Drink Up, Me Hearties

[Mickey Mouse]

Captain Jack Sparrow awoke in the deepest, darkest dungeon he had ever laid eyes on. Not that he could really lay eyes on this one, either—it was too bloody dark for even his well-trained eyes to make anything out.

“…’ello?” he called into the nothingness. “Anybody out there? No? Right-o.”

A faint orange glow appeared across the room, behind what looked to be a doorway. Ever so slightly, it creaked open.

The flame on Charmeleon’s tail flickered just bright enough for the lizard to be recognizable to the pirate. His pointy teeth bared in a menacing smirk, Wartortle’s snarkiest lieutenant stalked toward the bars separating Jack from the rest of the completely unlit chamber.

“Good morning, Captain Sparrow,” he hissed.

“Is it morning? I can’t really tell—y’know, ‘cause I’ve got no windows?” Jack cocked his head, “…and thank ye for calling me Captain.”

“You’d like windows?” Charmeleon’s brow quirked curiously.

“If’n ye don’t mind, of course,” Jack quickly added, “Seein’ as I’m your prisoner and what not.”

“I’m sure you would like windows,” the lizard pursed its lips, “But you see, the boss man has a thing against Homo sapiens. So you won’t be afforded any of the traditional amenities normally given to a prisoner. He’s decided that you’re going to suffer in all of the worst ways imaginable, in fact. So I’d get comfortable here in the dark. You know, as much as you can, Jack.”

“Ey, mate, I don’t know what sapiens means, but you can be sure that I’m definitely not homo—” Jack began, but was quickly silenced by a plume of flame dancing between the bars. If he hadn’t jumped back as quick as he had, he may have been scorched himself.

The pirate slunk back into darkness, a scowl crossing his face. Just beyond the wall of his cage, Charmeleon’s obnoxious little snicker echoed in the cavernous chamber.

“See you later,” the lizard Pokémon whipped around, heading for the door. Captain Jack Sparrow felt his stomach tie itself up in a knot. How the hell was he going to get out of this one? It wasn’t like he could use a turtle raft to escape from a pretty impenetrable-looking cell. The walls of the chamber were made of some pretty formidable-looking stone, and without his weapons, he didn’t have a prayer in the world of trying to break through them. Hell, even with his weapons, he didn’t think he’d have much of a shot. Why was Wartortle so keen to keep him locked up, anyway? Suddenly, memories of the incident just before he’d been knocked unconscious flooded back into the captain’s brain.

“You know what that does, Warlord?” the wizard Pokémon had asked.

Wartortle’s turtle lips had curled into a devious smirk. “Of course.”

“Oy, mate!”

Charmeleon spun around just as his claw reached for the door handle, obviously irritated that Jack had interrupted his triumphant exit. “…what?” he asked irately. Jack scurried up to the bars and poked his nose as far as he could through them.

“…what does that compass do, exactly?” he asked, and the lizard Pokémon scowled. “Ah,” Jack continued, the realization hitting him, “you don’t know.”

He supposed it was a good secret to keep. For his part, Jack didn’t exactly know what the compass did, but he’d begun to get his suspicions. And if Wartortle was keeping it even from some of his most highly ranked operatives, well… it was certainly the key to quite the risky venture. Charmeleon did not enjoy the knowing grin that was now plastered on Sparrow’s face, so without another word, he spun around and slammed the door, leaving the pirate in total darkness.

So the compass didn’t point north. But it did point somewhere.

Fin.