Waiting for Pirate Man

[Gamzee Makara]

Well, that was anticlimactic. And a little cliche. Melx finds that he isn’t exactly very fond of cliches. The swordsman throws a sneer so disdainful, he couldn’t even think of an accurate metaphor, simile, or analogy to describe how disdainful it was. He drops to a kneeling position, placing a little piece of metal about one foot by one foot across with a little blinking light on its little metal shape onto a little piece of Nexus.

Some thirty, thirty-five yards away, Gamzee has exited his dramatic pose. The troll tilts his head to the left, reaching around to scratch at the back of his mess of wild, unkempt hair with a juggling pin.

“Uh,” He cautiously begins, unsure of if he should even begin in the first place, “You doing okay there, sword-brah? Need a sec or whatever?”

The clown’s questioning is met with silence.

Once the little piece of metal has bonded to the Nex-earth via sticky stuffs, the Officer rises to his full height, sans smile.

“I really don’t understand who or what you are. I really don’t know why you’re here. I really don’t care,” The soldier begins, droning on in a strange, repetitive pattern. This stupid fool will undoubtedly make some kind of tactical error, or rather, he won't act tactically at all. Melx deducts that this new challenger's only real stratagem involves charging in blindly, clubs flailing. He takes several steps forward, so that he stands in front of his little metal thingy, before continuing his spiel.

“But you have got to go. GO.”

Melx levies the big brutish buster sword at his newfound foe. Said foe does nothing. He just kinda stands there and blinks, juggling pins still twirling absent-mindedly.

“C’mon! Come at me, kid!”

“Nah. I don’t feel like it. I’m kinna bored and tired and shit,” Gamzee forces out with a yawn. His previously aggressive stance dissipates, the clown falling to a sitting position before he continues with an offer: “You ah, you want some Miracle Elixir, brother? Sssss’ome good shit. Tastes like bottled Miracles. The best kind.”

Ironically, the Faygo covered alien pulls out two bottles of the dee-licious soda- one Redpop, the other Jazzberry Blue. He tosses the bottle of strawberry soda across the battlefield. It bounces once before rolling to the bad guy’s feet.

Melx cannot currently comprehend the amount of clowning around going on at the moment.

“Bored? Tired? I’ll show you tired, dammit!”

It was a natural reaction considering how pissed off he was. A kick sends the offering flying and spinning through the air, but it never reaches the ground. Gamzee catches the shaken up bottle in one hand, palming it. A shadow of a frown flickers across his face as he studies the ascending and ever forming bubbles of carbonation, before the smile returns in full force. Something is strange about it though. There’s a sort of flaw in it, a darkness or an imperfection of some kind. It looks…

Off.

“More for me then, eh? Eheh, eheheh…”

And cue creepy laughter. Fantastic. Enjoyable, even.

*CRACK*

*khsss-POP*

The white Faygo bottle cap goes flying, zooming overhead. Melx watches in slight fascination as the cap glides past him before starting to drop right onto-

Onto-

*ting*

And Melx’s eyes get so comically big right before the explosion that it makes Gamzee laugh so hard.