Move Creation Workshop

[Demetri Malius]

Creatia:
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Okay, so I really needed to streamline Creatia's Basic Move to be more specific and change the dimensions to be truer to an actual naginata. So after some tweaking, I think I have something. I just wanted to see if the new version was enough to post in the move approval thread, and also if it and the old version needed any tweaks.

Coriana (Physical Strength): A three and a half foot naginata with a long and curved blade, decored with two silver-white wings, fur trim, and a large blue mana crystal called Soul in the center. A small Soul gem tips the very bottom of the staff as well. It’s very cumbersome and hard to maneuver because of its top heavy design, and requires the user to stand still for five to ten seconds in order to summon it. Coriana is used for mid and long-range melee attacks, which tires out the user if used for an extended period of time. It is also a powerful catalyst for potion spellcasting because of the two Soul gems.

Coriana [Princess Blade] (Physical Strength, 300 OM):

Sizing up to 5 feet and 10 inches total with a curved 18-inch blade, Coriana [meaning "princess" in Deniko] looks like the successful fusion of a naginata and a mage's staff. Two stylized silver-white wings stretch from a fur trimmed hilt to frame half of the blade in a circular arc. Embedded into the fur and placed flush against the blunt edge is a blue, marquise-shaped crystal called Soul. A smaller Soul shard also tips the end of the light blue shaft.

It’s very cumbersome and hard to maneuver because of its top heavy and fanciful design. The user must keep still for 30-60 seconds of concentration in order to summon it initially. Afterwards, it can be carried outside of battle and put away at will; resummoning it requires 5 seconds of focus. Coriana is used for mid and long-range melee attacks (maximum range being its full length give or take her extended arm), which tires out the user if used for an extended period of time. It is also an untapped catalyst for casting because of the two Soul gems.

This looks fine, only thing that I would say would be that for the initial summoning time, try to stick to something solid like just 30 seconds, there's not much need to make it variable. If the catalyst is only fodder for your other moves to work, then it's fine with it's 300 pricing as well. Would approve.
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Sarah
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Spite - 300 OM


Kerrigan spends two seconds concentrating, which she may do while running or moving, but not while preparing other moves, before creating a clear bubble of energy (Roughly two inches in diameter)  within one hand. Kerrigan can then point it at an opponent and fire it at the speed of an arrow. the attack actually does very little damage to the opponent - something closer to what a weak punch would do, but the telepathic energies inlaid within the energy ball will make it feel far worse. The energy ball will feel initially as though it's burned a hole the size of the bubble in the affected area, and while this doesn't impair the opponent's ability to move or fight directly, the phantom feeling that their body has a grievous injury will persist for roughly a minute.

How's this look?

Yukki seems to have this one mostly down for what you  need, but I would also think that the duration of the effect be a bit shorter, a minute for a 2 second charge move might be a little much, especially if its supposed to feel as painful as it is. In addition, does this pain immediately stop/fade when the time is up or does it gradually wear off within that time?
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Aegis
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Hack: 300 OM


(Human form, requires Debuff)


Damir opens up an interface and send a malicious script into his opponent, requiring only a few seconds. This script at the very least (with an opponent who has the same TEC as him) disables the current basic move the opponent is using.


Is this allowed?

Disabling a single move is allowed, but you need to have quite a few downsides for it. Something like this would immediately get denied. Try adding a longer time to "hack a person", having it require you to stand still, interrupted by attacks, a number of things must be added for you do disable a move. After all, some people dont have that many. As perhaps a viisualization of the effect, maybe include a description for how it works with moves, perhaps it makes weapon dissolve into omnilium or malfunction, maybe even the target feeling weak with their fists if its a punch move.  Include how it is supposed to work, otherwise it feels like a game mechanic.
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Luci:
[spoiler]

SuperPhase- 300 OM- Requires Phasing

Description: Luci pours her energy into her Phasing power, momentarily causing herself and a large object (or several people) she is touching to become incorporeal. Luci can only stay incorporeal as long as she is holding her breath; likewise she can only sustain SuperPhase while she holds her breath (about 20 seconds). A rough estimate of the power is that Luci can make four allies and a seven-foot-diamter circle around her incorporeal, but another way to play the limits of the power is poetically; Luci turns her immediate surroundings and allies incorporeal, even if that's on a flying carpet that's longer than seven feet. Luci cannot use this power on structures. Luci can use this power on an enemy she is grappling. Immediately after exhaling and becoming corporeal, Luci is knocked unconscious.


Ehh?

Something of that calibur is gonna be a supermove, no doubt. Not only that, but it will require Area Shield and most likely Buff proficicency. In addition, form what it looks like, there are 3 different uses, one for touching, one for area, and one for enemy, this would  equate to three different typoes of uses, so thats gonna affect the cost. I woulsd say if you want something more as a move, you would need something that requires a large downside(i wouldnt recommend passing out, thats basically an autoloss for you or makes you deadweight for your allies)

As a reccomendation, I would say this:

Supermove:

SuperPhase(Tier-1 Super Defense, 600, Requires Area Shield, Phasing[possibly buff as well])
Luci stops in place and focuses her mind for about 7 seconds, a aura emminating from her and increasing by one foot per second , in which all allies become incorporeal, negating damage dealt to them but also preventing their attacks from dealing damage. This lasts for ten seconds, whereafter Luci must retract the aura and take a breather, having used much of her energy


Move:

Friendly Phasing(600,Requires Area Shield,Area Attack, Phasing[possibly buff as well])
Luci is able to place a hand on an ally, taking a second to concentrate and phase them both, though they can only travel at a walking pace. This can only last up to ten seconds, as it is very draining on Luci. Alternatively, she can use this on an enemy, forcing her and her target to be unable to attack for that same time. Cannot cancel supermoves.

Not sure if this will get approved, due to trying to phase others, but if it does, this will be your best bet at it. Be wary that you cannot phase through people, only physical atacks and objects. Energy attacks can still hit you as well, unless they have changed that.
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