Threat Elimination Protocols: Active

[Claptrap]

Claptrap regained consciousness at the fountain of infinty. A robotic female voice began speaking in the robot's head.
"CL4P-TP unit: Online. All systems in optimal. Booting up..." Claptrap woke with the robot equivalent of a headache.
"Uugh... Where am I?" Claptrap said groggily, slowly getting to his feet, or wheel, to be precise. He looked around as his heads up display booted up. A pure white landscape, as far as the eye could see. This meant one thing in Claptrap's mind.
"Oh god! Am I dead?" Claptrap exclaimed. "No! I'm not ready to go yet! Computer, am I dead?"
"No. You are completely operational. All systems are green." The robotic voice replied. Clatrap breathed a sigh of relief.
"Whew. Almost blew a circuit there. Computer, where am I?" Claptrap asked, the realisation that he had no idea where he was suddenly dawning on him. After a short delay, the voice responded. "Location: Unknown. GPS device: Unresponsive."
"Unknown?" Claptrap exclaimed. The robot's immediate response was to pull his arms, eye and leg into his body, like some sort of cube-shaped turtle, and sob.

After what could have been hours of sobbing, Claptrap emerged from his turtle position and noticed a man wearing a black suit and sunglasses.
"Wow!" Claptrap said. "He's really well dressed. He must know what he's doing!" The robot rolled over to the man, who seemed to be posting something on the ECHOnet, the Pandoran internet.
"Hello!" Claptrap said, possibly sounding a little too enthusiastic. "I'm new here, and I'm utterly lost. Could you help a robot out?"
The man looked at Claptrap, staring the little robot up and down. His face was utterly emotionless.
"What, are you a machine too?" Claptrap said jokingly, but one look from the man was all the answer the robot needed. "Oh my god, you are!" Claptrap was rather excited to meet another machine so quickly.
"Hey! We should team up!" Claptrap said excitedly. "It'll be great. We can go hunting for loot, We can kill people, we can give high fives..." The man began to show some interest.
"Are you confident in your abilities?" The man asked, no hint of emotion in his voice.
"My abilities in what, high fiving?" Claptrap asked.
"No. Your abilities in combat."
"Oh. Well, I'm not very confident in myself in general, but I can fight." Claptrap replied. "After all, how could I lose while using these quality Hyperion firearms? Only $299.99 at you local arms dealer." The man seemed somewhat confused by this last remark.
"Oops, I guess I still have that advertising program installed." Claptrap said, laughing nervously.