom recruited me! They recruited me from the empire!”

“Ooh, I touched on a nerve there.” She said, calm as a cucumber. She couldn’t help but feel a bit of satisfaction surfacing amongst her overwhelming wrath. “Just admit it, the only reason you’re in the field to begin with is because it’s ironic. It makes you feel special, but what is makes you is a nuisance. You think the orcs here like the smoke? You think the Camelotians appreciate your meme t-shirt relating them to shit, or your pointless job? Anyone actually qualified could be doing this research assignment right now, but instead, they have a lowlife who wants to play games and waste everyone’s time.”

From the look on the man’s face, he looked like he would have been blowing steam from his ears, but for the longest second, he couldn’t respond. Finally, once again, he broke his silence.

“Escort the Princess and her minion from the premises. They are not welcome in my sanctuary anymore.”

With that, he pops his collar and starts walking away, disappearing into the smoke once more. His guard, still shaken from his earlier experience, slowly approached the two.

“O-okay, it’s time to go.” He said. He wasn’t even within five feet before he stopped, just waving his arms in a shooing position. Guu turned to her companion.

“You go ahead and leave, I’ve got a bit more business to attend to here.” She explained. The moogle glared at her.

“But he told us to leave.” He replied, his voice barely made out the words as he looks up towards the guard, intimidated.

“Don’t worry, I’ll be good.”

You know how I said her blood was boiling? I meant that literally. Her veins were expanding from the sheer pressure. This whole time, she was compressing her organs to hide the effect from sight, but she couldn’t hold it anymore. Suddenly, she inflates like a balloon, followed by a loud pop. She explodes into little Guu chunks that fly everywhere. Pitchen and the guard just stand there, frozen in horror as blood and entrails rain from the sky.