Threat Elimination Protocols: Active

[Illidan Stormrage]

Jim headed back towards the fountain, at the behest of Snott. After trudging the the white wasteland for what seemed like hours and finding nothing else, his green companion suggested that the Mr. Smith of the Internet post might be standing by the only object they had encountered in their time here. His plan made sense, so they walked back.

Soon the brick base of the fountain came into view, the jet of water almost invisible against the stark background, save for the rippling effect over the void. A few people stood nearby it, though Jim couldn't be sure which one was Mr. Smith. A man in a well tailored suit folded his arms, scowling. A box shaped robot zipped around him, clacking its metal hands together. Another tall man stood, a long black cape rolling down his back, and what appeared to be a red cannon for an arm, where a giant laser sword protruded forth. Groovy! Another kid, maybe a teenager, walked up to the group.

"Good morn, fellow adventurers! Does anyone know where Mr. Smith is? I've pledged my service to him in order to help rub out an ugly and stubborn stain of villainy from these white lands!"

The little robot tilted up and refocused his lens. "Wow! He talks almost as much crap as I do!"

The man in the suit and glasses nodded. "I am Smith. You must be ..." he paused while he looked the giant worm up and down, "... Earthworm ... Jim."

"Indeed you are correct sir! No evil shall prevail while Jim has something to say about it!" A great sadness welled within his tiny worm heart, twisting his lips into an ugly pout, and tears spilled out of his eyes. He dropped to his knees. "I just could not ignore Mr. Smith's noble cry for help, after being so callously disregarded!" His tone cracked as he battled his emotions. "The pain is all too familiar with me!" Jim leaned over and cried uncontrollably into the earth, smacking his fist into it.

Then the realisation of his mission sprouted from his misery, and like the sun chasing away the night, Jim leapt to his feet, dry-eyed and firm-fisted. "And yet, that is why great heroes such as I exist; to right the wrongs of those who would perpetrate those aforementioned misdeeds! You have my gun, good sir!"

Smith's lips tightened for a moment, then relaxed. "I'm sure I am all the more ... safer because of it."

The boxy robot wheeled up to Jim. "Hi! You're quite expressive, and most probably emotionally crippled! Would you like to be my friend?"

"Wow, a robot! That's so cool!" Jim crouched down and stretched his wormy body around Claptrap. "Futuristic!"

"I'm a CL4P-TP general purpose robot, but my friends call me Claptrap!"

Jim grasped the little robot's claw and shook it vigorously. "Nice to meet you, Claptrap! I'm Earthworm Jim, professional hero and amateur karaoke enthusiast! Are you any good with a gun?"

"AM I?" the robot chirped.

"Great to hear, my metallic chum! Stick with me, and we shall defend Mr. Smith's honour to the last!"