03-12-2016, 01:22 PM
Drake whirled the clown car around to survey the damage that had been wrought within the past thirty seconds. The smuggler squinted as he spotted Zack's ragdolling form getting flung around on top of the fuck-off dragon's head like a goddamn tassle on a fez. Heh. Dragon fez.
But now was no time for ruminating on the possibilities of Turkish draconic headware! This giant bastard had to be taken down before any of the Gorons got hurt. If that happened, relations between Nealaphh and Darunia would get really bruised. Drake had already overstepped his boundaries using them as bait. C'mon Drake, think...
Drake's thinking was interrupted by a loud roar to his right, as another dragon came swooping down at him. With a weary sigh, the smuggler whipped his derringer out of his pocket and cracked off a snapshot at the beast's rider.
"Oh fuck off!" he screeched as the bolt of green death slammed right into the rider's neck, causing the armored man to slump in his saddle and drag the beast down to the black rock below. The comparatively small dragon let out a horrendous roar of surprise and anger as it's neck snapped against the volcanic substrate. Huh. Well that worked out well. Drake tilted his head, watching the flailing beast for a moment.
Come to think of it, Drake had only seen the super dragon roar from its smaller, top mouth. It only seemed to be breathing from that mouth as well. Maybe the big one that shot radioactive fire acid was meant only for that purpose. Perhaps to protect its vital organs from being disintigrated every time it wanted something dead.
Oh...this was a bad idea.
Drake put his little Fischer Price copter into gear and zoomed down towards the Gorons below, very conscious of the thrashing behemoth just a few dozen yards away. Zack's yelps and shouts were only vaguely audible over the sound of battle. Drake pulled up alongside the Goron caravan boss, who gave him a dirty look.
"Nice going, bro." the chief grumbled, chucking a primed bomb flower up at an incoming bandit.
"Oh shut up. I need all of your bombs."
"...come again?"
"Your bombs. The round explodey things. I need them."
The Goron gave Drake a hard look.
"If we give up our bombs, we'll be sitting cucco."
"If you don't give me your bombs, you'll be cooked cucco."
Cucco was a bird right? Drake was pretty sure it was a bird. Whatever it was it was probably edible. Yeah. Owned. The Goron Chief let out a low, gut quaking grumble.
"...fine. But where are we supposed to put them?"
"In here." Drake said, gesturing at the empty floor space in the clown car. The Goron furrowed his stoney brow.
"That seems-"
"Like a bad idea. I know! Just do it!" Drake said pointing his dinky little plasma gun at another incoming dragon rider and blowing a hole in the beast's throat. Holy shit, what was going on with his aim right now. Was it like that whole Robin Hood thing where if you thought too hard about aiming you'd be bad at shooting? Or was that from that blue monkey movie; the one with the space marines and the hair sex. Was he getting that backwards. Maybe it was from both.
Suddenly Drake looked down and realized that the clow car had suddenly been crammed with well over a hundred bombs. For big guys, the Gorons sure worked fast. Then a bomb hit him in the face. Oh. Yeah they were just chucking them in here like fucking Kobe on the three point line. Drake nodded slowly before turning back to the Goron chief.
"I also need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle."
"I don't...what?"
Instead of responding like a normal person, Drake cranked the clown car's engine into top gear and forced the overburdened sack of shit up to where Zack continued to be flung around. The über dragon's gleaming yellow eyes were stretched wide as it tried and failed to dislodge the ex-SOLDIER.
"Hey! Hey Zack!"
It took a moment for the mullet to respond.
"What!?"
"I need you to pull out!"
"...what?!"
"PULL OUT ZACK! I SAID PULL OUT!"
With an audible grunt/groan, Zack wrenched the buster sword out of the beast's head, bringing a spray of black blood with it. The super soldier balanced precariously on the dragon's head as it gained its bearings.
"What now?!" Zack cried. Drake held up a single finger before pulling out his UNI device. The smuggler was vaguely aware of the fact that the giant death lizard was leveling its six-eyed gaze with the puttering, bomb sphere Drake found himself in.
"Uh...hang on! I need to send a text!" Drake said, typing furiously.
"DRAKE!"
"Done! I'll see ya later Zack!"
As if on cue, the dragon stretched its jaws open wide and let out an ear-shattering roar. Unfazed, Drake drove the clown car right down the dragon's upper throat. Zack's screams of protest were inaudible from within the beast's gullet. With a wry grin inside the slimy darkness, the smuggler jabbed a button on the clown car's console. This really was a terrible idea.
From his perch atop the now choking dragon's head, Zack continued to shout Drake's name, even as there came a momentous explosion from deep within the dragon's throat. The ex-SOLDIER wobbled dangerously on top of the things skull as it heaved a great, bloody cough and shuddered slowly to the ground. There was a long, drawn out gurgle from within the beast's throat, before everything was suddenly very still and quiet. The only motion that could be detected was the silent, gliding retreat of the few dragon riders that had survived...
But now was no time for ruminating on the possibilities of Turkish draconic headware! This giant bastard had to be taken down before any of the Gorons got hurt. If that happened, relations between Nealaphh and Darunia would get really bruised. Drake had already overstepped his boundaries using them as bait. C'mon Drake, think...
Drake's thinking was interrupted by a loud roar to his right, as another dragon came swooping down at him. With a weary sigh, the smuggler whipped his derringer out of his pocket and cracked off a snapshot at the beast's rider.
"Oh fuck off!" he screeched as the bolt of green death slammed right into the rider's neck, causing the armored man to slump in his saddle and drag the beast down to the black rock below. The comparatively small dragon let out a horrendous roar of surprise and anger as it's neck snapped against the volcanic substrate. Huh. Well that worked out well. Drake tilted his head, watching the flailing beast for a moment.
Come to think of it, Drake had only seen the super dragon roar from its smaller, top mouth. It only seemed to be breathing from that mouth as well. Maybe the big one that shot radioactive fire acid was meant only for that purpose. Perhaps to protect its vital organs from being disintigrated every time it wanted something dead.
Oh...this was a bad idea.
Drake put his little Fischer Price copter into gear and zoomed down towards the Gorons below, very conscious of the thrashing behemoth just a few dozen yards away. Zack's yelps and shouts were only vaguely audible over the sound of battle. Drake pulled up alongside the Goron caravan boss, who gave him a dirty look.
"Nice going, bro." the chief grumbled, chucking a primed bomb flower up at an incoming bandit.
"Oh shut up. I need all of your bombs."
"...come again?"
"Your bombs. The round explodey things. I need them."
The Goron gave Drake a hard look.
"If we give up our bombs, we'll be sitting cucco."
"If you don't give me your bombs, you'll be cooked cucco."
Cucco was a bird right? Drake was pretty sure it was a bird. Whatever it was it was probably edible. Yeah. Owned. The Goron Chief let out a low, gut quaking grumble.
"...fine. But where are we supposed to put them?"
"In here." Drake said, gesturing at the empty floor space in the clown car. The Goron furrowed his stoney brow.
"That seems-"
"Like a bad idea. I know! Just do it!" Drake said pointing his dinky little plasma gun at another incoming dragon rider and blowing a hole in the beast's throat. Holy shit, what was going on with his aim right now. Was it like that whole Robin Hood thing where if you thought too hard about aiming you'd be bad at shooting? Or was that from that blue monkey movie; the one with the space marines and the hair sex. Was he getting that backwards. Maybe it was from both.
Suddenly Drake looked down and realized that the clow car had suddenly been crammed with well over a hundred bombs. For big guys, the Gorons sure worked fast. Then a bomb hit him in the face. Oh. Yeah they were just chucking them in here like fucking Kobe on the three point line. Drake nodded slowly before turning back to the Goron chief.
"I also need your clothes, your boots, and your motorcycle."
"I don't...what?"
Instead of responding like a normal person, Drake cranked the clown car's engine into top gear and forced the overburdened sack of shit up to where Zack continued to be flung around. The über dragon's gleaming yellow eyes were stretched wide as it tried and failed to dislodge the ex-SOLDIER.
"Hey! Hey Zack!"
It took a moment for the mullet to respond.
"What!?"
"I need you to pull out!"
"...what?!"
"PULL OUT ZACK! I SAID PULL OUT!"
With an audible grunt/groan, Zack wrenched the buster sword out of the beast's head, bringing a spray of black blood with it. The super soldier balanced precariously on the dragon's head as it gained its bearings.
"What now?!" Zack cried. Drake held up a single finger before pulling out his UNI device. The smuggler was vaguely aware of the fact that the giant death lizard was leveling its six-eyed gaze with the puttering, bomb sphere Drake found himself in.
"Uh...hang on! I need to send a text!" Drake said, typing furiously.
"DRAKE!"
"Done! I'll see ya later Zack!"
As if on cue, the dragon stretched its jaws open wide and let out an ear-shattering roar. Unfazed, Drake drove the clown car right down the dragon's upper throat. Zack's screams of protest were inaudible from within the beast's gullet. With a wry grin inside the slimy darkness, the smuggler jabbed a button on the clown car's console. This really was a terrible idea.
From his perch atop the now choking dragon's head, Zack continued to shout Drake's name, even as there came a momentous explosion from deep within the dragon's throat. The ex-SOLDIER wobbled dangerously on top of the things skull as it heaved a great, bloody cough and shuddered slowly to the ground. There was a long, drawn out gurgle from within the beast's throat, before everything was suddenly very still and quiet. The only motion that could be detected was the silent, gliding retreat of the few dragon riders that had survived...
And, we dream of home I dream of life out of here Their dreams are small My dreams don't know fear I got my heart full of hope I will change everything No matter what I'm told How impossible it seems We did it before And we'll do it again We're indestructible Even when we're tired And we've been here before Just you and I
Don't try to rescue me I don't need to be rescued
Don't try to rescue me I don't need to be rescued