Doomguy Vs The World (IC thread)

[Clownpiece]

Gunfire, always a lovely sound to hear out of nowhere. Whenever he heard the wonderful cracks of gunpowder and lead distantly echoing down the corridors, Somerled knew it was just going to be a fucking day. Gritting his teeth, the monster turned back down the way he had been walking away from, a nice little spot that he had just been past minutes ago, for the umpteenth time, on his silly little foot patrol to make sure no little shits were wandering about on floors they shouldn’t be on.

“All security personnel, we have a class A intruder on Floor 83! That means highly dangerous for the noobs here. I want everything SEALED OFF. NO ONE GETS UP TO THE TOP FLOOR, UNDERSTAND? Suspect is wearing green and is armed to the teeth. If possible, take him alive, but if at all impossible, SHOOT TO KILL.”

Somerled squeezed his eyes closed as he passed by the loudspeaker that had blared that message. He had half a mind to smash it then and there, but no, destruction of property and all that. As if he needed someone to yell about an intruder when the sound of guns made it plainly obvious.

Fiddling with the standard-issue black security uniform he was currently wearing, the weather spirit made his way down the corridor, walking with calm, evenly paced steps. He wasn’t really in any particular hurry to get to whatever asshole had decided it would be a good idea to pick a fight in this tower of all places. Clearly they were the epitome of rationality and brilliant ideas, so they’d probably be cleaned up before he even got there.

“You’d think for such a high-budget company, they’d supply decent uniforms, or armor, or weapons.” Somerled complained, now messing with the standard-issue rifle he had been armed with. Which, truth be told, he had no idea how to use.

“Cutting costs and all that happy crap.” Sonny his voice for a response, his tired tone betraying his own thoughts on the situation. “You should probably move a bit faster. The intruder’s a Class A.”

Mostly ignoring his other half, the spirit continued to adjust his gun. Something he probably shouldn’t have been doing because it really had no parts to adjust in the first place. He twisted a bit, and with that causing the weapon to give a harsh shriek of metal rending apart, he realized too late that it was a bad idea to do that. “Looks like I’m gon-”
BANG
The floor between his feet gained a new hole, and with a small yell, Somerled leapt backwards, his voice cut off from the accidental gun discharge. Regaining his composure quickly, the monster changed his mind on using the rifle as a fancy bludgeon, and strapped it to his back where it’d do the least amount of harm to him. Now that he was unwilling to use that as a club, he ordered his other half to make him an actual weapon.

Bright sunlight illuminated the corridor as Sonny wrenched a decent chunk of magic away from him, coalescing it all together to create his own, temporary body. A glowing body which was consumed again quickly enough, the magic used to form it now in the shape of a massive gleaming mallet, shining in a strange color amalgamation somewhere between silver, black, and blue. With the supreme weight of the hammer now in his grasp, Somerled grinned cruelly.

Now experiencing a vigour he had not felt this day until now, the monster raced forward, as fast as the hammer would let him, towards the sound of the intruder. Nearing where he thought the sounds were, he slowly came down to a more manageable speed, momentum preventing him from just coming to an instant stop. For a brief moment, he debated the best course of action to take if someone was, in fact, in that room. After a short, unintensive thinking-over, he slowly hefted the hammer, careful not to throw himself off balance, and smashed open the wall next to the door. Leaping through the newly-created hole, Somerled swung wildly at the first person he saw, whoever that asshole in green armor happened to be.

648 words according to wordcounter.net
Hammer Status: Summoned