04-27-2016, 11:38 AM
"Whyyyyy"
Dr. McNinja hopped backwards, drawing his katana and preparing himself for combat.
"Why does crap like this happen every single time I set out?"
A tuft of grimy hair swayed from under the swamp. As it slowly drift to the surface, the hair led to a rotten scalp, which led to a rotting head, which led- you get the point. Three humanoid sludges were now sidling towards the doctor.
"Ohhh," Doc muttered, "That's where the bubles are from. The bubbles are monster farts."
Bits of swamp oozed out of the large cavities in the figures. As the grime poured out, the good doctor whistled at Yoshi to wake her up. Noticing the monsters approaching them, Yoshi reeled backwards and screeched, groggily backing up. Doc twilred his katana apprehensively.
"You don't happen to be good guys, do you?"
The creatures were almost clear of the swamp. They moved hilariously slowly, but despite what appeared to be disintegrating flesh, gray from rigor mortis, the creatures moved deliberately.
"Okay, so you're mud zombies or something. That's fine. I can do mud zomb-"
"EEEEIIIAHHHH"
Dr. McNinja couldn't move. He was literally paralyzed. No matter how much he wanted to raise his katana and hack the mud zombies to all hell, he could not move a muscle. Yoshi seemed to suffer from the same effects: mid-screech, she was standing still, almost statuesque, mouth gaping. The zombies were now getting very close, maybe about a meter away. Dr. McNinja was screaming inside. He couldn't move at all. His brain felt disconnected from his body. His eyes started watering, maybe because he was scared, or maybe because he couldn't even blink. He was stuck there, helplessly watching these monsters approach to presumably eat him.
Doc's ears started ringing. The paralysis was somehow affecting his hearing. He was starting to become groggy, and it took all of his energy to just process his senses. His vision was cloudy, and his hands were falling asleep. He couldn't hear anything unless he focused on the sounds. Blood was building up in his temples, threatening to burst. Soon enough, Dr. McNinja could hear nothing but his own heartbeat.
Out of nowhere, something sharp cut through, the auditory equivalent of a longsword driving through whatever was blockading his eardrums, and popping them. As Doc collapsed in a cold sweat, he heard the sound of trumpets. They were playing, in unison, a three-note tune twice. Doc shut his eyes and his fingers quivered slightly upon his command. He could move again.
He looked up. The three zombies were paralyzed themselves, and were turning a sickly shade of blue. Doc smiled. "I love when ghosts turn blue."
Dr. McNinja lunged forward, driving his blade into the middle zombie's face, instantly killing it. The other two watched with their soulless, unmoving eyes as Doc used that zombie's shoulders to launch himself into the air, leaving the sword sheathed in its face.
"Oh, and uh..."
Doc pulled out four ninja stars from his coat pockets.
"You might feel a small pinch."
He threw them at the zombies, all four landing in the undead's scalps. Doc landed on his feet and pulled his chainsaw nunchucks basically out of nowhere. He gripped the handles tightly as they automatically started buzzing dangerously. Ever since he practiced using this thing, he never had the opportunity to properly use them.
Hell, what better time than the present?
The blue faded away, and the two remaining zombies' joints jerked stiffly into an assault position, as if they were undead automatons getting its joints oiled. One of them tried to claw at Doc from behind. Doc let go of the left saw, letting it swing in a deadly arc behind him, shredding off the arm. He caught the saw with the same hand, and thrust both into the other's head, completely ripping it apart. The one behind him was about to slash with the other arm, so Doc lightly hopped into the air, spinning the nunchucks, slashing the zombie four times.
"Rest in pieces," Doc muttered, putting away the nunchucks.
He carefully made his way to the zombie with his katana still stuck inside it. He pulled it out, cleaning off the indeterminate grossness with a handkerchief.
*clink*
Doc froze, this time voluntarily. His eyes shot to the right, searching his peripherals for the source of the noise. His instincts told him there was a group of people hiding in that direction, but his stunted abilities could only tell him so much.
So he just called out, "Well, feel free to come out whenever."
A small area shimmered as four figures magically appeared. They were wearing black cloaks that covered them head to toe. One of them was holding a large and formidable crossbow.
"Oh," Doc gulped, "Um... hi."
The man with the crossbow stepped forward. "Who are you?"
"I'm a traveler."
"How did you kill those Redeads?"
"Uh..." Doc paused to think. The Redeads, presumably were the screaming zombies. "I uh... cut them lots."
One of the spies started whispering to the crossbowman. "Captain, we cannot trust him. It takes at least two of our best men to kill one Redead. If he's one of them-"
"Peace, Gerard."
The captain scanned Dr. McNinja. "Are you a Prime?"
"Yeah," Doc scowled. "Will that be a problem?"
"That's up to you."
Dr. McNinja shrugged. "Were they yours?"
"The Redeads?" the captain laughed, "You must be new around here. Nobody can control the Redeads, except maybe the blasted Count himself."
"Count Dracul-"
"No!"
Doc seized his sword. The other three raised their own longswords. The captain briskly raised his hand, and his men slowly lowered their arms.
"My apologies," the captain whispered, "But it's important that we don't say his name."
Doc frowned. "What, like a 'He Who Shall Not Be Named' type thing?"
The captain paused. "I suppose so. Yes."
Dr. McNinja scanned them. Medieval longswords. Fighting zombies. Afraid of Dracula.
"Hang on," Doc scoffed, "Are you guys from Darkshire or whatever?"
The cloaked figures shuffled uncomfortably. The captain finally nodded to the others and removed his - actually, her cloak.
"I am Captain Lilian of Darkshire," she said, "And I'd very much appreciate your help with something."
Dr. McNinja hopped backwards, drawing his katana and preparing himself for combat.
"Why does crap like this happen every single time I set out?"
A tuft of grimy hair swayed from under the swamp. As it slowly drift to the surface, the hair led to a rotten scalp, which led to a rotting head, which led- you get the point. Three humanoid sludges were now sidling towards the doctor.
"Ohhh," Doc muttered, "That's where the bubles are from. The bubbles are monster farts."
Bits of swamp oozed out of the large cavities in the figures. As the grime poured out, the good doctor whistled at Yoshi to wake her up. Noticing the monsters approaching them, Yoshi reeled backwards and screeched, groggily backing up. Doc twilred his katana apprehensively.
"You don't happen to be good guys, do you?"
The creatures were almost clear of the swamp. They moved hilariously slowly, but despite what appeared to be disintegrating flesh, gray from rigor mortis, the creatures moved deliberately.
"Okay, so you're mud zombies or something. That's fine. I can do mud zomb-"
"EEEEIIIAHHHH"
Dr. McNinja couldn't move. He was literally paralyzed. No matter how much he wanted to raise his katana and hack the mud zombies to all hell, he could not move a muscle. Yoshi seemed to suffer from the same effects: mid-screech, she was standing still, almost statuesque, mouth gaping. The zombies were now getting very close, maybe about a meter away. Dr. McNinja was screaming inside. He couldn't move at all. His brain felt disconnected from his body. His eyes started watering, maybe because he was scared, or maybe because he couldn't even blink. He was stuck there, helplessly watching these monsters approach to presumably eat him.
Doc's ears started ringing. The paralysis was somehow affecting his hearing. He was starting to become groggy, and it took all of his energy to just process his senses. His vision was cloudy, and his hands were falling asleep. He couldn't hear anything unless he focused on the sounds. Blood was building up in his temples, threatening to burst. Soon enough, Dr. McNinja could hear nothing but his own heartbeat.
Out of nowhere, something sharp cut through, the auditory equivalent of a longsword driving through whatever was blockading his eardrums, and popping them. As Doc collapsed in a cold sweat, he heard the sound of trumpets. They were playing, in unison, a three-note tune twice. Doc shut his eyes and his fingers quivered slightly upon his command. He could move again.
He looked up. The three zombies were paralyzed themselves, and were turning a sickly shade of blue. Doc smiled. "I love when ghosts turn blue."
Dr. McNinja lunged forward, driving his blade into the middle zombie's face, instantly killing it. The other two watched with their soulless, unmoving eyes as Doc used that zombie's shoulders to launch himself into the air, leaving the sword sheathed in its face.
"Oh, and uh..."
Doc pulled out four ninja stars from his coat pockets.
"You might feel a small pinch."
He threw them at the zombies, all four landing in the undead's scalps. Doc landed on his feet and pulled his chainsaw nunchucks basically out of nowhere. He gripped the handles tightly as they automatically started buzzing dangerously. Ever since he practiced using this thing, he never had the opportunity to properly use them.
Hell, what better time than the present?
The blue faded away, and the two remaining zombies' joints jerked stiffly into an assault position, as if they were undead automatons getting its joints oiled. One of them tried to claw at Doc from behind. Doc let go of the left saw, letting it swing in a deadly arc behind him, shredding off the arm. He caught the saw with the same hand, and thrust both into the other's head, completely ripping it apart. The one behind him was about to slash with the other arm, so Doc lightly hopped into the air, spinning the nunchucks, slashing the zombie four times.
"Rest in pieces," Doc muttered, putting away the nunchucks.
He carefully made his way to the zombie with his katana still stuck inside it. He pulled it out, cleaning off the indeterminate grossness with a handkerchief.
*clink*
Doc froze, this time voluntarily. His eyes shot to the right, searching his peripherals for the source of the noise. His instincts told him there was a group of people hiding in that direction, but his stunted abilities could only tell him so much.
So he just called out, "Well, feel free to come out whenever."
A small area shimmered as four figures magically appeared. They were wearing black cloaks that covered them head to toe. One of them was holding a large and formidable crossbow.
"Oh," Doc gulped, "Um... hi."
The man with the crossbow stepped forward. "Who are you?"
"I'm a traveler."
"How did you kill those Redeads?"
"Uh..." Doc paused to think. The Redeads, presumably were the screaming zombies. "I uh... cut them lots."
One of the spies started whispering to the crossbowman. "Captain, we cannot trust him. It takes at least two of our best men to kill one Redead. If he's one of them-"
"Peace, Gerard."
The captain scanned Dr. McNinja. "Are you a Prime?"
"Yeah," Doc scowled. "Will that be a problem?"
"That's up to you."
Dr. McNinja shrugged. "Were they yours?"
"The Redeads?" the captain laughed, "You must be new around here. Nobody can control the Redeads, except maybe the blasted Count himself."
"Count Dracul-"
"No!"
Doc seized his sword. The other three raised their own longswords. The captain briskly raised his hand, and his men slowly lowered their arms.
"My apologies," the captain whispered, "But it's important that we don't say his name."
Doc frowned. "What, like a 'He Who Shall Not Be Named' type thing?"
The captain paused. "I suppose so. Yes."
Dr. McNinja scanned them. Medieval longswords. Fighting zombies. Afraid of Dracula.
"Hang on," Doc scoffed, "Are you guys from Darkshire or whatever?"
The cloaked figures shuffled uncomfortably. The captain finally nodded to the others and removed his - actually, her cloak.
"I am Captain Lilian of Darkshire," she said, "And I'd very much appreciate your help with something."
![[Image: 665000_mcninja_by_cavenglok-dch0qt5.jpg]](https://orig00.deviantart.net/3590/f/2018/193/c/8/665000_mcninja_by_cavenglok-dch0qt5.jpg)
Odd hours. Call for appointment.