Drink Up, Me Hearties

[Proto Man]

The fuck is this?

Wartortle looked down at the shackled human as it was shoved down to its knees at the base of his throne.

“What the fuck is this garbage doing in my throne room?” The Turtle Pokémon demanded, glancing to the junior office who had dropped off the prisoner.

Charmeleon smiled faintly and reached into Captain Jack’s pocket.

“’Ey, mitts off the goods!”

The Captain’s protests were met with a blunt impact to the back of his head as the lizard grabbed the compass from the pirate’s pocket and tossed it at the feet of his leader. With a puzzle expression on his face, Wartortle stood up from his throne, and it was then that Jack noticed what material from which the chair was made.

“Bone? Huh, why have I never thought of that? How you get it to stick together so nice, mate?”

“Shut your mouth, Homo sapiens!” The turtle barked as he looked down at the compass. Clawed fingers closed around the lid and lifted it up, revealing a very old-looking compass that seemed to twirl of its own accord. Wartortle snickered as the wooden ‘needle’ came to a stop.

“You know what that does, Warlord?” Alakazam inquired as a smile spread beneath the Psychic Pokémon’s large mustache.

The leader of the Liberation Front flashed a smile filled with fangs as he glanced over at his lieutenant. “Of course.”

From his spot on the floor, Captain Jack Sparrow chimed into the conversation. “S’been broken since I got to this place, mates.” Wartortle knelt down and let the pirate watch the compass needle fidget back and forth, eliciting a pair of wide eyes from Jack Sparrow. “How’d you do that?”

“Spoilers,” Wartortle growled as he smacked the compass shut and stuffed it into his pocket. “Anyway… get rid of this filth. Go lock him up in the hold and then make sure he winds up in the dungeon.”

“With pleasure,” Charmeleon muttered before smashing his elbow into the base of Jack’s neck.