Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?

[Ada Wong]

Downright blasphemous indeed.

"That's, uh... Quite the name you have there," Crowley replied, feeling rather unsure. Still he soldiered on through this peculiar conversation. "I'm Crowley, the...." he trailed off briefly, trying to find a fitting title to match up with something as puzzling as 'the Bejeweled Blade'.

Crowley the idiot? Crowley the fallen angel, turned demon? The Crowley unwittingly responsible for the Spanish Inquisition? Crowley the bloke who somehow lost the infant Antichrist? That Crowley?

No. No way. Not happening. As far as he knew, no one here knew him as that sucker. Which likely meant no more passive-aggressive, er, most overwhelmingly aggressive summons from Hell. Which was just fantastic, if you asked him.

The only problem was— well, his car, and then Aziraphale. What would the angel think, if he were to disappear and never return again? Unless there was another Crowley running around somewhere on that old blue marble, fresh as a daisy and causing all sorts of problems. In which case, and it really hurt him to even think it, he wouldn't be missed.

".... The serpent." There. That title worked. Fittingly ambiguous.

Feeling mildly disgruntled out in such an undefended, wide open space, Crowley shot a glance over his shoulder. Yes, right. Still alone with the talking sword. He really was having an off day.

"Well, erm. Sorry," he winced a tad melodramatically. "I tossed you like that. Koren, was it? Didn't expect to hear a voice bouncing around in my head is all. A new one, I mean."

The demon chuckled falteringly. He didn't have any other voices in his head, other than his own and occasionally one that sounded suspiciously like Aziraphale whenever he was tempted to do something less than pious. Which was, all the time.