Two Koopas, One Shell

[Android 17]

Seventeen tucked his bandana into his shirt with one hand as he steered around the wide bend with the other. As it stood, he was currently in fourth place, but the remaining contestants were all within a few seconds of skirting passed him at any moment.

Up ahead, the tusk-man was second in the standings, and despite his aggressive style, he hadn’t managed to close in on the woman leading the pack. Whatever fueled her pink dragster, it gave her the edge over the growling, snarling murderer trying to take her spot. A few places behind Seventeen, the man with the pipe kart just seemed to be enjoying the sights. Despite his proclamation that he would leave everyone in the dust, he had settled into seventh place without any effort to pass his adversaries amidst on the wide curves of the mountainside.

While the first five minutes of the race had been rather nondescript, a glance at what lay ahead revealed a landscape increasingly pocked by pools of sputtering lava. Amid the pools of fiery death, Seventeen spotted what seemed to be…

Are those floating boxes?

A few moments later, the cyborg was close enough to see that he was definitely looking at floating gold boxes emblazoned with giant question marks. The woman in first place casually passed by one of the boxes and smashed a palm down onto it, causing it to shift to dull brown and drop to the ground. Even though he had some apprehensions, Seventeen steered toward the nearest box and gave it a sturdy thwack as he drove passed.

Just as the box went inert, Seventeen noticed that a black pouch popped into life on his lap.

…Huh.

Before he had a chance to assess the situation, the tusk-man pivoted in his seat and chucked something red at the racer behind him. The third place driver had zero time to react before the object crashed into the front of his vehicle and exploded through his engine. Seventeen let out a silent curse and veered hard to the right to avoid the shrapnel, and as he steered around the charred mass, he saw what seemed to be a spinning red shell skittering back toward the other racers.

Now in third place, the machine-hybrid placed his attention back on the course laid out in front of him. A sharp turn up ahead nearly claimed the life of the woman in first place, and when it became the cyborg’s turn to round the bend, he felt one of his back wheels skirt over the cliff edge as he rounded the mountain. Moments later, he heard a horrible scream followed by the sound of crunched metal.

Six racers…

With a straight shot up ahead, Seventeen glanced down at the bag in his lap after shifting into a higher gear. Once his hand was free, he reached down and pocked the container, discovering that its contents were semi-solid.

Fuck it. Without a second though, the raven-haired fighter lobbed the sack up over his head. As he made the next turn, he shot a glimpse back to see that the bag had contained some sort of tar or oil-like substance, and when the oblivious woman behind him drove over it, she immediately lost control. A beat later, she was tumbling down the side of the mountain. I’m only a little sorry for that one.

With the incline growing steeper, all the racers found themselves mashing down on their gas pedals in an effort to get everything out of the karts. During a nearly forty-five degree climb, Seventeen saw the fancy man behind him drop what seemed to be a large gear from his kart. The comically oversized cog crushed the strange cat person and reduced the pool of racers to four.

Just as soon as that thought passed through his mind, Seventeen looked up to see the tusk-man drive the female racer off the side of the incline. Screaming and wailing her head off, the woman fell silent after the second tumble snapped her neck.

Three’s company…