Hoshi no Guu (Star Piece Quest) (M)

[Guu]

Pitchen stepped forward towards his customer. He unraveled his bindle to reveal a plastic bag full of styrofoam containers. The hunky guard reach down to pluck it from his paws.

“Everything ya like, just as ordered!” The moogle said, pleased of a job well done.

“Thanks bro!” He responded, before turning his attention towards the odd one of the group. “And who might you be?”

“Guu.” She said plainly. Weary of stating her title, she hoped her name alone would get the job done. The hunk gazed blankly into space as if in a trance. His brain slowly booted up information. Suddenly, in a jolt, he jumps back five feet as his arms shot back as far as they could.

“Woah, you mean, THE Guu, as in Princess of Ambrosia, Guu?”

“The genuine article.” She said, a manner of blase in her voice. The guard looked over towards Pitchen who gave him a nod. This simple confirmation only caused more of a reaction as his face contorted in horrifying ways and his jaw dropped so hard, you’d be surprised it was still hinged to his face.

In a moment, almost so fast that it caused the moogle to jump back an inch, he fell to his knees. He took Guu’s arm stump and kissed what he believe was the back of it.

“It is an honor to have you here, your highness!”

The pink anomaly flattened out her hand to escape his grasp, then she latched her tentacle like arms around the man, lifting him in the air. She placed him on his feet, leaving him shocked and horrified. Even Pitchen stood there in disbelief at what had transpired. He knew all well about his ruler’s antics, but they are still bizarre to encounter in real life.

“We don’t do hand kissing unless if it were asked of you.” Guu explained, as if the hunk committed a faux pas.

“O-oh.” The guard said, quivering in place. He took a second, breathing hard as the words worked to escape his lips. “I’ll go get the boss!”

With that, he ran off, disappearing in the endless smoke.

Pitchen looked towards his princess, concern in his gaze.

“Pardon my bluntness your highness,” he started, gulping hard before continuing. “But that wasn’t very diplomatic of you”

“Neither was hitting on me.” Guu said, plainly,

“Hi-hitting on you?” The moogle replied, his head cocking on one side.

“I know it’s hard to resist my feminine wiles, but some people need to learn control.”

The merchant just stood there, stunned stiff at the conversation that had just transpired. He took another second before he could compose himself.

“He wasn’t hitting-” he stopped himself. There was a more important matter to discuss. “These people represent Camelot. It’s best to play the field and try to be nice to them. They could be our allies one day and these kind of actions might bite us down the line.”

Guu was silent. Her mind raced for a counter argument. However pitchen went on the offensive.

“Remember when you trolled Gilgamesh on Twitter? The war that came from that?”

She sighed heavily. She knew he was right. While the fight did lead to good things, it was hardly a success in how it all began.

‘What happened to the days when I could just mind control my problems away?’ She thought.

“Are you okay?” Her train of thought was broken at the sound of the voice. She turned to look at her companion only to be greeted by the look of a concerned Moogle. “I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings, I didn’t mean to be so blunt and bring up bad memories like that.”

“Oh. No. It’s fine, it needed to be said.”

One of the things she feared most out of her leadership role was the limits to her freedom. She was so used to doing anything without consequence that suddenly having the fate of a whole kingdom relying on your words was quite a leap. She wished she could have had at least a breathing period, but we all know that subtlety was never her thing, and apparently that was true with the circumstances around her.

Her train of thought was once again broken by the guard stepping out from the smoke, followed by what she could only describe as the most hodgepodge of a man in existence. At first thought, she thought he was just dressing of his culture as he had a long curly white wig, a dark blue waist coat, and buckle shoes. However, on closer inspection, he wore a t-shirt under his coat that read “I -poo emoji- Camelot” and he was clearly wearing blue jeans. The biggest give away was his trilby sitting on top of his head. It was like a hipster wanted to emulate the style of a Salem witch trial court judge and gave up halfway.

The guard took a second for his shakes to subside before speaking again.

“This is my b-boss.” He couldn’t even get his words completely out before the shivering kicked in again.

The man tipped his trilby at Guu.

“My Princess.” He said smugly. “My name is Luke Kuechley. It’s a pleasure.”