02-02-2016, 10:53 PM
That had been completely unintentional.
Drake didn't know how to make this stupid animal spit this guy out, and really do anything else with the dragon. A flying robot? Bring it on. A warp pod? Please. Miranda's pickup truck? Yeah whatever. But please, for the love of Dog, please, DON'T make Drake deal with animals. Animals had no rudders, no pedals. Horses were great for some people, but what Drake needed was a lever in the back of their fucking head. So okay a dragon?
"YYYEEEAAAAAAGGHHHHH!"
That was pretty much how Drake felt about everything right now. But hey, at least Zach seemed to be doing pretty good. He was even glowing green! So that was a thing. Finally, the dragon that Drake was not in the least bit in control of spat its rider friend out, only barely causing a heavy iron helmet to smack Drake right in his blessed gob. That was enough of this. The smuggler pulled back on the reigns as hard as he could, causing the beast, miraculously, to rear up with a pain-wracked shriek. It wasn't ideal, but it gave Drake enough of a chance to leap the fuck out of this saddle and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. He rolled a half dozen times before coming to a stop. After a moment, he stirred and let out a low grown. Oh god...oh god. He couldn't feel his right arm. Was...was it broken. Jk, Drake didn't have a right arm, LOL!
...
Laughing at his own stupidity, the smuggler had only a few blessed moments of relief before sitting up and staring up at the dragon he had been riding wheeling around and coming back this way.
"Shiet."
With that, Drake began running at a dead sprint back towards Zack, a little over fifty yards away. From his place, walking towards the other dragon who had a dumbass clown car on its fucking head. So great, now there was about to be a double decker dragon sandwich with a slice of Drake's succulent ass meat right in the center. Drake wasn't really sure what Zack would be in this sandwich, but the man seemed to be comprised of at least fifty percent hair, so maybe he was the lettuce.
"Hey Lettuce!" Drake shouted, sprinting like a dumbass. Zack turned around slowly to see Drake's single arm pumping furiously as he half stumbled, half sprinted over the black, rocky terrain. Behind him, Zack spotted the looming form of the dragon, mouth wide open in anticipation. Without a single, goddamn moment of hesitation, Zack hunkered down ever so slightly before launching himself like a human missile, clear over Drake's head, towards the incoming mythical wing beast. Drake jogged to a halt and turned around just in time to see Zack do a double lateral somersault, wielding his ridicufuck sword in one hand, cutting that dragon open like a human buzz saw. And then he stuck the landing in a three point stance with his sword stuck way behind him like a total, magnificent jackass. Drake pursed his lips as the dragon came to a shuddering, grinding halt, just a few feet from him. Not one to be shown up by someone clearly superior, the smuggler walked over to the other dragon, still struggling to get the clown car off its face.
The thrashing beast was slamming the thing around, like it was trying to crack an egg its head was inside of. Drake approached slowly, observing the timing of the beast's tiring throes. Wham. Wham. WHAM. All at once, the smuggler took a bold stride forwards and raised a booted foot into the air, shoving the clown car ever so slightly off of the beast's face. The from inside the small crevice that was created, Drake could see the dragon's eye peering at him. There was a small moment when the smuggler began to feel sympathy for the misused creature, but then he remembered that he gaze zero fucks about the entire world and raised his plasma derringer up to the glowing eyeball.
KCHOW
KCHOW
KCHOW
...and with that, the writhing beast slumped over, smoke oozing out from its skull on account of having its brain recently reduced to cinders. The two erstwhile adventurers reunited somewhere in between, both looking at the other like they had something to say that they really didn't want to say.
"Sooo..." Drake started, trailing off immediately.
"That seemed easy."
Drake didn't know how to make this stupid animal spit this guy out, and really do anything else with the dragon. A flying robot? Bring it on. A warp pod? Please. Miranda's pickup truck? Yeah whatever. But please, for the love of Dog, please, DON'T make Drake deal with animals. Animals had no rudders, no pedals. Horses were great for some people, but what Drake needed was a lever in the back of their fucking head. So okay a dragon?
"YYYEEEAAAAAAGGHHHHH!"
That was pretty much how Drake felt about everything right now. But hey, at least Zach seemed to be doing pretty good. He was even glowing green! So that was a thing. Finally, the dragon that Drake was not in the least bit in control of spat its rider friend out, only barely causing a heavy iron helmet to smack Drake right in his blessed gob. That was enough of this. The smuggler pulled back on the reigns as hard as he could, causing the beast, miraculously, to rear up with a pain-wracked shriek. It wasn't ideal, but it gave Drake enough of a chance to leap the fuck out of this saddle and hit the ground like a sack of potatoes. He rolled a half dozen times before coming to a stop. After a moment, he stirred and let out a low grown. Oh god...oh god. He couldn't feel his right arm. Was...was it broken. Jk, Drake didn't have a right arm, LOL!
...
Laughing at his own stupidity, the smuggler had only a few blessed moments of relief before sitting up and staring up at the dragon he had been riding wheeling around and coming back this way.
"Shiet."
With that, Drake began running at a dead sprint back towards Zack, a little over fifty yards away. From his place, walking towards the other dragon who had a dumbass clown car on its fucking head. So great, now there was about to be a double decker dragon sandwich with a slice of Drake's succulent ass meat right in the center. Drake wasn't really sure what Zack would be in this sandwich, but the man seemed to be comprised of at least fifty percent hair, so maybe he was the lettuce.
"Hey Lettuce!" Drake shouted, sprinting like a dumbass. Zack turned around slowly to see Drake's single arm pumping furiously as he half stumbled, half sprinted over the black, rocky terrain. Behind him, Zack spotted the looming form of the dragon, mouth wide open in anticipation. Without a single, goddamn moment of hesitation, Zack hunkered down ever so slightly before launching himself like a human missile, clear over Drake's head, towards the incoming mythical wing beast. Drake jogged to a halt and turned around just in time to see Zack do a double lateral somersault, wielding his ridicufuck sword in one hand, cutting that dragon open like a human buzz saw. And then he stuck the landing in a three point stance with his sword stuck way behind him like a total, magnificent jackass. Drake pursed his lips as the dragon came to a shuddering, grinding halt, just a few feet from him. Not one to be shown up by someone clearly superior, the smuggler walked over to the other dragon, still struggling to get the clown car off its face.
The thrashing beast was slamming the thing around, like it was trying to crack an egg its head was inside of. Drake approached slowly, observing the timing of the beast's tiring throes. Wham. Wham. WHAM. All at once, the smuggler took a bold stride forwards and raised a booted foot into the air, shoving the clown car ever so slightly off of the beast's face. The from inside the small crevice that was created, Drake could see the dragon's eye peering at him. There was a small moment when the smuggler began to feel sympathy for the misused creature, but then he remembered that he gaze zero fucks about the entire world and raised his plasma derringer up to the glowing eyeball.
KCHOW
KCHOW
KCHOW
...and with that, the writhing beast slumped over, smoke oozing out from its skull on account of having its brain recently reduced to cinders. The two erstwhile adventurers reunited somewhere in between, both looking at the other like they had something to say that they really didn't want to say.
"Sooo..." Drake started, trailing off immediately.
"That seemed easy."
And, we dream of home I dream of life out of here Their dreams are small My dreams don't know fear I got my heart full of hope I will change everything No matter what I'm told How impossible it seems We did it before And we'll do it again We're indestructible Even when we're tired And we've been here before Just you and I
Don't try to rescue me I don't need to be rescued
Don't try to rescue me I don't need to be rescued