04-09-2016, 07:13 PM
The cameras went live, and a beautiful brunette woman stood before them with her microphone in hand. Behind her was the grand bombsketball court, with music blaring in from the speakers as the pregame entertainment was underway. The seats were full, and she was grateful that the Koopa Kingdom was allowing her network to broadcast this game. This was pretty unheard of, so she had to do it right. She cleared her throat, and the cameraman went live.
“Good evening, viewers! I’m Brianne Salter and this is another broadcast from the Vasty Sports Network!” she announced with beaming energy. “Tonight we have a very special presentation! The Koopa Kingdom has graciously allowed us to show their thrilling sport of bombsketball!”
The camera zoomed out just a touch, to show that she was standing next to Ashton, the blond haired captain of one of the teams. Ashton, however, paid no attention to the camera, and was instead staring intently at Brianne. When the reporter turned to face him, she jumped when she realized how close he was standing.
“Sup, girl?” the man asked casually, as if he weren’t about to participate in some ridiculous deathmatch.
Brianne was a good reporter, though, and this wasn’t a new thing to her. She brushed right past it. “Ashton, you are the captain of the inappropriately named ‘Blue Team,’ considering you have a Shy Guy in your ranks that is solid red. What can you tell me about his skill set and what he brings to the team?”
“Well, baby, it’s simple,” Ashton waved his hand. “He can fly, and that’s pretty awesome considering two thirds of his opponents can’t. We thought outside the box on this one.”
“Uh huh,” Brianne tried not to roll her eyes on a live broadcast. “And your other teammate, the Dry Bones? What does he offer to Blue Team?”
“Dry Bones is pretty dope, too,” Ashton shrugged. “He doesn’t need to have his limbs attached to his body to use them, which I don’t even have to tell you why that’s useful.”
“Quite,” Brianne nodded. “And lastly, what about you, the man competing for admittance into the Koopa Kingdom? What do you do that your team needs, and by extension offer to the forces of Bowser, should you be accepted?”
“Honey, I’m the best spear wielder this side of the Nexus. That gives me long game,” Ashton batted his eyebrows as he spoke. “I’ve been fighting and doing this stuff for a long time, so running up and down a court a few times isn’t a big deal. That other guy may be a prime, but if that’s all he’s bringing to the table, he’s in big trouble.”
“Thank you, Ashton, and good luck,” Brianne nodded with a return smile.
“And after the game, if we cou-“
Ashton’s proposition was cut short, and the camera panned to the other side of Brianne, where Zack stood. Except Zack didn’t know it was his turn to interview, as he was talking to someone off screen.
“And now, we also have the captain of the Red Team, Zack Fair,” Brianne said into the microphone, before noticing that Zack wasn’t even paying attention. “Zack.”
“Huh? Oh!” Zack snapped his head to look at the camera, and gave a cheeky nod and a wink. Brianne bit her tongue again. Every athlete…
“Zack, you are a prime, but the ability to summon anything from Omnilium won’t be much use in a fast paced game of bombsketball,” Brianne pushed on, like the professional she was. “What else do you bring to the table?”
“Well, on top of being a specimen of athleticism where I came from, I’m also pretty good at basketball,” Zack explained, waving his right hand and shrugging. “A lot of it should translate over pretty well.”
“If you say so,” Brianne nodded, obviously knowing understanding the differences in the sports better than ShinRa’s once finest. “Tell me about the blue shelled paratroopa that plays for Red Team, disregarding the obvious mix-up in your teams’ names.”
“Oh, he’s a champ,” Zack said with a smile. “He played semi-pro, and has been doing this all his life. He’s fast and mobile, and can cover the court in a heartbeat. He’s our superstar.”
“Fascinating!” Brianne replied with a warm smile of her own, pleased with that summary. “And lastly, you have a defensive master who has been given the nickname ‘Wall.’ Would you care to elaborate on how he earned that name?”
“Yes, of course. That’s because he is literally a wall,” Zack said with a total straight face. After all, there was no better way to describe a Whomp. He had to embrace the insanity or get run over by it.
There was a beat, while Brianne stared blankly at Zack. Ever the expert, she just carried on.
“That’s all from the courtside, everyone. Stay tuned for our exciting broadcast right after these messages. Two teams will enter the arena and compete for a single incredible honor! For one man awaits the privilege of acceptance into the Koopa Troop, and for the other, a fiery death in the moat of lava that surrounds this court!”
“…Wait, what?”
“Good evening, viewers! I’m Brianne Salter and this is another broadcast from the Vasty Sports Network!” she announced with beaming energy. “Tonight we have a very special presentation! The Koopa Kingdom has graciously allowed us to show their thrilling sport of bombsketball!”
The camera zoomed out just a touch, to show that she was standing next to Ashton, the blond haired captain of one of the teams. Ashton, however, paid no attention to the camera, and was instead staring intently at Brianne. When the reporter turned to face him, she jumped when she realized how close he was standing.
“Sup, girl?” the man asked casually, as if he weren’t about to participate in some ridiculous deathmatch.
Brianne was a good reporter, though, and this wasn’t a new thing to her. She brushed right past it. “Ashton, you are the captain of the inappropriately named ‘Blue Team,’ considering you have a Shy Guy in your ranks that is solid red. What can you tell me about his skill set and what he brings to the team?”
“Well, baby, it’s simple,” Ashton waved his hand. “He can fly, and that’s pretty awesome considering two thirds of his opponents can’t. We thought outside the box on this one.”
“Uh huh,” Brianne tried not to roll her eyes on a live broadcast. “And your other teammate, the Dry Bones? What does he offer to Blue Team?”
“Dry Bones is pretty dope, too,” Ashton shrugged. “He doesn’t need to have his limbs attached to his body to use them, which I don’t even have to tell you why that’s useful.”
“Quite,” Brianne nodded. “And lastly, what about you, the man competing for admittance into the Koopa Kingdom? What do you do that your team needs, and by extension offer to the forces of Bowser, should you be accepted?”
“Honey, I’m the best spear wielder this side of the Nexus. That gives me long game,” Ashton batted his eyebrows as he spoke. “I’ve been fighting and doing this stuff for a long time, so running up and down a court a few times isn’t a big deal. That other guy may be a prime, but if that’s all he’s bringing to the table, he’s in big trouble.”
“Thank you, Ashton, and good luck,” Brianne nodded with a return smile.
“And after the game, if we cou-“
Ashton’s proposition was cut short, and the camera panned to the other side of Brianne, where Zack stood. Except Zack didn’t know it was his turn to interview, as he was talking to someone off screen.
“And now, we also have the captain of the Red Team, Zack Fair,” Brianne said into the microphone, before noticing that Zack wasn’t even paying attention. “Zack.”
“Huh? Oh!” Zack snapped his head to look at the camera, and gave a cheeky nod and a wink. Brianne bit her tongue again. Every athlete…
“Zack, you are a prime, but the ability to summon anything from Omnilium won’t be much use in a fast paced game of bombsketball,” Brianne pushed on, like the professional she was. “What else do you bring to the table?”
“Well, on top of being a specimen of athleticism where I came from, I’m also pretty good at basketball,” Zack explained, waving his right hand and shrugging. “A lot of it should translate over pretty well.”
“If you say so,” Brianne nodded, obviously knowing understanding the differences in the sports better than ShinRa’s once finest. “Tell me about the blue shelled paratroopa that plays for Red Team, disregarding the obvious mix-up in your teams’ names.”
“Oh, he’s a champ,” Zack said with a smile. “He played semi-pro, and has been doing this all his life. He’s fast and mobile, and can cover the court in a heartbeat. He’s our superstar.”
“Fascinating!” Brianne replied with a warm smile of her own, pleased with that summary. “And lastly, you have a defensive master who has been given the nickname ‘Wall.’ Would you care to elaborate on how he earned that name?”
“Yes, of course. That’s because he is literally a wall,” Zack said with a total straight face. After all, there was no better way to describe a Whomp. He had to embrace the insanity or get run over by it.
There was a beat, while Brianne stared blankly at Zack. Ever the expert, she just carried on.
“That’s all from the courtside, everyone. Stay tuned for our exciting broadcast right after these messages. Two teams will enter the arena and compete for a single incredible honor! For one man awaits the privilege of acceptance into the Koopa Troop, and for the other, a fiery death in the moat of lava that surrounds this court!”
“…Wait, what?”